Resilience: Because Change is HARD

Resilience. How flexible and open to change are you? As I slip from one year  into the next, I am increasingly more aware of, well, how stuck in my ways I can be — how resistive I am to change because change is HARD. 

But, then, that not-so-little voice inside of me asks, “Are you ready to atrophy?” I shudder. Then it reminds me, “You’ve seen people who are stuck in their ways. Heck, you’ve even bee stuck in your ways too many times to count. Do you want to be the person who stubbornly clings to what isn’t working because you are afraid of change?” Yeah, that voice can be harsh at times. 

So, I scoff, “Of course not.” Honestly? It is all too easy to be that person who stubbornly clings to what it. I can convince myself that to move to the rhythm of change is just too hard. Sometimes, more than I want to admit, I am resistive to change. This resistance is born from the fear of what if. 

An amazing thing happened. One day I woke up. I noticed how I was getting stuck in the mundane, the rout. I noticed that while I wasn’t particularly happy, my emotional state was not enough to jar me into a change. To take those chances that would bring me into a new way. To be flexible, resilient.

Then not-so-little things happened. When I didn’t exercise, I notices how stiff I was. When I read only fiction, I noticed how difficult it was for me to identify logical patterns. And, when I became a hermit, I noticed how difficult it was for me to meaningfully engage others. My conclusion? These activities contributed to a lack of resilience. Too stuck in my ways, I had become inflexible.

I realized how my lack of resilience was impacting the whole of my life. I hadn’t just isolated parts of myself — body, mind, spirit, and emotions. My inflexibility impacted the whole shebang. I recognized that if I continued on this path of rigidity what my future would hold. Peering into the future I saw the the possibility of my life look like in five months or five years if I refused to even contemplate change.

As my awareness increased, I began to notice how I reacted to anyone who suggested change. I identified my resistance. Next, I trained myself to notice how my body reacted to potential change, what flitted across my mind, and what emotions were roused. I noticed what was likely to shut me down. 

Next, I reminded myself to identify the fear, the uneasy, the uncertainty. To breathe through my resistance. And, I learned to say to myself, “tell me more.” The more often was enough to untangle the inflexibility and feed my resilience.

From this mindfulness practice I shifted from being stuck in what was to being open to possibility. I discovered that while I do not always say yes, I am resilient as I  dig into my no — to discover if I am resistive to change or if my intuition is saying, “tread lightly.” 

Maybe I am not as resilient as I would like to be, but I am now able to use my wisdom to choose which change I will integrate in my  life and which is not possible in the moment. That is the power of my resilient heart.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating those scary places. The result? Creating a blue print for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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