Gratitude & The Other G-Word

The hectic pace of this holiday season kicks off in just a few days. It all begins on that day that is centered upon gratitude. On Thanksgiving, we focus on what we are grateful for — those things that we appreciate in our life. But, during any holiday season there is another g-word that creeps in, often when we least expect it. Grief washes over us with a tsunami of emotions.

Grief is a byproduct of many situations. The one commonality is loss. We may lose a person, a belief, a job…the list is endless. What twines within each loss is the knowing that nothing will ever be the same. While death is swift and permanent, all too often when an ending happens, the situation or people involved remain. We yearn to go back and fix whatever went wrong. We want to wave a magic wand and return to another time. 

Instead of trying to fixing anything, we choose to wade through the tumble-jumble of grief. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defines the experience of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. As someone who has experienced grief, I can tell you that grief is a nonlinear roller coaster ride of these five emotions. Any of these, at many points in the ride, might slip into the seat beside us. We do not begin with denial and end with acceptance — we experience each in whatever order and as many times as we need to to process grief. 

How do we celebrate the holidays with grief as our companion? Start by accepting not the loss but whatever stage you find yourself in. Be nonjudgmental and non-defensive about how you are feeling — what you are feeling. Those two stances empower you to be nonattached. Being nonattached means that you no longer ignore the grief nor do you cling to it making it your identity. Distanced from the pain, you listen to what grief is saying.

This listening is feeling what you are feeling. Try this: set a timer for 90-seconds. Allow whatever wells up to cascade over you. Notice without judgment, without defending how it feels. Notice where you are impacted in your body, pay attention to your thoughts, and identify what other emotions are triggered. After 90-seconds, thank your grief for its monologue, roll up the residue, and blow it from your being. 

Maybe that g-word is asking you to live consciously through the other g-word. Be grateful for each acknowledgement of your sorrow as you connect with your grief. Remember, it takes strength and courage to welcome grief into your life and befriend it. This holiday season, if you find yourself overwhelmed by grief, well,  maybe your acknowledgement of that grief is what you will become most thankful of. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019 

Bridging Uncertainty: Creating a Nonviolent, Compassionate World

We live in two worlds — the uncertain, where our  fears and angst are driving forces, and the extraordinary, where we power our actions with compassion. Within the uncertain, acts of violence percolate; within the extraordinary nonviolent revolution is birthed. We bridge these worlds by responding with compassion to imperfections and uncertainties. There is nothing magical about this bridge. It is crossed by our intent to be compassionate. 

Uncertainty is exacerbated by inattentiveness. We fear what we do not know. When we are mindful, we better name our fears and see the extraordinary, a place where nonviolence is possible, shining in each moment. With an awareness of how we can be extraordinary, we shift from reaction to response. Through our lived experience of the extraordinary, we become change agents who use the power of our transformation to integrate the extraordinary into the uncertain. 

In these moments of integration, we attune to the incredibleness of life unfolding. Although we live within the uncertainty, we see possibility shining from everything. Creating a nonviolent, compassionate world is no longer a maybe — we step along the pathway of nonviolence and compassion with our actions, words, and thoughts. The gate of nonviolence — a place of engaged compassion and peace — is revealed. 

This gate is not just for a few who are able to experience it. It is available to all. The gate isn’t a doorway to the great beyond. It manifests with peace and compassion in the here and now. In the present moment, we enter this gate through a shift in perspective. We accept that while we may always be imperfect and the world uncertain, we can choose to respond compassionately and nonviolently. This perception shift requires focusing our attention beyond the commotion to what really matters. 

What really matters is our connection to one another and the vein of the sacred that flows through this connection. (For the purpose of this workbook, let’s define the sacred as what we hold in great reverence.) Even if we cannot see the sacred in a person or situation, our response is an acknowledgment of what is there but not seen. With this acknowledgement, the gate of nonviolence is visible. 

How do you reside in this gate of nonviolence? Learn more in Imperfect in an Uncertain World: Your Life, Your Message. (Blog is an excerpt from the book.)

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019 

Compassion Asks, "Is it all in the presentation?"

The holidays were spent with two sets of grandparents whose lifestyles were very different. My father came from a relatively small, affluent family. His mother prepared food that was beautifully presented. The meals were epicurean delights. They tasted as good as they looked. My other grandma was the parent of eleven children. Her meals were hearty and homespun; meant to fill you up.

Both created memorable holiday feasts. Each meal was thoughtfully prepared. While the presentation was different, the same essence resonated within. The food was prepared and served with joy, love, and gratitude. 

Have you every found yourself yearning for something to look a certain way only to be disappointed in how it presents? And, I am not talking about food. I know that I have had visions about how something was supposed to look only to be disappointed. I wanted to leave the situation without a backward glance yet something called me back. “Take one more look,” it whispered. 

An amazing thing happens when we look beyond the surface to the very core of what we are given. As we peel back the layers, we find what is hidden at the core. Instead of being disappointed, I often find exactly what I need. At first glance that need might not be what I want. It may be a difficult challenge that I fear I will never meet. That’s where joy, love, and gratitude come in.

It’s the joy of knowing that I am strong enough to attempt to meet the challenge no matter how it is presented. Self love impels me to learn the lesson rooted in the challenge. And, gratitude I feel for the resources to try one more time. The true gift is realizing that I am not a failure if I attempt to meet the challenge. The knowledge that I will learn something is enough to nudge me into transformation. 

Life gives us many challenges. Some are wrapped beautifully. We yearn to tear the paper off and try that challenge on for size. Others we cringe when we see them. “Oh, not again,” we think. And, we strategize how to regift them to someone unaware. But, no matter what the wrapping, each challenge demands that it be owned no matter how it presents. In the owning we create a life well lived. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

Self Compassion: The Practice of Spiritual Kintsugi

A hurt so deep cracks our being. Snaking deeply  into our soul, we fear a part of us will break off shattering into tiny pieces of hopelessness. Maybe we ignore the crack’s gap as it widens until we can longer leap across the growing illusion of okay. We fall into the recognition that something is askew in our life.

Eventually we take a breath and survey the suffering the crack has caused. This survey is the beginning of spiritual kintsugi. We remember that each of us is a spirit in an incredible vessel birthed after nine months in an earthly kiln. It is inevitable as the years turn to decade that our vessel cracks.

From birth, we are meant to experience life and, so, we do.  Each experience impacts at least one of our four aspects: body, mind, spirit, and heart (emotions.) When we are aware, we understand the lessons. Unfortunately, we sometimes sleep walk. In those moments the cracks form.

All experiences have the potential to make us stronger even those that crack the vessel of our being. We may even find that a piece or two of our self breaks off.  But, these pieces are not lost. When a breakage occurs, we engage in spiritual kintsugi. A simple definition: the repair an aspect of our vessel using the gold of our true self. We are stronger as a result. (Kintsugi is the process of repairing a piece of raku pottery using gold. The result? A more durable, stronger vessel.)

What is the gold of our true self? It is compassion woven with hope, courage, and wisdom. Flowing from a strong desire to understand, spiritual kintsugi demands that we forgive our self, first and foremost, for what has occurred in our life and how we reacted or responded to the happenings. Then, we identify the challenge or lesson inherent in the crack and find peace in our current circumstances. Only then can we begin to heal.

Within this peace is the power to seal the cracks with the gold of our true self thus creating a new pattern of existence. The melding of gold offers a new way that plucks our dreams from the realm of the impossible and ignites our potential. The result? We live the life we are meant to live reflected in the gold of our experience. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019