Being the Gift of Small Things, Blessings, and Beauty

Have you ever wondered about the secret to happiness? What is the key to feeling that deep contentment that seeps into your bones and flows into the world when you are happy?  Once that happiness is cultivated, it becomes a gift you give to yourself and share with others over and over again. 

But, how do we cultivate this gift within our self? 

Let’s begin with what happiness is…and is not. Happiness is not the absence of fear or frustration or sorrow. Happiness is the way we approach emotions and circumstances that threaten to flood us with a tsunami of hopelessness. Happiness is not a fleeting emotion; it is a way of life — a state of well being and contentment.

2020 has seemed like a decade of uncertainty and challenge instead of twelve months. If you are like me, it was a year filled with many opportunities to either get trapped in the uncertainty or rise to the challenge. As I reflect upon the year, I am amazed at everything that has occurred. I cannot believe how much my life, the life of my son, the lives of friends and colleagues have changed. Unfortunately not all this change is for the better. 

These changes provided ample opportunity for the reframe. And, while I admit that I am a master re-framer — able to see the good, the potential in most situations — I have my moments of despair this year. During this year, I’ve even questioned if I have ever been happy and what happy looks like. So, this year has provided the ultimate reframe!

In this ultimate reframe, there are so many opportunities to create a way of life that is filled with contentment. By contentment I mean being grateful for what we have, acknowledging our blessings, and finding ways to expand the beauty of our lives.

Okay. Don’t get anxious. Breathe. This task is not such a tall order when we reframe in little bits. What if we begin by accepting that happiness is rooted in being content and satisfied with an edge. This is not the satisfaction of complacency but the edgy satisfaction that comes from being content in the moment while setting goals and moving toward them. It is about being grateful for the good in your life while continuing to strive toward your dreams. 

How do you get there? Start with the little things!

• Acknowledge the small things in your life — or those things that are working.
• Acknowledge the blessings — those are the things that tip the scales in your favor or show you the glint of the silver lining.
• Find at least one way, each day, to expand the beauty in your life. 

Let’s move into the tangible with some examples from my life? 

• The small things: even through the upheaval of the year and the loss of several income streams, I have a part time job that pays most of my bills. 
• The blessings: my relationship with my son, the listening ears of friends.
• Expanded beauty: the daily reflections arcs that I share on Facebook. These are a way to start my day and share that beauty with others.

Now you do it! What are the small things, the blessings, the expanding beauty in your life? I am not saying that this activity is always easy. Sometimes we’ve got to dig into who we are to discover the small things, the blessings, and the beauty within. And, through this acknowledgement we are the gift with share first with our self and then with the world. 

Here’s to being the gift of rolling moments of small things, blessings, and beauty in 2021.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Resolution Free Zone

Darkness drapes me in her fragrant embrace. My heart beats wildly. What lurks in the dark? And, is something slithering across me or is it the breeze blowing through the cracks in my soul? I do not know. 

The tempo of my heart increases. Instead of being carried into the place of fear, I remind myself to breathe: Inhale. Listen. Exhale. Let go. Reminding myself that I am safe, I inhale and exhale over and over again until I connect to the courage sparking from my soul. 

Today as I celebrate the winter solstice, I find myself wanting to leap across this dark chasm into 2021…perhaps I will forego the winter and land smack dab in the middle of March. Three months into 2021, the dark will be no longer and the tiny stems of my being will be preparing to shoot from the ground of my being into the newness of me. 

Then logic, and the fact that I do not own a time machine, kick in. I must live through the dark carefully sifting through what seeds to nurture and which to toss into the compost pile. This next year, 2021, is unlike any other (but aren’t they all?). This is the big 6-0 for me. I find myself reflecting upon how I want to nurture myself into being over the next nine months. This is not so much a resolution for me but a commitment to living from my core. 

A commitment from the core. What does that even mean? And, how is it different from a New Year’s resolution? For me, this commitment is a call to look past the superficials like “I want to lose weight” or “I want to exercise more” to how I really need to live. So I dig furrows into the whys of the change I need to plant within my soul. 

This change means letting go of habits that no longer serve me (us). The reason why we develop those habits we yearn to restructure is a complex one for sure. I am not a therapist who can unravel the reason or reasons why habits develop and are sustained. Instead, I am a mentor who can pose questions, listen to your responses, and help you become your best self. Evolving into your best self means working with those slithering things in the dark and navigating the dark with your intuition. (This year I am going to be my best client!)

So, how de we get to our best self? Let me share one of my favorite, most powerful tools: journaling. I am a big journaler. As I write, the emotions that I experience leach from my pen onto the paper. As the page fills, I empty myself until I am objective enough to really look at the events unfolding in my life. This means that I am less attached to my reactions, more aware of my judgments, and not so defensive about what I am writing about. In my objectivity I can see clearly see my triggers and the resulting implosions. I learn how to navigate the minefield of triggers. It is in this navigation that I shift happens and become the real me. 

By journaling, I own who I am even when I slip and fall. After I acknowledge my imperfections, I breathe deeply into the calm. The whispers of self-compassion caress my woundedness. I commit to a somatic memory the feelings that led up to that flipped trigger. I immerse myself in self care/self-compassion/self love. 

After my journal processing, I re-enter my life with a new awareness. I attend to my body, mind, and heart alert to what tatters the the threads of my spirit. These spirit threads weave through my body, mind, and heart connecting all four aspects of self. Those spirit threads are what makes me real. (They makes you real, too.) Once real, I can make choices to neutralize any triggers and be myself regardless of what slithers in the dark or reflects brightly in the light. 

Unfortunately, this commitment to being me isn’t lived on a straight line from now to then. I am quite sure that the next nine months or so will see a detour or twelve. But, this year, I will not have resolutions. I am committed to planting me deep within the dark, fertile soil of my soul and attending to the whispers of dark that slither within me making room for me to grow.

How about you? How do you become objective about your life? What are you committing to in 2021? 

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020 /

Connecting to Your Most Magical Mindful Self (Recouping After A Difficult Conversation)

A magical mindfulness formula for difficult conversations. Did you read that blog? Better yet, did you practice the formula? (If you missed the blog, it is available here.) Are you ready to take the next magical mindful step? Let’s dive deeper into mindfulness for recouping after a difficult conversation.

As soon as I can after a difficult conversation, I spend some time debriefing and defusing. By debriefing I mean that I get dig into how I reacted during the conversation. By defusing, I mean that I allow all the residual gunk — thoughts, emotions, physical sensations — to leach from my system. How do I debrief and defuse? I begin by recognizing that I view the world through a unique lens. Naming that lens helps me understand the why and how of how an interaction went the way that it did. 

Maybe you are saying, but, Van, I’m not sure I need to know all that. And, isn’t debriefing and defusing a lot of work? I would say that yes, it is work, but we all need to know what flips our triggers. I mean, if we don’t know why we did what we did, then we will flip the same triggers over and over again. We will never grow past our reactions. And, life is about meeting challenges and learning our life lessons no matter how difficult or exasperating the situation we find our self in. It is about shifting from reaction to response. How else do we live our soul purpose? 

So, here’s another bootcamp blog lesson. Our reality is viewed from a specific lens that are our judgments and assumptions. If you don’t know how you form the lens or what filters you have in place, you never really know if the world is just an elaborate illusion or if what you see is what truly is. That is the why of debriefing and defusing.

Dr. Chris Srgyris has a tool that I use. It is called the ladder of inference. (Here is a video on the Ladder.)  He postulated that our responses and reactions are based upon our beliefs. So, let’s dive into those. 

Think about a recent interaction. It doesn’t need to be one that exploded. It can be a gentle memory that impacted you. Choose an interaction that feels important to you. Sit quietly. Breathe into your center. Get it touch with the memory.

• How were you most impacted by the memory? It could be a physical sensation, a thought, an emotions. Perhaps it is a combination of the three. Create a multi-sensory image of how you were impacted. 
• Why were you impacted by the happening? Identify what triggered you. Name the triggers. (Please note that a triggering is not always negative. They can bring us to joy or happiness.) Name the why using 3-5 descriptors (typically adjectives.)
• Ask yourself what belief those 3-5 words represent. That is the belief, the truth, that brought you to your response/reaction.
• Reflect: how does this belief color your world?
• Introspect: does the belief need to shift or is it part of your truth? 
• The final step: return to that memory and has it impacted hour body. Set a timer for 3 minutes. During that time objectively feel the memory. Don’t cling to it. Let it go. Create a calm in place of the memory. That is the defusing of the trigger. 

Use the information received when you navigate another difficult conversation. In this way you reconnect with your truth and show up as your best, most authentic self no matter how difficult the situation you find yourself in. 

Here’s to showing up as our most magical, mindful self this season and beyond!

 Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

A Magical Mindfulness Formula For Difficult Conversations

Communication + the Holidays. Right about now you may be wishing that you had brushed up on your communication skills. Picture this: you are at a holiday gathering and get into a conversation with someone doesn’t have the same beliefs that you do. How do you respond to one more alternative fact? 

Maybe you get frustrated and are on the verge of saying something rash. Logically, you know that is not the answer. What is the magic formula to not escalating a difficult situation? Instead of forming a reactionary reply, focus on yourself. This isn’t so hard once you follow a magical mindfulness formula.

Yes, you heard me right. The magic begins with a focus on you. Now, this isn’t about falling into a fantasy world where only you exist. It is about listening objectively to what another is saying while noticing the impact that their words have on you. Trust me, this is not as easy as it sounds. While with practice you don’t become perfect, your ability to navigate difficult conversations become permanent.

There isn’t time to take a six-week course on compassionate listening. This is a bootcamp blog: you learn a simple technique that takes the focus off the words of another and puts it onto the emotions triggered inside of you during a conversation. In this heightened state of awareness, you notice how you are getting caught by the words and body language of another. 

With this knowledge of your triggers, you can slip from a state of high anxiety into a place of calm understanding. You are better able to traverse the minefield of reactions into the calm peace of response. Let’s bootcamp the simple steps: 

1. Center and anchor yourself. A simple way to do this is to walk coordinating the steps to your breath. Inhale as your roll your right foot heel to toe. Exhale as you roll you left foot heel to toe. As you walk connecting breath to movement, affirm your intent to be aware of your reactions to potential triggers. (I do this as I walk from car to front door of a gathering.)

2. During a conversation, play attention with your full body. This means listening with all of your senses and checking in with your body, mind, and emotions. Ask yourself: “Is my body tense or relaxed? What is my internal monologue saying? What is my emotional temperature? What is my body, my mind, and ,y emotions telling me?” This is fact finding  — noticing the mines in the conversation field and how they may trigger your reactions.

3. Objectively use information that you have received about how the conversation is impacting you. Maybe you are able to offer objective comments about the topic. Or, perhaps your body, mind, and spirit are shouting at you: “I am being triggered. I cannot maintain neutral. TIME TO GO!” When you feel that an outburst or meltdown is eminent, stop listening to the conversation. Return to your breath. Feel it flow through your body relaxing away tension. Let it soothe any ruffled emotions. Calm your thoughts. Connect more fully to your core. When you are ready, compassionately end the conversation. (For example, you can say, “It was great talking with you. I want to catch up with [insert name]. Thanks again! Have a terrific holiday.)

Remember, you cannot stop the words or actions of another. You can stop your reactions to them. Defuse the ticking time bomb by focusing on your breath. This gives you the energy to show up as your best self. 

One last thought: come up with an exit strategy when entering a minefield. You may need to leave the gathering all together. That is perfectly okay. Remember, this is about taking care of you by creating an oasis of calm that you can call upon whenever you find yourself triggered. When you have control over you, there is less of an opportunity to be emotionally hijacked. And, while not perfect, your practice of taking care of you becomes permanent. 

Life is all about you. The only way you can help others is by first helping yourself. 

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020 / 

The Secret of a Life Well-Lived

The sun rises. The sun sets. Then sun rises again. In the between we live moment by moment. But, how aware are we of these moments? If you are like me, instead of relishing some of those moments, you skip ahead yearning to be anything but in those moments. 

Each moment is as important as the next. Life is to be lived within each moment — within the mundane. Within those small seemingly inconsequential moments, we find meaning. Sometimes we do not recognize their importance until we are well down into the path into another moment. How do we stop jumping ahead? How do we stay focused on the here and now? The secret to life well-lived is to take nothing for granted while expecting that each moment holds a gift. That gift is the extraordinary. 

Songs have been sung and poems written about the extraordinary that is hidden within the mundane. Only when we shift our awareness to focusing on the moment does the gift  of the extraordinary rise from the moment into our consciousness. For example: I had a difficult day and scurried from moment to moment not really being present. Sliding out of my car, I saw a father trying to get a kite airborne. The problem? There was no wind. His daughter, dressed as a princess, was encouraging-chastising her father. 

Drawn into the moment, I smiled at the daughter and gave words of encouragement to the father. With those actions, the tiredness, the disappointment of the day melted away. With a shift in perspective, I noticed the other pieces of the extraordinary shining through the mundane. Squirrels playing tag, birds chirping, leaves swirling — I engaged the wonder around me through my connection to strangers, to nature, and ultimately to myself. Through the sacred-extraordinary I was energized. 

One of two things can happen after we connect to the moment. We can intentionally create a somatic memory of that moment thus planting seeds of joy and awe into our being. Or, unaware, we can allow the moment to fade from our being. The latter creates a fond yet disconnected memory that is easily forgotten. Unanchored, we fall from the moment.

The former empowers our transformation. The seeds of the extraordinary that have lain dormant in the mundane are ignited through our awareness. Within this spark of awareness we experience the aha of epiphany. We recognize the potential of each moment, and we act upon that potential. Present to the world around us, we no longer underestimate the potential that exists in each and every moment.

So, ask yourself, how will I live? How will I engage in each moment? The answers lay in how you meet each moment. That answer is the secret to a life well-lived. 

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / @fyrserpent / ©2020

Tagore’s Bird & Messages in the Rain

Sometimes we need to know we won’t languish in the dark forever; that the dawn is coming.

We need only to listen to our intuition to take the next step.

Tagore’s Bird & Messages in the Rain

It’s raining. I can hear the splattering — not a rumbling  that brings me into alert awareness but a gentle nudge urging me to pay attention. Of course, this rain is not hard enough to wash away the grunge of the past days. It is a pattering that dampens the landscape. Peering into the dark, I look at the rain drenched wonder with new eyes.  

My eyes alight on a soggy piles of autumn leaves. I imagine that in the morning the sun will beam its splendor on those leaves. I imagine the lumpy, wet pile of leaves transformed into a glittering wetness of many colors that fill my nose with the earthy smell of change. For now, that pile of leaves is shrouded in shadows for the moon is hidden by heavy clouds.  But, the night will not last forever. The world, and I will see the light again. 

Tonight I cannot see through the shadows cast. I can only feel the tears raining down upon a grieving world. I can only trust that the grime of grief is being washed away splatter by rain splatter. The rain and tomorrow’s sun will sing the day into being. I live in anticipation of the sun that casts a newness, a hope, upon the world. As I listen, I hear the words that invite me to shed my old, tired being and give birth to the light that shines within. Within this light is a spark of hope.

In this moment I am not yet Tagore’s bird, for the dawn is still elusive and I cannot muster the energy to sing my song. But, I can use the light within to find my way from here to there as the drip, drip, drip calls out to me. Trust. Hope. Know. Come. Curious I know not what I will find as I take daring step upon daring step, but my song sings courage. I cannot, will not ignore the call to be, once more, myself. 

No matter how dark, no matter how rainy, life is in the exploration. So, it doesn’t matter if I cannot sing knowing the sun will shine once more. What matters is that I do not give up. What matters is that I ignite my fierce spark of daring, of courage, of truth within me. 

So, for tonight, I wonder at the message of the rain. I know that the message is important. How could I not be so earnestly drawn to something unless it holds a message for me? So, I trust. Perhaps after all, I am that bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. For I listen to the rain whispering. It says to me, “sometimes you cannot wash away everything and start anew. Sometimes it is about gaining a new perspective, finding your bearings, and journeying into another day.” 

Wishing you a bit of Tagore’s bird and messages in the rain.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Are We There Yet: Mindfulness & The Waning Months of 2020

Will this road trip of 2020 ever end? & what can we do during the wanting months? Watch this week's I&A vlog!

Are We There Yet?

Have you ever taken a longish journey with a child? Before setting out, you put stuff  every distraction imaginable into the backseat with them. Then, you cruise along dreading the inevitable. Waiting to hear those four words: “Are we there yet?” 

If you are like me at this point in 2020, you feel like that small child wondering if we will every put this year behind us and get to the destination — 2021. You may even be hopeful and excited about what the new year will bring. I know that I am. But, there have been silver linings in 2020. It has been filled with lots of intuitive messages and plenty of distractions. I still cannot wait to stretch my legs into the hope that 2021 brings. 

Again, if you are like me, that last stretch of the journey is what proves most daunting. I am fatigued. Most of my friends, colleagues, and clients are too. I find myself wondering if I can muster the strength, the energy, the hope to make it through these last waning weeks. Then I remind myself that the journey is undertaken mile ma
rker by mile marker. Mindfulness techniques, contemplative practice, and intuitive understanding pave the way through this waning year into the waxing next. The key? Living in awareness in order to recognize the impact of each moment.

How do we pave the path with mindfulness techniques, contemplative practice, and intuitive understanding? 

• Mindfulness techniques: my go-to technique is focusing on my breath. Through it, I settle into the moment thus increasing my awareness of this stretch of the road. I connect more fully to my body, hear my thoughts, attend to the impact of my emotions. My breath forges a path where my contemplative spirit flourishes.
• Contemplative practice: for me, there is a blurred area between mindfulness techniques and contemplative practice. When I am contemplative, I focus on the moment. I intentionally travel the final stretch of 2020 attuned to what is occurring. With this awareness, I use my energy wisely and respond. 
• Intuitive understanding: when I am contemplative, the world comes alive in extraordinary ways. I truly experience each step holistically — with my body, mind, spirit, and heart. My senses come alive with the voices of intuition. In the moment, I use these messages to navigate the gateway between now and then.

We need not trudge this last stretch of 2020 exhausted and fearful. Instead, we can mindfully, contemplatively, intuitively journey through our interactions with the internal and external worlds. With this triad of mindfulness, contemplation, and intuition we navigate through the uncertainty and respond to the world. While we might not be “there yet,” we are enjoying the journey through this waning year.

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / @fyrserpent / ©2020

A Day Unlike Any Other

As I look outside, I realize that soon all the leaves will  have transitioned to a carpet of detritus crackling as the squirrels dance through it. But, that is soon — not today. Today is a day unlike any other. It has never been before and shall never be repeated. In this knowing is a letting go. Today is a letting go that lays bare what was and invites us into deep contemplation of what truly is. 

What is true for you? Sometimes we spend so much time chasing the illusive that we lose sight of who we are in the moment on this unfolding journey. As a friend told me — we’ve got to stop chasing the next shiny thing and be who we are. In the chasing we fail to realize that shiny thing may be what we want but not what we need. It is not a reflection of who we are; it is an illusion of how we want things to be.

Letting go creates this wide, wondrous, expansive space of exploration. Within it we are free — that thing, that person, that situation no longer hauntingly clings to us. Breathing into this space stirs motes of possibility. In deep reflection we notice how our divine sparks glint off these motes. Through discernment, we choose which motes to make our own.

To separate the shiny things and the motes of possibility by letting go takes courage and resolve — both fuel discernment or decision making through deep contemplation. Discernment is a heart-head activity the integrates reflection with introspection. We dive deep into who we are — our beliefs, motives, judgments, agendas — and in this knowing, step more fully, more firmly into who we are. 

Letting go is an outward expression of non-attachment. But, we don’t stop there. In addition to being nonattached, we reflect without judging or defending. We recognize that life is not a rigid road that takes us from here to there. Life is organic and evolving. It grows even when we are not paying attention. Though discernment we trace its course and decide our next steps. We open to what is occurring.

We create a wonderland by letting go. Here we have the courage to face our fears and the resolve to discover our path step by step. That is what is important. There are so many possibilities out there. How many of them look great on paper but just don’t resonate with us? Unless we let go, we are unable to truly discern what is really possible and what is wishful thinking. 

Today is a day unlike any other. In this moment what do you choose to let go? How is that letting  go instrumental to moving forward? 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / @fyrserpent / ©2020

 

Real Beliefs, Shadow Beliefs: Growing In the Garden of You

Beliefs are curious things. They speak to us from the depths of our being . Each whispering is a reflection of who we are. They provide limitless opportunities to share the truth within. Each belief is a stone in the foundation of how we engage others.

I don’t know about you, but these past several years have given me ample opportunities to survey my foundation. To name what I believe — to rejoice in what is truly me and confront those shadows that tangle deep inside me. I recognize that these tangles are not who I am. Instead, they provide the arena to unravel the shadows. Once free of the tangles I can truly live my true story.

Once in a class longer ago than I like to admit, I told the participants that only when I am embarrassed by an action stemming from a shadow belief, do I have the energy and courage to change. The response was a tittering of unease. But, think about it. What happens when you really own the truth? Who we are is birthed by being uncomfortable enough to change. 

Let that sink into the depth of your core. Then ask yourself, “When was I so uncomfortable that change was inevitable?” Name the shadow belief that was too tight, too raw, so totally not you that it left you gasping for breath. What did you do? Invite change or hide within its shadows?

Now, I am not a proponent of running through the streets shouting my sins — I mean fallibilities. I am not that public. No, I am the quiet sort who turns within and experiences the stuff seeping from my core. Through reflection and introspection, I listen to the lessons of the seepage. Then I use the resulting compost to nourish my truth. The rest of the compost I toss into a communal bin to be used at later time. 

The benefit of the last four years, and I am all about the reframe, is the number of opportunities I have had to dig up the ground of me, to pull up those invasive shadow beliefs, and plant seeds of who I am. I hope you have had the opportunities to do the same. 

What have I discovered in this process? The work is not in the harvest but in the nurturing of these seed beliefs. So, in this moment I ask, “What invasive beliefs am I ready to pull out? What do I truly believe?” Within those  answers is found the stuff — the compost and the seeds to grow the garden of you. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Who is the Enemy?

I admit that the word enemy makes me really nervous. Sure I have people in my life that I have perceived to be antagonistic and seeking to cause me harm (the definition of an enemy). But, can we really know the motives of another? I wonder if those people were truly an enemy or if there was something deeper, something more insidious festering within them that caused their reactions. It was probably the latter.

A comment said to me this morning triggered a re-awakening in me. I was reminded that our actions are based upon our beliefs, assumptions, and judgments. Unaware, we get tangled in them. We react. Then someone we have labeled as an enemy reacts to our reaction. Or vice versa. The tangle gets tighter, more knotted. We are no longer seeing the other person as a person. Instead we other them. It is easier to see an “other” as the enemy.

For me, the enemy is not the other person but ignorance — I am sure we can all admit to being ignorant a time or two. Ignorance manifests in reactions that come from a lack of knowledge, education, or awareness. And, honestly? We all find our self there at some point. But, that is an intellectualization. Let’s dive into the reality — the lived experience of the enemy called ignorance.

Recall a time when someone disagreed with you. A time when their views and beliefs resulted in actions that were harmful or hurtful to you. Let’s reframe the situation: they are not the enemy. The actions that stem from their ignorance are. And, the root cause of that behavior is the enemy, too.

Being proactive, you may give them a whole barrage of information in an effort to change their mind. You give them facts about why you are right and they are wrong. Does it work? Maybe. Probably not. By the way: I’ve also tried to point out inconsistencies in the belief of another. Not sure that I’d recommend it. The conversation either devolves or ends abruptly. 

So, what do you do? How do you approach the so-called enemy? You turn within. One of the best questions that I have ever asked myself is, “Why do I believe what I believe?” I really dig into the answer. I suggest that you do, too. When I am actively engaged in uncovering the answer,  I find a belief that is part of the solid foundation that my life sits upon. 

Other times, when I am knee deep in “I don’t know that I don’t know,” I discover the belief is one of the minute cracks in my foundation. This recognition presents opportunity. We can evaluate the belief to reform it or even toss it out. During this process we remember that the purpose of this life is to gain wisdom while evolving into our truest self. We can’t do that without going down a rabbit hole or two.

That is the internal. Let’s go to the external where we identify and respond to the so-called enemy. In what ways did you identify with the enemy? Did you get into a heated discussion about who was right…and who was wrong? If you did, you might have slipped into down the rabbit hole into the land of futility. Instead of seeing the person as the enemy, look at the ignorance or conditioning that created their belief system. That is truly the enemy. 

How might you raise awareness of how these beliefs and a lack of awareness and understanding, are suffering producers? Reframing the enemy to a producer of suffering is huge. It is the initial phase of a response that countermands ignorance. How do we continue to respond to ignorance with wisdom?

• When someone calls you a name, do not react. Take action in ways that are not violent. For example, I once had someone call me a name when I was working. Instead of addressing the slur, I called security.
• Practice nonviolence. Become what I call a blank wall when being insulted. Take yourself out of the situation. Remove yourself physically if necessary.
• Find ways to subtly educate. Take opportunities, use examples that makes real the suffering inherent in a belief. 
• Repair the fissures in any social control systems or work to create new systems. Be a part of community.
• Vote. ‘nough said.
• No matter what, do not let yourself be gaslighted. Reflect upon the words and actions of another. You do not have to accept another’s view as your own. 

Know that whatever you do, when you look past the superficiality of naming a person or a group as an enemy and dig deeper into the ignorance that is the enemy, you will be given the strength, the energy, the determination to battle the enemy with awareness. Through your awareness you change the world by changing yourself.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / @fyrserpent / ©2020 

The Key that Unlocks the Door to Yourself: The Video

Be the Key that Unlocks the Door to Yourself

What if I told you that all your answers are within you? What if you had the power to access those answers and harness their power to create a wave of transformation? What would you do? Would you rise to the challenge of self discovery or say tomorrow is soon enough knowing that tomorrow may never come?

Well you do have the answers inside of you but there is one big catch. You have to become the key that unlocks those answers. Seldom does the key we become unlock every door without a bit a jiggling! And, sometimes those doors don’t stay open. Unlocking the door and keeping it open takes practice. We are not aiming for a practice that makes perfect; rather, we practice in ways that create a permanent connection to our inner wisdom.

Inner wisdom. Intuition. That is the key we hold. Our ability to unlock those messages is strengthened by self compassion. Both self compassion and accessing our intuition are possible through mindfulness and living contemplatively. Let’s look at each of these four aspects to being that key that turns the lock of the door of transformation.

Let’s break it down. 

• Mindfulness is being in the moment. 
• Being contemplative is focusing our attention on the many ways the extraordinary manifests in our life.
• Self compassion manifests in conscious acts that alleviate our personal suffering. 
• Intuition is our internal guidance system.

The four combined create a powerful synchronicity in our life. Through them we sustain an inner calm where the bubbles of intuition float to the surface.  We gain clarity to hear the message and have the courage to act upon it. 

What stops us from connecting to our life guide? Fatigue is our greatest foe. It is almost impossible to stay in the moment when we are exhausted. Through self compassion we engage in activities that re-energize us. Energized we return to our core. At the core, we begin anew. Refreshed, it is easier to slip into the moment and stay there. Our senses come alive; we align with the extraordinary. Instead of being bombarded by the constant chaos, our attention seemingly self-focuses.

So, what act of self compassion can you do? Whatever you choose, take a moment to acknowledge your suffering. Be objective about the messiness you are experiencing. Be in a place of no attachment, no judgment, no defending, no violence. Acknowledge how you are being impacted as the messiness rolls over you again and again. Be gentle with yourself — that is the foundation of any self compassionate act.

Next, ask yourself, what can I do in this moment to care for me? Maybe it is going for a walk. Reading. Journaling. Creating art. Taking a long bath. Reaching out to a friend. Self compassion is anything that alleviates even a bit of your exhaustion and gives you the strength to try one more time. 

Within moments of compassionate respite, you rest in the eye of the storm and begin to notice those bubbles of intuition rising to the surface of your consciousness. As they pop, their messages splatter you with particles of possibility. Message received and decoded, you act upon intuition’s voice. This is the cycle of increasing our intuition with self compassion. The more you listen, the more you recognize how you are depleted. The more acts of self compassion, the greater you energy to connect to your intuition.

Continuing this cycle of self compassion and intuitively listening, the spiral of clarity tightens until you are consistently living contemplatively in the moment as a self compassionate intuitive being. 

Ready. Set. Manifest! Contact me for intuitive mentoring. 

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook /

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020