Sparks in Wisdom's Fire: 2022

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Surrender

At the beginning of 2022, I chose a word— dare. I attempted to live into it. Then a funny thing happened midway through the year. A word slipped into the cracks of my soul whispering into my core. Surrender spoke to me.

Surrender. It took me a bit to really understand what the word meant to me. I thought, “Doesn’t surrender mean giving up?” Not really. Surrender is an act deeper than letting go. It is an openness to what is unfolding — no more struggling to make things work. To surrender is to be in a state of heightened awareness. By surrendering, we move through life’s tangles with an awareness that the tangle has roots.

This surrender is not about giving up — it is about living in anticipation. What do we do with this anticipation? We use it as a spring board to leap into personal transformation. In transforming our self, we become change agents in this messy, uncertain world. In essence, we become detanglers of life’s messy knots.

I realize that surrendering is one of the most difficult stances we will ever take. Surrender calls us to withdraw from action. Surrender is living nonattached to our fears or expectations. We live without clinging to the what-ifs or pushing away this things with which we are averse. We actively notice our triggers and choose to be in ways that will neutralize them. Surrender is a way of being not doing.

In surrendering, we clear the path. We see with clarity our purpose. As we walk the path we anticipate — not expect. We look forward; we open to what is happening instead of putting limits to the unfolding. On this trek into soul purpose, we soften, evolve. We become who we are meant to be as we look past our imperfections.

Surrender says, “Stop fighting. Breathe. Be in the tangle. Learn from the discord. Listen to the quiet of my voice as it leads you through.” When we listen to surrender, we aren’t complacent. Rather, we listen with heightened awareness and act upon our intuition.

My word as I move into 2023 remains surrender. It will be with that word until another word comes whispering through the cracks of my soul and blows on the ember of my being.

Are you ready to surrender into this brave, scary, new world? I hope so, because I am ready to change the world with you.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. She uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? An evolving blueprint for your life that sustains a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Beyond Fatigue Into Compassion

I had hopes that I was a bodhisattva in training. You know, some who is here on this planet to help alleviate suffering. Lately I have felt anything but compassionate. In fact, I find myself in a quagmire. Have you every just felt depleted? Like you’re scraping the barrel of your compassion and you’ve got nothing left? I feel that I am there.

So, what is this quagmire? It’s compassion fatigue. This is caused by empathy arousal or being overwhelmed by the feelings of suffering of another. When we are unable to move past empathy arousal, we have compassion fatigue which causes personal suffering. We’ve got nothing left. We act from our suffering and unintentionally contribute to a toxic environment.

So, how do we get past the fatigue? First we realize that we are caught in this cycle of shared suffering. Then we name how we are stuck in empathy arousal or caught in the feelings of another.

How do we shift from this place of suffering and fatigue? Unfortunately there is no one-size-fits-all response. We may find a way to minimize the impact of being stuck in empathy arousal; we may continue to spiral into fatigue unaware; or, we might just walk away. I hate to quit. I hate being stuck. But, sometimes I am too tired to move forward.

Shifting begins with awareness. We name how we are feeling and find the energy to discover what is triggering our fatigue. These simple steps clear the debris on the road that brings us back to our true self. Clearing the path riddled with debris requires an act of self compassion — maintaining healthy personal boundaries. This means being aware when they are breached and continuing to repair them as needed.

The more we do this, the more we heal the cracks through which our compassion spills. As those cracks heal, we can return to being a person who holds the space for suffering to be alleviated.

But, in this moment I don’t have a lot of energy to focus outward. I am going to be okay with focusing on myself and healing those cracks. I know that only through the practice of self compassion can I be compassion to others. I hope that you are kind to yourself, too.

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Sparking Life in the Bole of the Soul

The days continue their trek into the longer night as we edge closer to the Winter Solstice — a celebration of light within the dark. I do not remember a December so gloomy, so devoid of Brother Sun. Hoping for a visit from those bright rays soon!

Last night as I peered out my window, the dark was shrouded in mist. The fog twined with the shadows in invitation. I thought climate change — nothing is normal any more. Then I reminded myself that I need to get better at surrendering into the new normal — the unexpected, the uncertain. Yes, I do need to open to surrender and maybe you do, too!

Within my surrender, the mist called to me. I became aware that Autumn is slipping from our grasp. It is time to celebrate the coming dark time. For this is more than a time of huddling in blankets and resting in the quiet. It is a time of less doing and more being; a time of less talking and more listening; a time of less gathering and more reflection. But, mostly it is a time to allow the decay to fall away and carefully nurture what rests in the bole of your soul.

Within the bole of your soul is where life sparks. Where the uncertainty makes sense; the unexpected is welcomed as friend. This is the place where we can identify our fears and call upon our courage to meet them as friends. The bole of the soul is the dark, welcoming space that invites us to spark our soul as we settle into our self over and over again.

My challenge to you: ask yourself in these waning days of Autumn,

What can I do to finally let go of _________________ ?
What do I need to surrender into?
What will make me free?

You don’t have to know the definitive answer. Be with the answer that you have in this moment. We are evolving spirits who, when we listen to our intuition, know what we need in this moment. Trust yourself. Because it is time to enter the bole of your soul and connect with who you truly are.

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

I’d Rather You’d Tell Me No

Have you ever asked a question needing a simple yes or no answer to find the question and the response tipped into an abyss? No answer. You get ghosted. Or maybe you were the one to ghost by tipping that question/answer duo into an abyss. Sometimes a simple yes or no is just too difficult to utter.

I admit to being ghosting and being ghosted. At times, I’ve been too afraid to say no or unwilling to commit myself to the yes. In my fear and unwillingness, both I and the querent were stuck in limbo.

Something different happened when I was asked a question. I cannot tell you what that was, but I do remember my response. I really didn’t want to add one more thing to my to-do list, so out of my mouth came, “no.”

The person blustered a bit and finally said, “You’ve written a book on compassion. What part of that was compassionate?” The words that came out of my mouth surprised even me: “That would be called self-compassion.” Those words left the person speechless.

Self-compassion. Sometimes we say yes instead of saying no because instead of being compassionate we try to please people. Those yeses deplete our body/mind/spirit/heart until we have nothing left to give. When we refuse to answer at all, we fill aggravation, frustration, and anger festers in the void. Both create an unevenness in our life and the other.

No matter how difficult it is, the only way to replenish our self is through the judicious use of no — a practice of self-compassion. Through the practice of self compassion we are able to be compassionate to the other. Saying no is not devaluing the ask, it is just saying I cannot do it. Our “no” frees the person to look elsewhere for their “yes.”

So, instead of scurrying away, squinting your eyes shut — acting like they can’t see you if you can’t see them, take a deep breath. Listen to what your body, mind, emotions, and spirit are saying about your response. Trust that your four aspects holds the wisdom you need. Take another deep breath, ignite that spark within. Say yes or no in ways that feed you.

I call myself a recovering “yes” person. It is not easy to act with your power. If I can do it, so can you.

That is what this time is ab out. We don’t stop because winter calls us into hibernation. We enter into deep reflection in order to discern what to keep and what to use as the kindling of courage that will create a bonfire of dreams realized. Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary.The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

No time to sleep. This time is for you.

Darkness is encroaching into the day. The nights are growing for just a bit longer. Soon it will be the Winter Solstice, but the darkness won’t go poof! and suddenly be gone. The vibrancy, the light, of life is bookended by the lengthening shadows of dawn and dusk.

Within the darkness from dusk to dawn is a chill that doesn’t quite leave even when the sun is high in the sky. Within that dark, I hear the chill whisper, “Listen. Pay attention. The time of harvest is through. No time to sleep. This time is for you.”

The trees are bare. I can hear without summer buffers or the crinkling of fall. Suddenly I see beyond the narrowness of a bountiful nature vision. Maybe you can, too. As the chill whispers through the skeleton trees, the sandman whispers, “Sleep.” We cannot give into this lullaby. We cannot sleep. Within the shortened days and the dark nights, the real work begins!

The coming winter is not a time of easy slumber. It is a time to blow upon the ember of our bravery. To light the dark and chase the chill. Time to dive deeply into the very center of our being. The chill and darkness are not something to escape. They are to be embraced as we waken our courage and resolve.

It’s time to peer into the cracks and crevices of our soul to see what growth sprouts through. To gently take that growth into the palms of our soul. To speak to the growth and listen to what it shares. In the sharing we receive guidance of how to prune and tweak and shape the bonsai tree at our core.

Like that tree, we grow slowly. We grow with a purpose. We are the master garden that looks beyond the now and envisions the dream of what we will be. This is not a time of only dreaming. We must act in ways that bring our dream closer and closer to being.

The days are shorter, the dark is longer. Within the mystery of the coming winter, connect to the bonsai tree at your core and shape it into your dreams realized!

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary.The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

A Magical Mindfulness Formula

Navigating Difficult Conversations

Communication + the Holidays. Right about now you may be wishing that you had brushed up on your communication skills. Picture this: you are at a holiday gathering and get into a conversation with someone doesn’t have the same beliefs that you do. How do you respond to one more alternative fact?

Maybe you get frustrated and are on the verge of saying something rash. Logically, you know that is not the answer. What is the magic formula to not escalating a difficult situation? Instead of forming a reactionary reply, focus on yourself. This isn’t so hard once you follow a magical mindfulness formula.

Yes, you heard me right. The magic begins with a focus on you. Now, this isn’t about falling into a fantasy world where only you exist. It is about listening objectively to what another is saying while noticing the impact that their words have on you. Trust me, this is not as easy as it sounds. While with practice you don’t become perfect, your ability to navigate difficult conversations become permanent.

There isn’t time to take a six-week course on compassionate listening. This is a bootcamp blog: you learn a simple technique that takes the focus off the words of another and puts it onto the emotions triggered inside of you during a conversation. In this heightened state of awareness, you notice how you are getting caught by the words and body language of another.

With this knowledge of your triggers, you can slip from a state of high anxiety into a place of calm understanding. You are better able to traverse the minefield of reactions into the calm peace of response. Let’s bootcamp the simple steps:

Center and anchor yourself. A simple way to do this is to walk coordinating the steps to your breath. Inhale as your roll your right foot heel to toe. Exhale as you roll you left foot heel to toe. As you walk connecting breath to movement, affirm your intent to be aware of your reactions to potential triggers. (I do this as I walk from car to front door of a gathering.)

During a conversation, play attention with your full body. This means listening with all of your senses and checking in with your body, mind, and emotions. Ask yourself: “Is my body tense or relaxed? What is my internal monologue saying? What is my emotional temperature? What is my body, my mind, and ,y emotions telling me?” This is fact finding — noticing the mines in the conversation field and how they may trigger your reactions.

Objectively use information that you have received about how the conversation is impacting you. Maybe you are able to offer objective comments about the topic. Or, perhaps your body, mind, and spirit are shouting at you: “I am being triggered. I cannot maintain neutral. TIME TO GO!” When you feel that an outburst or meltdown is eminent, stop listening to the conversation. Return to your breath. Feel it flow through your body relaxing away tension. Let it soothe any ruffled emotions. Calm your thoughts. Connect more fully to your core. When you are ready, compassionately end the conversation. (For example, you can say, “It was great talking with you. I want to catch up with [insert name]. Thanks again! Have a terrific holiday.)

Remember, you cannot stop the words or actions of another. You can stop your reactions to them. Defuse the ticking time bomb by focusing on your breath. This gives you the energy to show up as your best self.

One last thought: come up with an exit strategy when entering a minefield. You may need to leave the gathering all together. That is perfectly okay. Remember, this is about taking care of you by creating an oasis of calm that you can call upon whenever you find yourself triggered. When you have control over you, there is less of an opportunity to be emotionally hijacked. And, while not perfect, your practice of taking care of you becomes permanent.

Life is all about you. The only way you can help others is by first helping yourself.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Choosing to Twinkle

The first snow of the season gently coated skeleton trees. Coated white, their crispy leaves fell to the ground. I found myself snapping photo after photo of the falling white. The magic of the snow and the click of the camera calmed my soul.

Hours later darkness has fallen and the night lights glint off the remaining snow. Tomorrow the sun will stop hiding. It’s rays will cause melting — goodbye early season snow! For now, I am going to sit in the quiet of the snow and let its balm bring peace to my soul.

Peace of snow. Peace of soul. Do you have a practice of moving out of the disquiet and into the calm? Even when I am not aware of discord, it ruffles my being. It is the unsettledness that will not be denied no matter how much I focus on something else. How do you move from that feeling of something not quite right to neutralizing what is ruffling you? How do you wake the twinkling of hope, joy, and possibility?

Sometimes this twinkling seems just out of reach. How do we move from discord to twinkle? When I slip into the snow-calm, the world that comes to me is simple. Whatever I do, wherever I find myself, however I choose to be, I need to keep it simple. Keeping my response simple increases my awareness. It shines a light on how to live in the unevenness in ways that make me more balanced. Simple is an inside job that opens the door to, well, our inner self.

When we are infused with simple, our focus is on our self. This means that the distractions are more easily identified and the illusions recognized. We can choose not to get caught in the disquiet. What doesn’t catch us, we do not judge. Nonattached, nonjudgmental, we focus on maintaining calm and showing up twinkling…balanced.

First we have to get to that place of being simply our self. For me, today the entrance to that place is snow. The falling fluff calms my anxiety and lets me breathe into wonder. I do admit that if I needed to be somewhere the snow might have had an opposite effect on me. So, finding your simple is about discovering what works for you!

Being in the simple is an ongoing discovery. It is an invitation to listen to the whispers in your soul and discover what calls you in this moment. Ask yourself, “What quiets my spirit and what causes its ruffling?” Then, choose a simple way to soothe your soul. Do this over and over again until simple becomes an intuitive response to the unevenness in your life.

Don’t be afraid of not getting it right. Life invites us into a place where simple and complex clash, and, within the clash, we find the best way forward.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, November 8, 2022

Growing Shadows & Flying Sparks

The shadows grow. The light grows dim. Within the darkness a single flame flickers. Follow it through the angst, the uncertainty. What is this light? It is you.

It is inevitable that the world darkens as we edge into the final weeks of the year. The days grow shorter. The shadows grow longer. (Okay inevitable in the northern hemisphere!) The shadows are not a creepy, dismal place no matter what you have been taught. No, they are a place of curious exploration.

I can almost hear you say, “the shadows are a place of illusions cast.” Well, yeah. Illusions have a purpose, too! Within them are opportunities to find your truth, walk your path, to say to yourself, “Hey! Look at me.” In the looking become the you that you have been all along.

Why do you journey into this place of illusions? To stretch those muscles of curiosity and courage. To learn a bit of what you thought was unknowable. In doing so, to gain clarity about what is hidden within the illusions.

How do you journey into this place of illusions? Now that is the question! Begin by recognizing that the dark’s only illumination is your internal light. Let me say that a bit differently: your light is the only light that matters in the dark. Stop looking for an external beacon — that is part of the illusion that leads you, me, us astray.

Let’s return to the journey. Become quiet in whatever way works best for you. Settle in to the edge of the shadow. Turn within. Seek your flickering flame with all of your senses. Do not doubt that the flame is there. No matter how tiny a flicker, your guidepost is deep within your core.

Having difficulties? Breathe in. Breathe out. Find your breath rhythm. Ask your breath to guide you. Ride your breath trusting that it will bring you to your internal flame. When you find your flame, because you will, blow gently upon it. Feel the flying sparks of courage, of curiosity, of mystery ignite your daring. With daring, walk into the shadow with your body/mind/spirit/heart. Explore the wondrous mystery.

As you walk among the shadows, just notice. You don’t need a macro view. Whatever wishes to gain your attention will speak to you through any of your senses. Do not take what you sense at face value. Just notice. The shadows speak in symbols and signs — of mystery and magic. Allow your inner vision to reveal what you need. Tuck these gems of wisdom into your heart. Know that you can reflect upon them when the time is right.

When you feel that you have enough treasure to reflect upon, retreat from the shadows. Spend time journaling, arting, giving voice to the treasures. As you write, draw, create, you will instinctually separate the illusion from your truth.

Once you hold the wisdom, ask yourself, what shall I do with my truth? Know that this “do” might be to hold it gently in the palm of your hand until it becomes a welcome, wondrous part of you.

Wishing you a grand adventure within the shadows of your soul.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Autumn is Peaking… Time to Let Go & Live!

The leaves are falling and the sky has taken on that decidedly November hue. I realize that Autumn is peaking! As I breathe in the crispness and pile on the layers, I feel the cold nipping at my being. Soon the trees will be bare, and the naked truth revealed.

With the unveiling comes a sense of urgency that ruffles my complacency. It nudges me to wake up. With a groan I shake myself awake and peer into this new, increasingly barren world. What does the March into Autumn have to tell me? I discover the message by listening with my being.

“The time is now,” I hear whispered through the crinkling leaves. “The time is now,” shines through the blustery clouds. “The time is now, do not forget,” Autumn twines into my being.

The time is now for what I ponder? To peer into the changing season with all of my senses. To breathe in the possibility that is already twining through my being. These possibilities nudge me awake. The time is now to joyfully, gratefully walk down my life path. To celebrate my harvest.

Deep within my soul a spark flares. It connects me to the daring, the curiosity, the courage that edges me on. I know that my path doesn’t stop at the harvest. In many ways, my work is just beginning. Now I enter into a time of deep reflection.

As I peer outside my window, I see the reflection of my soul in the changing season. Nature speaks, and, within my soul, is an echo of this beauty. I cannot help but listen to the invitation to reveal who I am.

With all my being, I look at the increasingly barren trees. My sight does not stop there. I peer just beyond them into the mystery of what is coming. Where before the growth prohibited me to look clearly into this place, I can see clearly now.

My dreams once hidden by the glorious growth of summer, are now revealed. All that is left is for me to shuffle through the crinkling leaves and walk toward the horizon of my dreams.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Life is a Journey (or maybe a highway!)

Life is a journey or maybe a series of journeys and way stations. Sometimes I am excited to be on this stretch of life-way; other times not so much.

Journeys can be well thought out, planned. We know when they begin and exactly where they end. We know how we are getting from point A to point Z. Other times the journey is more uncertain. We take that first step not even aware that we are beginning a trek. Only later do we realize where we are.

Even if we do not recognize it, each journey has a pivotal moment of beginning. That moment could have happened with a seemingly inconsequential decision. This beginning altered life in phenomenal, far-reaching ways. Each step on this journey comes with the opportunity to make a radical shift in your life.

Journeys offer a wealth of new possibilities. We may begin eager to make changes, to shift the path’s trajectory, and find a part of our self that we’ve never lost. As we edge deeper into the journey, perhaps the enthusiasm wanes until each step becomes less a foray into adventure and more of a lackluster attempt to sustain a path that just isn’t working for us.

We may find our self buried in the necessities of the daily and forget to revel in the joy, the wild tenderness, the fierce beauty of each moment. In unfolding, we don’t take time to celebrate the twists and turns and dips of the path.

Do we end the journey? Maybe. But maybe not. It might not be the journey that has us stuck but the illusion of what we should be experiencing. As we shift our awareness to the moment, what we experience changes. We consciously the next step. In doing so, we discover the slightest nuances of joy and curiosity and rightness.

This journey is unfolding, evolving. It invites us into courageous curiosity. We may not know where we walk or even when our steps draw us onto a different fork. Newness, oldness, the destination isn’t what is important; it is the journey…each intentional step.

I invite you to embrace the wonder of this life. Live with curious abandonment. Know that this journey leads us exactly where we need to be. Enjoy the twists and turns, the joys and curiosity, the being on your journey.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

A Tale of Two Cats: Chaos & Change

Scattered meows heard

here & there when herding cats

best to be aware

My life passed in a haze as a pair of cats traipsed through my days. The pairs’ names was Chaos and Change.

Everywhere that I looked those recalcitrant cats slinked — in my life, in the lives of friends, throughout the world. Dancing to a frenzied tune they resisted any attempts to control or re-direct. So caught in the upheaval of these mischievous cats, I could not see the opportunities waiting to shift my perspective.

Finally I focused on that tiny whisper riding on the purrs of Chaos and Change. I heard the words of Pema Chödrön, “You can see the world as an unfolding of opportunities or just a series of raw deals.” An aha! An epiphany! Change and Chaos are opportunity!

Opportunity is an effervescent sparks that dances through everything. When I see possibility, I realize that while I can’t herd those cats; maybe, just maybe, I can change my perception of the cats and see them as opportunities to grow, to heal, to be peace.

I enter into my quiet and calm myself. In this place of peace, I invite the energy of possibility to suffuse me. I feel her ruffling breeze, and am drawn deep into her roots. I ask myself, what is causing my resistance to seeing opportunity instead of chaos. The answer is simple. Triggers.

As I expose my triggers, I gained a new perspective. I recognize that the cats weren’t chaotic. They were dancing to a song I composed and choreographed. To my chagrin, I realized I was the cat whispered who did not like how I was whispering to those cats! When I understood that I choose the song and the steps to the dance, the chaos once defined as raw deal became an opportunity.

Look at your frenzied cats. Let’s call them catalysts or triggers. How are you inviting the chaos of self-defeating triggers? How are those triggers manifesting in your life? Name the catalysts that stimulate the chaotic patterns. Once aware, you break the patterns.

You rewrite your script and move from a place of seemingly endless chaos to one of limitless possibilities. Those frenzied cats will always be in our lives. We can choose to see those cats as raw deals or as opportunities for growth.

Name those catalysts, befriend them, teach them your new song. As your song spirals from you, it twines into the hearts of others becoming a calming influence throughout world.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.