Sparks in Wisdom's Fire: August 2021

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Walking the Middle Way

Do you ever reflect upon the past? Try to make sense of it? Or, maybe connect what happened then to what is happening in the present moment? I know that I do.

Last week I read through some blog posts from over a decade ago. In retrospect, 2010 was a chaotic year — both personally and weather-wise. I accepted a new position, my mother died, a series of extreme weather events happened, wildfires ravaged the US west…and there was more. It was a chaotic year.

Fast forward to 2021. There’s a lot of uncertainty this year. A lot of calamity happening — geopolitical issues and storms triggered by climate change. These external extremes have such a big impact on us internally. Sometimes I feel pummeled by all this change. I find myself wondering, “what do I do?” Do I erect physical/emotional/mental/spiritual barriers to keep the worst of the upheaval away from me? Sit in blissful ignorance about what is happening? Or, find a middle ground?

I am a proponent of the middle ground. For in that space I wake up — really wake up to the insanity of the world. I can feel how it is battering me. And, in those moments I accept that I am helpless to do anything. In that middle space, I anchor in myself. Anchored I am aware. In this awareness I let the waves of chaos wash over me. As they wash over me, instead of being overwhelmed, with awareness, I ride each wave into a place of understanding.

I mentioned being anchored. Anchoring is the ability to stay in the movement — not get pulled away by externals. When you are anchored, you are balanced and in control of yourself. Less likely to react from your triggers. More likely to notice when you are impacted by the world. You have empathy but are not overwhelmed by it. In fact, you are more likely to turn your empathy into compassionate action.

Back to the waves. I ride those waves not only through the power of my connection to self but also through the power of my silence. No, I do not spend my days in total quiet, not speaking to anyone, not watching television, not surfing the internet, or not having any external contact. No, I train my mind not to get lost in the minutia that pulls me from the moment. I learn from the times that I am overwhelmed by the uncertainty int he world.

As I ride the waves, I gain a new perspective. That silence, well, it quiets the chaos in my mind. I see, with all my senses, more clearly. And, I can choose to respond or, in moments of reaction, choose how to shift and minimize the impact of my reactions.

So, what do we do? We wake up. This means that we accept that while the world will always have uncertainty, the only way to ride the external chaotic waves is to calm the waves within.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating those scary places. The result? Creating a blue print for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Friction Burns On Your Soul

The more you hold on to what was, the slippery it becomes. In a surprising moment it will slide free of your clinging grasp. Detached, you plunge into change.

How many times have you held on to something long past the time it brought you peace and balance? This could be a job that no longer suited, a relationship grinding to a slow halt, or a situation that just doesn’t fit anymore. Instead of letting whatever go, you gripped more and more tightly.

You might have found that the situation, the relationship, the job, whatever you clinged to got slipperier and slipperier until it eventually slid from your grip. As it slipped out of your life, perhaps you got a friction burn on your soul. I bet that it hurt more than you ever thought letting go would.

Letting go is one of the toughest things that I have ever done. Perhaps you can say the same. I remember a relationship that I continued to contort myself to fit. Intuitively I knew that no matter how much of a pretzel I made myself into, my contortions would never be enough. My clinging behavior wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t stop holding so tight.

Eventually the relationship slipped from my grasp. And, yeah, I had friction burns along my soul. Those took a long time to heal. This experience is not one I’d like to have again any time soon.

In retrospect there were many signs that I had convinced myself that the frayed rope of that relationship was repairable. I was wrong. Only later did I realize that it wasn’t the relationship that I couldn’t let go of — it was the fantasy, the illusion that I had created about this “perfect” man I was lucky to spend the rest of my life with.

I wonder how many things, people, or situations we cling to not because of what they are authentically but because of the fantasy or illusion we create about them. How many friction burns on our soul could we avoid if we were just honest with our self? Probably a lot.

So, what do you do?

Ask the tough question — “What am I clinging to?”
Listen to the answer. Name it. The naming can be a general statement or provide greater clarity about the situation.
Dig deeper into your clinging with the question “Why am I holding on?” Answering that why gets you closer to identifying the underlying fantasy, the illusion that wraps so tightly around you that your reasons for holding on are obscured.
Then ask, “What will my life look like when I let go and free fall into peace and balance?” Paint a picture with images, words — put your thoughts and emotions into it!

This practice helps you gain perspective. Maybe you find a way to let go of what is fed by the fantasy, the illusion, while still being in the situation. With new perspective your grip loosens. Instead of being attached or detached, you become nonattached. Within the non-attachment, you find balance and peace.

Or, you realize it is time, without drama, without angst, to let go. You free fall into a new way of being. With the decision to be nonattached you create the path to a soft landing in a place of peace and balance.

I’ve discovered that when I don’t let go, the plunge into change can be a slippery ride down the slope of illusion and fantasy. When I let go my free fall becomes a controlled glide into the new, a place of balance and peace.

Life is about letting go of the fantasy, the illusion. It is about trusting that your free fall into change will be peaceful. It is about your letting go, your choice.

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

simply beautiful, fierce, & wild

Life is experienced in the moment. It is a journey not spent scurrying from here to there but taken relishing each step along the way. To live simply, beautifully, fiercely, and wild is an experience of taking time, of noticing, of be-ing.

When we are truly present, we notice what is causing imbalance in our life. We name what pulls us from the here and now. In those moments, the worry, the frustration, the fear leach from our being. Any tunnel vision widens until we gain a new perspective. It’s not that the worry, frustration, and fear just magically disappear; no, through our awareness their hold on us loosens.

What does it mean to be in the moment? For me, being in the moment is about where I place my awareness. I notice what is happening —

What is going on physically in my body as well as what is happening in the natural and human made worlds.
How my emotions are speaking. I listen to the conversation happening in my body, my mind, my heart. I attend to how the dialogue impacts my body and inform my mind.
What is going on internally: how is my mind noticing words, images, sensations. What judgments, assumptions leap from that noticing. How I am prepared to respond/react?
How my spirit weaves through the other aspects of my being. Where the sacred is present in each moment.

As you can see, being is the moment encompasses all four aspects of our being. When we fully engage with our body/mind/spirit/heart, we do not have the energy to explore the past or leap into the future. We live fully in the present recognizing that there is a lot going on in each evolving moment.

For me, when I focus in the present, I discover the roots of my worry, my frustration, my fear. Through reflection and introspection, I better understand why and how I get pulled from the moment. I better understand how my triggers can explode into reactions. I see avenues to neutralizing triggers and responding.

The moment is a place of external and internal understanding. I know at a soul level that the imperfections and resulting behaviors of another have nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. And, I can own my imperfections in ways that channel my energy away from reaction into gentle response. In this understanding I can resolve to be simply me.

Life is simply a moment by moment journey through the beautiful, fierce wild. I can approach each tangle with fatigue or with curiosity. With curiosity, the tangle becomes an intricate weave of opportunity. An opportunity that gifts me with the resources I need to navigate fully, completely to my sacred core.

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Resilience: Because Change is HARD

Resilience. How flexible and open to change are you? As I slip from one year into the next, I am increasingly more aware of, well, how stuck in my ways I can be — how resistive I am to change because change is HARD.

But, then, that not-so-little voice inside of me asks, “Are you ready to atrophy?” I shudder. Then it reminds me, “You’ve seen people who are stuck in their ways. Heck, you’ve even bee stuck in your ways too many times to count. Do you want to be the person who stubbornly clings to what isn’t working because you are afraid of change?” Yeah, that voice can be harsh at times.

So, I scoff, “Of course not.” Honestly? It is all too easy to be that person who stubbornly clings to what it. I can convince myself that to move to the rhythm of change is just too hard. Sometimes, more than I want to admit, I am resistive to change. This resistance is born from the fear of what if.

An amazing thing happened. One day I woke up. I noticed how I was getting stuck in the mundane, the rout. I noticed that while I wasn’t particularly happy, my emotional state was not enough to jar me into a change. To take those chances that would bring me into a new way. To be flexible, resilient.

Then not-so-little things happened. When I didn’t exercise, I notices how stiff I was. When I read only fiction, I noticed how difficult it was for me to identify logical patterns. And, when I became a hermit, I noticed how difficult it was for me to meaningfully engage others. My conclusion? These activities contributed to a lack of resilience. Too stuck in my ways, I had become inflexible.

I realized how my lack of resilience was impacting the whole of my life. I hadn’t just isolated parts of myself — body, mind, spirit, and emotions. My inflexibility impacted the whole shebang. I recognized that if I continued on this path of rigidity what my future would hold. Peering into the future I saw the the possibility of my life look like in five months or five years if I refused to even contemplate change.

As my awareness increased, I began to notice how I reacted to anyone who suggested change. I identified my resistance. Next, I trained myself to notice how my body reacted to potential change, what flitted across my mind, and what emotions were roused. I noticed what was likely to shut me down.

Next, I reminded myself to identify the fear, the uneasy, the uncertainty. To breathe through my resistance. And, I learned to say to myself, “tell me more.” The more often was enough to untangle the inflexibility and feed my resilience.

From this mindfulness practice I shifted from being stuck in what was to being open to possibility. I discovered that while I do not always say yes, I am resilient as I dig into my no — to discover if I am resistive to change or if my intuition is saying, “tread lightly.”

Maybe I am not as resilient as I would like to be, but I am now able to use my wisdom to choose which change I will integrate in my life and which is not possible in the moment. That is the power of my resilient heart.

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

You. Are. Loved.

I. Am. Loved. Say those words. Let them flow over your being. Feel them sink into your soul. Allow them to resonate in your body.

I. Am. Loved. Let the sweet nectar of those words flavor burst inside of your. Breathe in the wonder, the joy, the grace of those words. Awaken to the beauty at your core.

I. Am. Loved. Believe it. Be it. Know it without a doubt.

Doesn’t it feel wonderful to know — to feel in the marrow of your being that you are loved? I know that when I feel loved, the world shifts. It becomes brighter. I feel lighter. And, I admit that accepting that knowing is one of the most difficult things that I do. Sometimes it is hard to really believe that I am loved with that intensity. That I am loved unconditionally.

Maybe you are one of the lucky ones who has never experienced that moment of doubt about being. Maybe you have always recognized the love that surrounds you. Maybe you have always known deep at your core that being loved is a right not a privilege. If so, can you teach us how to make the leap across the chasm of self doubt into self acceptance?

Because with self acceptance come possibility. We recognize that all things are possible with love. So, when love wraps me in her warm embrace and I hug her back, the struggles aren’t so tough. In fact, they fall away. I not only have a place in the world, but love reminds me that most of all, I belong to myself. Love reminds me that I am worthy and incredible things are waiting for me to accept them. With love I take my place in this world of enough.

I. Am. Loved. Three radical words that bring with them self acceptance. That are the light that brings you ever closer to recognizing that you am not becoming anything. You am exactly who you need to be in this moment. And, that is awesome.