The Energy of Fear: Power vs. Force

I know that you are scared, so am I. We cannot give in to the force of our fear. To do so is to cause minute cracks in our being. Unchecked the force of fear can overwhelm us, shattering us into shards. But, there is a power in our fear that cannot be denied. That power must be harvested with courage for real change to occur. 

Power. Force. Let’s star with definitions based upon the words of Mirriam-Webster:

• Power — the ability to act or produce an effect; mental or moral efficacy; to give impetus to
• Force — compulsion or constraint acted in such a way to do violence; to break open

Let’s tweak the definitions:

• Power is a response that wells from the core of who you are. It is a shout from our authentic self that echoes our courageous self. 
• Force is an overwhelming reaction that fills us with an inability to move through illusion and doubt. Unchecked it shatters us into shards.

It is key to harness the power of your fear so to minimize its destructive force. This begins with acknowledgement of how fear is speaking through your body, mind, and emotions. Name how it is stressfully impacting your body. While you may not fully understand the depth of fear, you can acknowledge its voice. To acknowledge the voice is to reduce the intensity of fear’s symptoms.

Next, be aware of your propensity to respond or react. Name how you use the power of courage to respond. Identify how you get tangled in the force of your fear. Don’t despair when you react. Remind yourself that fear based reaction is a natural byproduct of living. We get scared every day. Sometimes it is so small that we don’t even notice our fear or the subsequent reaction.

Have compassion when you get twisted in fear. To shame yourself is to drive fear deeper into the well of your being. Recognize that you are human. Know that without fear you would not birth courageous response. Celebrate each moment that you harness the courageous power of fear. 

There is no fear without the opportunity for courage. Courage speaks through moments of fear. It gives you the impetus to move through a challenging time into your true self. Start by having a conversation with courage. No matter how quiet, how timid its voice, listen to the words of courage. Decide how, with courage’s guidance, you can kindle the flame of your power. The gesture does not have to be grand; any spark of courage is enough. 

Respond with your power. This can be as simple as a mindfulness practice of breathing through your fear or it can be having a difficult conversation with someone. It can be an act that takes you out of your comfort zone. A courageous response can be present in an infinite number of actions. It may be grand or humble. No matter how you express it, your actions echo with the power of who you are. 

Fear is uncomfortable, inevitable, powerful. It is a wake up call to continue the great quest of soul. Will it wake the tangling of fear vines that cause minute cracks in your being or will it propel you to the heights of your true self? Only you can know that answer and respond with courage and compassion. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Need vs. Want: A Story of Epiphany

How many times have you said, “I need that,” only, in retrospect, to sheepishly admit that it was not a necessity; it was a want. Need versus want: a new pair of shoes, another piece of chocolate, art supplies… (fill in your blank). Do we really need those things are? Or, do they just fill an increasingly bottomless pit eroded by our fears?

How do we tell the difference between the two? It is difficult with our internal monologue shouting over our common sense. Sometimes it is easy — we may not need another pair of shoes or that piece of chocolate. We laugh at our attempt to delude our self. But, other times, we just cannot stop our self from crossing the barren wasteland of our fears and enter the illusive abundance of wants. 

If you are like me, you can mentally see that you have crossed that barrier while, at the same time, labeling a want as a need. Last week, I had an epiphany moment about needs versus wants that was triggered by the actions of others. 

Covid-19, the novel coronavirus, has raised the fear level of everyone I know. The unknown is scary. Walk around any big box store and you see shelves emptied of cleaning supplies, hand sanitizer, and soap. I find myself wondering who actually needs 10 jumbo bottles of hand sanitizer or a case of antibacterial wipes. One woman confided in me that she had purchased $80 of canned good — much of it was items she didn’t like butfelt she needed because of the pandemic. 

These actions are an extreme example, but sometimes it takes an extreme to bring understanding. My epiphany came as I felt compassion for those caught in the shenpa of fear. They were caught in buying stuff not out of need but out of fear-filled want. Of course, I used this moment of epiphany to ask myself, how was I mimicking the foundation of their behavior? How do I get caught in fear and delude myself into believing a want is a need?

There is no shame in getting caught in the illusion of fear-filled want mislabeled as a need. It happens to all of us. It provides an opportunity to reconnect to our core and redefine how we live our life.

• Begin by recalling a time when you labeled something as a need that was really a fear-filled want. Let this illusion settle into your being. 
• Ask how it manifested physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 
• Notice where it speaks to you. 
• Listen to how it speaks to you. Name what it is saying. 

Really listen to the fear bubbling up. Befriend your fear. Ask yourself, “What can I do to alleviate the suffering?” Then, act upon your learning.

Finally, ask, “How can I reconnect to my authentic self and what I really need?” That connection may be the single, most difficult thing that you do today. But, each time that you uncover the illusion of need, it gets easier to confront it. Through this compassionate confrontation you gain the strength to realign with what you truly need in your life. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Be Still: The Art of Juggling & Letting Go

When juggling, sometimes you just need to let the balls drop. Let them crash to the ground. Be still. Let go. Survey the debris. 

I have discovered that I am not a master juggler. Sure, most days I seem to keep the balls in the air, but every once in a while, I drop one or two or three. This slippery balls bounce off my fingertip crashing to the ground. Maybe those falling balls provide a moment of respite and regathering. 

What follows may be a good old, messy cry. Those tears release the angst, the fear, the frustration and bring calm. Only in that moment of calm can we really look at the debris littering the ground of our being. With new eyes we are more discerning as we ask our self, “what do we really need?” And, “what do we no longer need?”

Before we answer those questions, we practice self compassion. That alleviation of suffering actually began with that messy cry and our refusal to act as if everything is okay. It continues in every act of kindness toward self. Perhaps we savor a cup of tea or nibble a square of chocolate. We go for a walk. Each act eases our suffering and brings us balance.

Then we answer the questions beginning with what we need; what is working in our life. Focus on the positive first. It lays the foundation for the hard reflection later. Find ways to celebrate what is working — the balls that you want to pick up and juggle yet again. No matter how small or seemingly inconsequential, name it. 

Next, ask what you no longer need. Now, this is tough, because we wouldn’t have got to the place of dropped balls if we knew deep inside what we didn’t need, what we are willing to let go. Name it. Even if you believe that you cannot let go, be with your desire to not need whatever is causing suffering. That is the tough part. Trust that in time, when the suffering is rubbed clean, that you will be able to let it go. 

Celebrate the fact that you are able to juggle. Now everyone has such an agile way of meeting life. You obviously do. Pick up the balls that need to be in the air and juggle away knowing somehow, some way, you got this.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Dream With Me

Dream with me. Open your heart, your mind, your soul, to you deepest desire. Pull aside the curtains of your illusions and peer through the window of possibility. Breath deep into your potential. Your dream is on fire for your belief.

What do you dream? Maybe you want to build a life with a soulmate. Perhaps you want a fulfilling job. The list of possible dreams is endless but one thing is certain: your dream issues forth from the depth of your being beating a drumroll louder and louder until it cannot, will not, be denied.

Dream big. Dream long. Birth your dream with your heart and soul. Now is not the time to deny or edit. In the beginning, allow your vision to expand beyond your current reality into unlimited potential. Within this limitless, you resonates with who you are, with your soul purpose. 

Next, create the path to manifesting the dream in your reality. Your dream is your goal; how you get there is the plan. Remember, every good plan has strategies that help you accomplish short term goals that flow into the long term one — your goal realized. Each strategy offers opportunity to revisit your dream and tweak it into clarity.

Begin your strategic plan by asking: 

• What one small step can I take into my dream today?
• How will this step combine with others to bring me closer to my dream in 6 months? 
• What will living my dream look like in a year? 

This way of realizing a dream may sound daunting or even boring. It is neither. Realizing your dream is manifesting who you truly are at the core of your being. Your dream is as alive, dynamic, and evolving as you are. The seed of your dream may remain the same while the blossom may look very different — just as we do with time.

Dream with me. Create a vision that is a mirror of your heart, and soul’s, desire. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

From Discouragement to Hope

I am discouraged. Maybe you are, too. You might be  thinking I cannot read another depressing word. Before you stop reading this, give those words a change to echo in the cavern of your being. Locate where are you feeling despair. Listen to what arises out of discouraged. Befriend those feelings. For me, when I stop running and face my discouragement, something incredible happens. And, that is what this blog is about.

The echo of self discovery shakes loose all the gunk that keeps me stuck in a place of loss and hopelessness. In the stark reality, I am surrounded by truth and illusion with no where to run. So, I ask myself, “What is true? What is illusion?” Listening for the answer, I discern how each keeps me trapped in a place of despair. This is the beginning of the trek from being discouraged to finding hope.

I’ve studied the law of attraction; read about the prosperity gospel. I find myself stuck — if those are true, why isn’t there enough for everyone? And, if we do not help one another, aren’t we negating beliefs of prosperity and abundance? I’ve come to realize that the world is a whole lot wider and deeper than either philosophy. It is our right and privilege to live in that deep, wide world. 

The root of my present despair stems from why we make life so hard when it could be so simple? The quote, “Living simply so that others can live” (Gandhi) resonates within. I discover within those words less about a paradigm shift and more of a statement of long held beliefs. As I sit with my feelings, I recognize that my despair is a reaction to external events. I may not be able to change the externals, but I can shift from reaction to response. This shift opens the door to profound change. 

So, here I go. I cannot stop anyone from living their life philosophy. They cannot stop me from living mine. Both of us at sometime or another will surely try. Stepping away from desiring a world that is like us, we live our truth. In doing so, we are shining lights in an uncertain world. We might not be able to eradicate suffering, but we can be compassion’s grace and presence in a suffering world.

Maybe that is the lesson in the discouragement. It is not that I can save the world or even change the world or even shift the predicament I find myself in. No, the challenge is, despite the discouragement, to be compassion however, wherever, and whenever I am called. In doing so, my compassion triggers a shift from despair to hope in myself and others.   

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Peeking Over The Fence At Life As It Is

Freedom: To soar to the  height of wonder and to dive deep in the darkness mining the lessons of life lived. Acknowledging freedom while recognizing the ways we get stuck. To have the courage to explore the crevices and climb over boulders that bar us from being our true self. 

Freedom flows from our responses and is halted by our reactions. In letting go of shoulds and woulds, we twine courage, curiosity, and daring. This braid glitters with joy. Living from this triad brings liberation. No longer fearing life as it is, we more clearly see our choices and have the strength to choose wisely.

Taking life as it is doesn’t mean giving up and living within the narrow path of what life throws at us. No, taking life as it is requires the courage, curiosity, and daring to push out the boundaries, peek over the fence of our illusions, and dig into the ground of our being. We actively seek potential in the moment and live through the possibility making it reality. 

Taking life as it is invites us into the curious adventure of being who we are without constraints. We challenge perceived limits and ask what they are teaching us. Even during moments of despair, and we will have them, we do not give up. We submerge our self in these feelings to gain awareness of the roots of reaction and response while not getting mired in despair. We submerge to understand; we feel to let go. In letting go, opportunity to live freely occurs. 

So how de we live freely as we take life as it is? 

• Don’t run, don’t hide, from what is unfolding in your life.
• Acknowledge what may be stopping you from living with daring.
• Ask for the best way forward and the courage to step into the new.
• Take a step, even a tiny curious one.
• Plant seeds of who you are in each thought, word, and action.

But, mostly, never give up. Search for the little and big freedoms. When you find them, respond to them with courage, curiosity, and daring. Be your best self and life as it is will become a joy-filled if challenging experience. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Gratitude: An Outward Expression of a Happy Heart

Gratitude: an outward expression of a happy heart.  Who doesn’t like a thank you? I know that I do. There is an art and science to being thoughtful. It involves both tangible and intangible components. Both are necessary as we ride the line between too little and too much gratitude. 

Even if the thank you might cause a tinge of embarrassment, we feel a warmth in our heart that radiates throughout our lives. As a result of gratitude, our thoughts are lighter, our words more gracious, and our actions move lively. We try a little harder, do a bit extra work, have a can-do attitude.

The opposite is true as well. If we do not feel appreciated, our approach to a person or a situation shifts. Our investment lessens. We may find our self responding less and reacting more. This change might not even be a conscious one. Unaddressed feelings of non-appreciation are strong depleting motivators. 

How do we identify when we are hooked by under appreciation? I am a big fan of full body listening. Periodically throughout the day I check in with what my body is telling me. Whatever I feel, I correlate to my current thoughts and emotions. Then, I reflect upon what is at their roots — this might be an interaction, a relationship, an ongoing situation.

What do we do with our realization? The answer is rooted in our power of choice. Once we acknowledge how we are feeling, we choose how to relate to a given situation. We choose how we prevent any feelings from negatively impacting our relationships. Then we act from our heart and not from our hurt. For me, this awareness often provides a wake up call to stop being so hyper-responsible. I am mindful about what is mine and what is another’s. Sometimes what I do is not needed nor wanted. 

Probably the most important thing that I do is to ask myself how I am appreciating myself. Naming the ways that I show gratitude to me is necessary to keep a strong connection from my heart to my actions. 

Through all of this we may recognize that while people are not grateful in ways we want, we can model and attitude of gratitude in ways that we need. This changes how we relate to our imperfections, and in doing so, make the world a little less uncertain.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020