whenever wherever however: thank you

Gratefulness is seeded in our awareness. Blossoms from intention. Is revealed during reframing. Gratefulness shows up when least expected.

The pure joy of gratitude blossoms without conscious thought or action. Often, I am not sure what seeded this sudden joy-filled thanksgiving. It seems to magically appear…but really it does not. The gratitude blossoming in our interior garden is a result of awareness. 

Gratitude is a celebration. During it, I recognize that my life is beyond blessed by people who show up — my son, furry companions, family, friends, colleagues, and the intimate stranger. It is sparked by the beauty of a sunrise or the playful antics of squirrels. When I focus on the beauty of what is right, the world becomes magically extraordinary.

When I am aware, the effervescence of gratitude shows up everywhere. I pass through a mundane existence into mystery. In this place of magical extraordinary, I am grateful for everything…even what isn’t particularly warm and fuzzy.

At other times, gratitude is elusive. It is easier to focus on what I do not have or what I do not want — the sorrows, the grief, the wants or needs that go unmet. For me, that is when the power of the reframe comes in. 

Through the eyes of my heart and with the wisdom of my soul, I can reframe the thorn on life’s stem. I can move past that pointy thing to see the blossom at the end of the stalk. Through this change in perspective, I see the necessity of the thorn and the blossom. It is in that reframe that gratitude blooms.

For me being grateful is a cultivated way of life. It’s having a heart wide open to possibility. Benedict of Nursia, in his little rule, reminds us to listen with the ear of our heart. For me, listening with my heart is key to recognizing gratitude. My recognition of gratitude is complete when I respond from the wisdom of my soul.

Of course, it is easier to be grateful when life is smooth, calm, easy — to revel in moments of simple joy. But life is not always smooth or calm or easy. Life is uncertain, complicated, messy, and tangled. Even those circumstances are something to be grateful for. I mean, who wants to live without any upheaval? Okay, maybe sometimes that would be nice. 

Then I remember that the upheaval gives us opportunity to flex our gratitude muscle. When I am mindful, I see the tangles more objectively. When I peer closely, the reasons to be grateful sparkle on the tangles. In fact, those sparkles guide me to untangling my life. In the untwining I find a bouquet of blessing with or without the tangles. 

Gratefulness, for me, is found in the reframe. Within a change of perspective, I find the rolling sparkle-seeds of thankfulness. For that discovery to happen, I must be in the moment aware of whatever is percolating; whatever trigger is waiting to be flipped. 

Gratefulness means showing up in those moments when I am not perfect and appreciating the thorns of my imperfections. What is gratefulness for you? 

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating those places may scare us. The result of time with Van? Creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature. 

Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2022

Resolution Free Zone

Darkness drapes me in her fragrant embrace. My heart beats wildly. What lurks in the dark? And, is something slithering across me or is it the breeze blowing through the cracks in my soul? I do not know. 

The tempo of my heart increases. Instead of being carried into the place of fear, I remind myself to breathe: Inhale. Listen. Exhale. Let go. Reminding myself that I am safe, I inhale and exhale over and over again until I connect to the courage sparking from my soul. 

Today as I celebrate the winter solstice, I find myself wanting to leap across this dark chasm into 2021…perhaps I will forego the winter and land smack dab in the middle of March. Three months into 2021, the dark will be no longer and the tiny stems of my being will be preparing to shoot from the ground of my being into the newness of me. 

Then logic, and the fact that I do not own a time machine, kick in. I must live through the dark carefully sifting through what seeds to nurture and which to toss into the compost pile. This next year, 2021, is unlike any other (but aren’t they all?). This is the big 6-0 for me. I find myself reflecting upon how I want to nurture myself into being over the next nine months. This is not so much a resolution for me but a commitment to living from my core. 

A commitment from the core. What does that even mean? And, how is it different from a New Year’s resolution? For me, this commitment is a call to look past the superficials like “I want to lose weight” or “I want to exercise more” to how I really need to live. So I dig furrows into the whys of the change I need to plant within my soul. 

This change means letting go of habits that no longer serve me (us). The reason why we develop those habits we yearn to restructure is a complex one for sure. I am not a therapist who can unravel the reason or reasons why habits develop and are sustained. Instead, I am a mentor who can pose questions, listen to your responses, and help you become your best self. Evolving into your best self means working with those slithering things in the dark and navigating the dark with your intuition. (This year I am going to be my best client!)

So, how de we get to our best self? Let me share one of my favorite, most powerful tools: journaling. I am a big journaler. As I write, the emotions that I experience leach from my pen onto the paper. As the page fills, I empty myself until I am objective enough to really look at the events unfolding in my life. This means that I am less attached to my reactions, more aware of my judgments, and not so defensive about what I am writing about. In my objectivity I can see clearly see my triggers and the resulting implosions. I learn how to navigate the minefield of triggers. It is in this navigation that I shift happens and become the real me. 

By journaling, I own who I am even when I slip and fall. After I acknowledge my imperfections, I breathe deeply into the calm. The whispers of self-compassion caress my woundedness. I commit to a somatic memory the feelings that led up to that flipped trigger. I immerse myself in self care/self-compassion/self love. 

After my journal processing, I re-enter my life with a new awareness. I attend to my body, mind, and heart alert to what tatters the the threads of my spirit. These spirit threads weave through my body, mind, and heart connecting all four aspects of self. Those spirit threads are what makes me real. (They makes you real, too.) Once real, I can make choices to neutralize any triggers and be myself regardless of what slithers in the dark or reflects brightly in the light. 

Unfortunately, this commitment to being me isn’t lived on a straight line from now to then. I am quite sure that the next nine months or so will see a detour or twelve. But, this year, I will not have resolutions. I am committed to planting me deep within the dark, fertile soil of my soul and attending to the whispers of dark that slither within me making room for me to grow.

How about you? How do you become objective about your life? What are you committing to in 2021? 

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020 /

Connecting to Your Most Magical Mindful Self (Recouping After A Difficult Conversation)

A magical mindfulness formula for difficult conversations. Did you read that blog? Better yet, did you practice the formula? (If you missed the blog, it is available here.) Are you ready to take the next magical mindful step? Let’s dive deeper into mindfulness for recouping after a difficult conversation.

As soon as I can after a difficult conversation, I spend some time debriefing and defusing. By debriefing I mean that I get dig into how I reacted during the conversation. By defusing, I mean that I allow all the residual gunk — thoughts, emotions, physical sensations — to leach from my system. How do I debrief and defuse? I begin by recognizing that I view the world through a unique lens. Naming that lens helps me understand the why and how of how an interaction went the way that it did. 

Maybe you are saying, but, Van, I’m not sure I need to know all that. And, isn’t debriefing and defusing a lot of work? I would say that yes, it is work, but we all need to know what flips our triggers. I mean, if we don’t know why we did what we did, then we will flip the same triggers over and over again. We will never grow past our reactions. And, life is about meeting challenges and learning our life lessons no matter how difficult or exasperating the situation we find our self in. It is about shifting from reaction to response. How else do we live our soul purpose? 

So, here’s another bootcamp blog lesson. Our reality is viewed from a specific lens that are our judgments and assumptions. If you don’t know how you form the lens or what filters you have in place, you never really know if the world is just an elaborate illusion or if what you see is what truly is. That is the why of debriefing and defusing.

Dr. Chris Srgyris has a tool that I use. It is called the ladder of inference. (Here is a video on the Ladder.)  He postulated that our responses and reactions are based upon our beliefs. So, let’s dive into those. 

Think about a recent interaction. It doesn’t need to be one that exploded. It can be a gentle memory that impacted you. Choose an interaction that feels important to you. Sit quietly. Breathe into your center. Get it touch with the memory.

• How were you most impacted by the memory? It could be a physical sensation, a thought, an emotions. Perhaps it is a combination of the three. Create a multi-sensory image of how you were impacted. 
• Why were you impacted by the happening? Identify what triggered you. Name the triggers. (Please note that a triggering is not always negative. They can bring us to joy or happiness.) Name the why using 3-5 descriptors (typically adjectives.)
• Ask yourself what belief those 3-5 words represent. That is the belief, the truth, that brought you to your response/reaction.
• Reflect: how does this belief color your world?
• Introspect: does the belief need to shift or is it part of your truth? 
• The final step: return to that memory and has it impacted hour body. Set a timer for 3 minutes. During that time objectively feel the memory. Don’t cling to it. Let it go. Create a calm in place of the memory. That is the defusing of the trigger. 

Use the information received when you navigate another difficult conversation. In this way you reconnect with your truth and show up as your best, most authentic self no matter how difficult the situation you find yourself in. 

Here’s to showing up as our most magical, mindful self this season and beyond!

 Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020