Sparks in Wisdom's Fire

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Reflecting the Beauty of Another's Soul

Sometimes I get so busy that I miss the beauty of the soul of another reflected in mine. The world feels heavy. I tune into the news and see the bad in the world. Or, I get so focused on my worries that I slip from the moment. I stop making eye contact with others. I get mired in sorrow. My spark dims. I miss the beauty of the soul of another reflected in mine

Then something wonderful happens. A single act of kindness, a query of compassion jolts me into the moment. The compassionate spirit of another glints off the kindling in my soul. And, the beauty in my soul sparks a flash fire. If I choose, I become part of the wildfire of beauty that singes the darkness, incinerates the badness. What is left is the ashy compost of hope.

Bad things happen. Frustration occurs. I’ve been there. I am betting that you have, too. But, when I am in the moment, the bad, the frustration, lightens. I work in the compost of hope into the soil of my being. Unless the compost is allowed to nourish transformation, frustration continues to fester thus diminishing the light of our beauty.

I believe — no, I know — that the beauty in each of us, and the world, is our salvation. What would happen if our only criteria of connection would be the beauty of another no matter how hidden? Judgments and defenses would no longer have the illusion of validity. And, where beauty was diminished, we would burn away the dark that obscures it though acts of compassion.

We are not so different you and I. Within us is the potential to connect spark to spark sending a shower of beauty into the world. But, sometimes we get busy and so focused on our self that we forget how connected we are. I’d like to believe that we are not intentionally hurtful. Rather, we get stuck in our suffering and become blind to our beauty and the beauty that surrounds us. To see the beauty we need to reset the way we see the world. That reset? Self compassion.

Self compassion clears the cobwebs. Our vision becomes 20/20. Our beauty shines brightly and we see the beauty of another reflecting in us. We know that our beauty reflects in the other even if they cannot recognize it. Because after all, this journey is not contingent upon the sight of another. It is about our ability to see beauty and respond to it.

Be the mirror that reflects the beauty of the world. Be beauty that is reflected in the world.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Life Coach through Intuitive Connection, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available through www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for life coaching, keynotes, programs, and intuitive consultations.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Compassion's Points of Nothingness

A flood of compassion tears fall on a senseless act of violence and incomprehensible hate. I am shocked by an act that snuffed out 50 “points of nothingness” that Merton writes about. I believe, no, I know, that those points from New Zealand have crossed the veil into a new existence. Yet, I wonder how each of us, individually and collectively, will meet the challenge represented by death times 50. How will our compassion not only be a healing balm to the world but be a catalyst for change?

For someone who wants to understand how personal suffering that leads to unconscionable acts, I cannot even ask what this terrorist was thinking. I do not want to know what caused his heart to be crusted by fear and anger and bigotry. Maybe I am just too fatigued or don’t want to look in the face of evil. Maybe I don’t want to even try to understand the act that created a blanket of suffering that threatened to suffocate a peaceful place. Maybe I want to focus on the resilience and compassion of the Kiwis.

So, I turn my compassion to those whose lives have been irrevocably changed by these 50 deaths in New Zealand. I am heartened by the outpouring of care and support that happens moments after the attack and continues days later. As my compassion spirals to reach the wisps of suffering caused by this violent act of bigotry, I realize that compassion is the ultimate power, the change agent that can transform the world — if we choose to act.

Violence is a miasma, a cyclone bomb that wreaks havoc on our individual and collective body, mind, spirit, and heart. I can’t help but wonder why we don’t realize when we are so adamant about standing our ground that we forget that the ground belongs to all of us. And, I wonder: How can we grow a place of welcome amid the growing violence? How can we extinguish the flame of hate and nurture the spark of love? How can we be compassion’s presence in this world gone awry?

Compassionate action begins by reaching out to family, friends, acquaintances, and the intimate stranger. First, we connect with those who hold our core beliefs. We join with them to create a world where love is the greeting, the farewell, and every act in between. We set our intent not to get so caught in the minutia of what we want that we miss the potential for real sustained transformation as individuals and as community.

Because, really, we are in this together, you and I. Unless I can truly seed the gap by listening and responding to you — and you hoe a row, by listening and responding to me, peace and love cannot bridge our divide. If the chasm continues to grow, then we are doomed. The violence within us will continue to flare and race across the chasm laying waste to everything in its path.

But, I have hope. Continued violence and destruction need not be the outcome. If we can reach out with love, set aside our judgments and defenses, truly listen, we can live in a world where the wildfires of violence are contained. We cannot change an act of violence after the fact, but we can seed bridges of love and compassion with our points of nothingness-light shining from within.

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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

The Compassion of Believing in Yourself

Doubts creep in like water trickling into the crevices in our heart. Each time we ignore them or buy in to their illusion, the temperature of our confidence drops. Doubt droplets turn to ice and widen the crevices of suffering. What is the greatest act of self compassion in these moments? Believing in our self.

With belief in our self, we navigate through those doubts, bridge the crevices, and begin the process of healing the rifts between what is true and what is illusion. This compassionate action begins with self acceptance. It grows each time we refuse to shame or blame our self for our imperfections and reactions.

I believe it is safe to say that we are all imperfect. That, at times, our words and actions come out sideways. Self compassion begins through recognizing that our reactions are less about who we are and more the result of a trigger that catches us unaware. Instead of shaming and blaming our self for our actions we have choices: we can blithely continue on the path unaware, we can acknowledge our actions and get mired in shame, or we can identify the reaction.

Identifying our reaction is the beginning of self compassion. Once identified, we can learn the inherent lesson, forgive our self, and let go of the shame. These are the basis of self compassion. There is nothing easy about the practice of self compassion. We are asked to open our eyes to these parts of our self that we do not like or that cause embarrassment. We are asked to consciously use their opportunities to grow into our truest self.

Self Compassion is an act of self belief. When we believe in our self, we find the materials to build bridges across the crevices of suffering. Walking across these bridges we avoid falling into the traps created by our previous suffering. On the bridge, we can drop seeds of hope and love into the crevices. These eventually heal the cracks in our being that were caused by suffeirng.

Beliefs in our self whispers, “I know what is in my heart. I know who I am. I can befriend my imperfections, love them, and become stronger through them.” This self empowerment sows the seeds of compassionate presence that we ultimately share with the world.

The world is uncertain. Each of us is uncertain. If you are like me, you show your imperfections often. That is why the practice of self compassion is so important. We cannot be a balm to the uncertain world until we heal those parts of our self that are filled with suffering.

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Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Acting Compassionately When Things Happen

Bad things happen to good people. I’ve heard that said over and over again. Sometimes, I am the good person bad things happened to. When that happens, I can get mired in the bad (sometimes I do) or I can find a way through the bad into a new reality.

What happens when we reframe the bad things? We are able to acknowledge and act upon the opportunity seeping through the brokenness of our soul. We shift from hopeless suffering to a sense of purpose. Within this shift is the power of the reframe.

How do we reframe? Let’s begin with the sentence, Bad things happen to good people. Remove the adjectives and you get: things happens to people. By removing those descriptors, we take away the emotional judgment of the sentence.

Next, we discern what happened. Please note, that this doesn’t mean that our grief is any less or the frustration and anger we may be feeling is negated. No, it means that we look objectively at what is evolving. By stepping outside the myriad of broken feelings, we are able to identify the challenge inherent in that bad thing.

Reframing does not negate the reality of a situation. It provides a different way of looking at it, finding meaning in it, and gaining peace no matter what our circumstance. For example, a loss of a job may give us an opportunity to see how we get stuck in the same employment pattern job after job. But, this time, we see the pattern, learn the lesson inherent in it, and heal. We gain the power to secure a position that will not allow us to repeat the pattern again.

We can say, the loss of a job is a bad thing or the loss of that job gave us an opportunity to recognize what patterns do not work in our life. The job loss opened us to healing a part of our self. It positioned us to find employment that allowed our authentic self to shine.

It is inevitable that things happen to us. But, when they do, we have a choice — to stay mired indefinitely in the suffering or to reframe the circumstances we find ourself in. While the reframe may not be an instantaneous fix; through it, we gain the objectivity to create the life we want.

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Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Reflected Compassion in the Mirror of Life

Have you ever looked at yourself? Really looked beyond what is reflected in the mirror of your life and see, with all your senses, who you are and how your spark flares from deep within?

We all have an image of who we want to be. We can identify the many ways that we are that person. Perhaps that is the part of us that shows up as loving, gentle, and compassionate. But, some times we do not have the energy to show up as our true self. Our energy is leached by some unknown catalyst. It is all we can do to show up as much less than our authentic self. We show up in some degree of reaction mode.

Those shadow moments might fill us with despair. We wonder how can we stoke the fire of authenticity when we do not even have the energy to find kindling. How do we reenergize when our connection to our core feels frayed? We take time for our self. This is not the time of an extra nap, decadent romance novel reading, or another morsel of chocolate. No, this is time of reflection and introspection.

During reflection and introspection we dialogue with our self. Maybe we listen to our internal monologue, journal, take labyrinth walk, meditate — we do whatever mends the connection to our core.We heal the frayed, tattered threads connecting us to our true self. Powered by our true self, we notice what is depleting us and name its internal and external components.

Perhaps we want to believe that what depleted us is out there; that we had no control over our energy drain. We discount how we got caught by the trigger — if only the other person hadn’t said this or if only the circumstances had been different. But, to ignore our reaction is to negate that burst of reaction-energy that depletes our body, mind, spirit, and heart. These depletions manifest as being physically tired, unable to focus mentally, frustrated, anxious, feel disconnected to our core. These are not symptoms of failure. They are opportunities to understand and grow.

Understanding how we get depleted is the beginning of change. We use this learning to make other choices. And, those choices plug the leaks of our energy. As we recharge, we gain the power of awareness. Only when our energy is directed to our true self can we look into our mirror and see the reflection of our true self smiling powerfully back at us.

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Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Shenpa & A Tale of Self Compassion

One day I got tired of the NPR news on my car radio, I flipped to my synced phone. Instead of choosing a playlist, I listened to the random song that played. Since that time, listening to the few random songs that queue has become part of my mindfulness routine.

Curious, I wondered what message the song had for me. No matter what song they often create planks that bridge what I am currently experiencing to hope and belief in a better day.

The song that last slipped into the queue was Leaves Don’t Drop They Just let Go by Carrie Newcomer. The song reminded me of the Buddhist concept of shenpa or the things that hook us. I immediately began to wonder what shenpa had me so ensnared that I was unable to let go. What clouded my mind so that instead of seeing what truly is, I was trapped in illusion.

Through these ponderings, I reminded myself to breathe. When that grappling hook of shenpa catches me, it is near impossible to focus on anything other than the hook. Instead of fearing the hook, shenpa asks that we breath through our acknowledged fear. With courage, we identify and examine the small and big ways that we get caught.

We need even more courage to identify what continues to hook us while not blaming the hook for our experience. During that reflection time about shenpa, I realized that it isn’t the grappling hooks that are the problem. No, the issue is those well worn areas of our mind, spirit, and heart that the hooks snag. Shenpa is an outward expression of our inner turmoil.

When I am aware, I notice those hooks and am able to feint left or right or maybe take a simple step back. No matter what my mindful movement, the hook falls short unable to embed itself in my mind, spirit, or heart. The good news? It only takes one time of avoiding being caught for our re-patterning to begin.

When I am aware of how my thoughts and actions deepen the grip of shenpa’s hooks, I have the power to sand those areas that are prone to being caught by grappling hooks. The more I practice not getting caught, the stronger my reframing becomes. I become more resilient as my response flexibility increases. I become the person who doesn’t drop in reaction, I can just let go with response.

So ask yourself, “How am I being caught?” “What am I attempting to drop instead of just letting go?” These answers give you the awareness to recognize shenpa. Through your awareness you are able to heal a pockmarked spirit that no longer welcomes shenpa. Healed your truth shines from your authentic spirit.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a life coach using the Neural Synchrony™ process, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are Imperfect in an Uncertain World, A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships, and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa intuitively assists clients in navigating their life paths. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2019

The Compassion of Just For Today

Just for today. Have you ever lived those words knowing that in an instant the world could changes? Those three words have helped me immensely through the course of my life. They are nuggets of gold liberally sprinkled on the path of life purpose.

In the 20+ years that I have been a Reiki Master, those words have provided a source of inspiration and compassion. They have called me to seek to understand, to no longer live my life in 24-hour blocks of time, to fully be present in the moment.

Just for today strips the veneer from life. It requires us to ask, “How am I feeling today, in this moment?” And, it demands that we answer that questions honestly. Maybe we truly are feeling great. But, perhaps we are in the grip of some malady — sad with our circumstance, angry over a perceived slight, frustrated at how we believe others are treating us. The list of maladies seems endless.

When we live from this maxim, we cannot get caught in the emotion underlying our malady. For, “just for today” speaks of the impermanence of life. What is happening in this moment is fleeting unless we grasp onto it with both hands and refuse to let go. Just for today reminds us to let go and enjoy life.

Mindful of our life catalysts, we are better able to identify what triggers reactions and what brings peace. We no longer keep a running tally of the number of times we slip into reaction versus the times we respond with compassion. Life is no longer about winning when we render the triggers benign through our response or losing when a catalyst creates a wildfire of reaction obliterating any hope of response.

No, just for today requires that we live in the moment — that we stop ruminating on the past or focusing on the future. To have a foot in either reality would ensure that we get trapped in reaction. When we live in the moment, we recognize any challenge and respond with love and compassion. That is all that is required. That is enough.

You may be wondering, “How do I live in the moment?” With five simple principles (taken from Reiki training):

Curious to learn more? Sign up for my mailing list and receive details on living the five principles. (You need not have Reiki training to live with these principles.)

Wishing you many moments of living, “just for today.”

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