How many times have you said, “I need that,” only, in retrospect, to sheepishly admit that it was not a necessity; it was a want. Need versus want: a new pair of shoes, another piece of chocolate, art supplies… (fill in your blank). Do we really need those things are? Or, do they just fill an increasingly bottomless pit eroded by our fears?
How do we tell the difference between the two? It is difficult with our internal monologue shouting over our common sense. Sometimes it is easy — we may not need another pair of shoes or that piece of chocolate. We laugh at our attempt to delude our self. But, other times, we just cannot stop our self from crossing the barren wasteland of our fears and enter the illusive abundance of wants.
If you are like me, you can mentally see that you have crossed that barrier while, at the same time, labeling a want as a need. Last week, I had an epiphany moment about needs versus wants that was triggered by the actions of others.
Covid-19, the novel coronavirus, has raised the fear level of everyone I know. The unknown is scary. Walk around any big box store and you see shelves emptied of cleaning supplies, hand sanitizer, and soap. I find myself wondering who actually needs 10 jumbo bottles of hand sanitizer or a case of antibacterial wipes. One woman confided in me that she had purchased $80 of canned good — much of it was items she didn’t like butfelt she needed because of the pandemic.
These actions are an extreme example, but sometimes it takes an extreme to bring understanding. My epiphany came as I felt compassion for those caught in the shenpa of fear. They were caught in buying stuff not out of need but out of fear-filled want. Of course, I used this moment of epiphany to ask myself, how was I mimicking the foundation of their behavior? How do I get caught in fear and delude myself into believing a want is a need?
There is no shame in getting caught in the illusion of fear-filled want mislabeled as a need. It happens to all of us. It provides an opportunity to reconnect to our core and redefine how we live our life.
- Begin by recalling a time when you labeled something as a need that was really a fear-filled want. Let this illusion settle into your being.
- Ask how it manifested physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
- Notice where it speaks to you.
- Listen to how it speaks to you. Name what it is saying.
Really listen to the fear bubbling up. Befriend your fear. Ask yourself, “What can I do to alleviate the suffering?” Then, act upon your learning.
Finally, ask, “How can I reconnect to my authentic self and what I really need?” That connection may be the single, most difficult thing that you do today. But, each time that you uncover the illusion of need, it gets easier to confront it. Through this compassionate confrontation you gain the strength to realign with what you truly need in your life.
Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.
Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020
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