Gratitude & The Other G-Word

The hectic pace of this holiday season kicks off in just a few days. It all begins on that day that is centered upon gratitude. On Thanksgiving, we focus on what we are grateful for — those things that we appreciate in our life. But, during any holiday season there is another g-word that creeps in, often when we least expect it. Grief washes over us with a tsunami of emotions.

Grief is a byproduct of many situations. The one commonality is loss. We may lose a person, a belief, a job…the list is endless. What twines within each loss is the knowing that nothing will ever be the same. While death is swift and permanent, all too often when an ending happens, the situation or people involved remain. We yearn to go back and fix whatever went wrong. We want to wave a magic wand and return to another time. 

Instead of trying to fixing anything, we choose to wade through the tumble-jumble of grief. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defines the experience of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. As someone who has experienced grief, I can tell you that grief is a nonlinear roller coaster ride of these five emotions. Any of these, at many points in the ride, might slip into the seat beside us. We do not begin with denial and end with acceptance — we experience each in whatever order and as many times as we need to to process grief. 

How do we celebrate the holidays with grief as our companion? Start by accepting not the loss but whatever stage you find yourself in. Be nonjudgmental and non-defensive about how you are feeling — what you are feeling. Those two stances empower you to be nonattached. Being nonattached means that you no longer ignore the grief nor do you cling to it making it your identity. Distanced from the pain, you listen to what grief is saying.

This listening is feeling what you are feeling. Try this: set a timer for 90-seconds. Allow whatever wells up to cascade over you. Notice without judgment, without defending how it feels. Notice where you are impacted in your body, pay attention to your thoughts, and identify what other emotions are triggered. After 90-seconds, thank your grief for its monologue, roll up the residue, and blow it from your being. 

Maybe that g-word is asking you to live consciously through the other g-word. Be grateful for each acknowledgement of your sorrow as you connect with your grief. Remember, it takes strength and courage to welcome grief into your life and befriend it. This holiday season, if you find yourself overwhelmed by grief, well,  maybe your acknowledgement of that grief is what you will become most thankful of. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019 

Bridging Uncertainty: Creating a Nonviolent, Compassionate World

We live in two worlds — the uncertain, where our  fears and angst are driving forces, and the extraordinary, where we power our actions with compassion. Within the uncertain, acts of violence percolate; within the extraordinary nonviolent revolution is birthed. We bridge these worlds by responding with compassion to imperfections and uncertainties. There is nothing magical about this bridge. It is crossed by our intent to be compassionate. 

Uncertainty is exacerbated by inattentiveness. We fear what we do not know. When we are mindful, we better name our fears and see the extraordinary, a place where nonviolence is possible, shining in each moment. With an awareness of how we can be extraordinary, we shift from reaction to response. Through our lived experience of the extraordinary, we become change agents who use the power of our transformation to integrate the extraordinary into the uncertain. 

In these moments of integration, we attune to the incredibleness of life unfolding. Although we live within the uncertainty, we see possibility shining from everything. Creating a nonviolent, compassionate world is no longer a maybe — we step along the pathway of nonviolence and compassion with our actions, words, and thoughts. The gate of nonviolence — a place of engaged compassion and peace — is revealed. 

This gate is not just for a few who are able to experience it. It is available to all. The gate isn’t a doorway to the great beyond. It manifests with peace and compassion in the here and now. In the present moment, we enter this gate through a shift in perspective. We accept that while we may always be imperfect and the world uncertain, we can choose to respond compassionately and nonviolently. This perception shift requires focusing our attention beyond the commotion to what really matters. 

What really matters is our connection to one another and the vein of the sacred that flows through this connection. (For the purpose of this workbook, let’s define the sacred as what we hold in great reverence.) Even if we cannot see the sacred in a person or situation, our response is an acknowledgment of what is there but not seen. With this acknowledgement, the gate of nonviolence is visible. 

How do you reside in this gate of nonviolence? Learn more in Imperfect in an Uncertain World: Your Life, Your Message. (Blog is an excerpt from the book.)

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019 

Compassion Asks, "Is it all in the presentation?"

The holidays were spent with two sets of grandparents whose lifestyles were very different. My father came from a relatively small, affluent family. His mother prepared food that was beautifully presented. The meals were epicurean delights. They tasted as good as they looked. My other grandma was the parent of eleven children. Her meals were hearty and homespun; meant to fill you up.

Both created memorable holiday feasts. Each meal was thoughtfully prepared. While the presentation was different, the same essence resonated within. The food was prepared and served with joy, love, and gratitude. 

Have you every found yourself yearning for something to look a certain way only to be disappointed in how it presents? And, I am not talking about food. I know that I have had visions about how something was supposed to look only to be disappointed. I wanted to leave the situation without a backward glance yet something called me back. “Take one more look,” it whispered. 

An amazing thing happens when we look beyond the surface to the very core of what we are given. As we peel back the layers, we find what is hidden at the core. Instead of being disappointed, I often find exactly what I need. At first glance that need might not be what I want. It may be a difficult challenge that I fear I will never meet. That’s where joy, love, and gratitude come in.

It’s the joy of knowing that I am strong enough to attempt to meet the challenge no matter how it is presented. Self love impels me to learn the lesson rooted in the challenge. And, gratitude I feel for the resources to try one more time. The true gift is realizing that I am not a failure if I attempt to meet the challenge. The knowledge that I will learn something is enough to nudge me into transformation. 

Life gives us many challenges. Some are wrapped beautifully. We yearn to tear the paper off and try that challenge on for size. Others we cringe when we see them. “Oh, not again,” we think. And, we strategize how to regift them to someone unaware. But, no matter what the wrapping, each challenge demands that it be owned no matter how it presents. In the owning we create a life well lived. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

Self Compassion: The Practice of Spiritual Kintsugi

A hurt so deep cracks our being. Snaking deeply  into our soul, we fear a part of us will break off shattering into tiny pieces of hopelessness. Maybe we ignore the crack’s gap as it widens until we can longer leap across the growing illusion of okay. We fall into the recognition that something is askew in our life.

Eventually we take a breath and survey the suffering the crack has caused. This survey is the beginning of spiritual kintsugi. We remember that each of us is a spirit in an incredible vessel birthed after nine months in an earthly kiln. It is inevitable as the years turn to decade that our vessel cracks.

From birth, we are meant to experience life and, so, we do.  Each experience impacts at least one of our four aspects: body, mind, spirit, and heart (emotions.) When we are aware, we understand the lessons. Unfortunately, we sometimes sleep walk. In those moments the cracks form.

All experiences have the potential to make us stronger even those that crack the vessel of our being. We may even find that a piece or two of our self breaks off.  But, these pieces are not lost. When a breakage occurs, we engage in spiritual kintsugi. A simple definition: the repair an aspect of our vessel using the gold of our true self. We are stronger as a result. (Kintsugi is the process of repairing a piece of raku pottery using gold. The result? A more durable, stronger vessel.)

What is the gold of our true self? It is compassion woven with hope, courage, and wisdom. Flowing from a strong desire to understand, spiritual kintsugi demands that we forgive our self, first and foremost, for what has occurred in our life and how we reacted or responded to the happenings. Then, we identify the challenge or lesson inherent in the crack and find peace in our current circumstances. Only then can we begin to heal.

Within this peace is the power to seal the cracks with the gold of our true self thus creating a new pattern of existence. The melding of gold offers a new way that plucks our dreams from the realm of the impossible and ignites our potential. The result? We live the life we are meant to live reflected in the gold of our experience. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

Compassion's Power Dance: Response

Each moment of every day is an opportunity to  make choices that draw us closer to who we truly are or cast us in to the murky shadows of who we do not want to be. I believe that most of us would say that we do not want to be “that person” who lives in the margins of reaction and struggles to step into the sunny warmth of response. All of us spend time in those gloomy shadows because, unfortunately, sometimes our triggers get the best of us. 

At the root of every reaction and every response is a trigger — something that a stirs our emotions. This catalyst may catapult fear or anger or some other unsavory emotions to the surface of our being. Caught unaware it informs our thoughts, words and actions. We react. This subsequent reaction hurts our self or another. The dankness of those shadows surround us.

A trigger does not always bring about a reaction. Sometimes our triggers are noticed before they wrap us in reaction. We feel the churning of uncertainties and feel our imperfections rise to the surface. But, we are aware of the potential for reaction. Instead of allowing this percolation to burst to the surface of our being, we lovingly acknowledge it. We gently make peace with it. We choose to respond with compassion. Just. Like. That. 

Each time we are aware of a trigger and choose to respond we are empowered. There is a Reiki symbol that means “put the power here.” For me, each response is a way of affirming that we need not be manipulated by our triggers. With each response we recognize that we can live a life of compassion. With each responsive thought, word, and action, we power our self with the light of our authenticity. 

How do we get there? The power of response is seeded in the silence of our quiet mind and nourished by the clarity of our spirit. As we learn from our triggers, we get better at listening to their cries for help.  We understand that they are not bad, but lesson-imperfections that guide us to being our best, highest self. 

So, be forgiving. Be compassionate. But, never forget the triggers that force a reaction from the depth of your being. Don’t give away your power that shines the way of your true self.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

Fatigue & the Twining of Self Compassion

I know that you are tired. So am I. Let the fatigue wash  over you. Own it. Really own it. Feel it to the depth of your being. Seek it out. Don’t ignore it. Fatigue hides in the corners and crevices. Listen as Fatigue speaks, “Know me. Love me. Befriend. Once you do, you will see a way forward.”

We all have those moments when the weight of our life crashes down on us. Acknowledging our fatigue is the first step to gaining the power to rid our self of its miasma. The second step is discovering the cause(s). The third is creating strategies to clear the fatigue. The last? Transformation. 

The strand that twines connecting the steps to one another and the whole is self compassion or the recognition and alleviation of suffering. What do you do in your life to heal the aches caused by mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical suffering? Whatever you do is an act of self compassion. 

Maybe you think you do not have time for self compassion. Even the littlest acts can be self compassionate ones. Let’s go through the four steps:

• Acknowledge your fatigue: recognize that your reactions are life depleting. They zap your energy until you cannot respond to the world. Stop ignoring what is preventing you from living a vital life. Name your reactions.
• Discover the cause: begin with full body listening to gain a clearer image of your fatigue. Use your five primary senses to describe your fatigue symptoms. Identify the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual components of your fatigue. (You may find components in one, two, three, or all four aspects.)
• Create strategies: name one or two things you can do to blow away the fog of fatigue. Don’t overwhelm yourself with an anti-fatigue prescription of musts and shoulds. Start small and build with more self compassionate acts.
• Transform: make small changes in the moment that add up to a big difference. You do’t have to accomplish the ultimate goal in the moment. Compassionately walk toward it. 

I know that bone numbing tired feeling seems to have no end. Sometimes it feels that the miasma will never go away. But, it can and does diminish. The goal is to identify the symptoms and roots so when it happens again, and it will, you can take quicker steps to alleviate your fatigue though self compassion.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

A Pilgrimage of the Heart

The heart yearns and the soul listens. The  response is a pilgrimage to a place where the song of your spirit sings with unfettered joy. With a yearning heart, a listening soul, and a joyful spirit, I undertook such a pilgrimage on my birthday.

Into the sunrise, I drove the almost three hours to the Great Serpent Mound, the largest earthen effigy in the world. My  eager anticipation, mimicked the lightening of the sky lightened and the sun peaking over the horizon. I wondered if the Serpent Mound of memory would be as wonderful as reality.

Of course, Siri decided to direct me down a different path. But, what is a pilgrimage unless it is tinged with the unknown and unexpected? As I turned onto Tranquility Pike, I chuckled. Did I ever need tranquility! The road was scarcely bigger than a path and had so many twists and turns. It felt like I was riding the serpent to the mound! 

Once I arrived, I breathed in the beauty of the place. After weeks of hot weather, I was graced with a fall day. I walked the mounded, practiced Tai Chi, and journaled, but mostly I let its serenity permeate my bones. I felt a resolute connection to the land and the mystery that pulsed from it. My jagged edges were soothed. I connected to my sacred spark and my spark connected to that of the Mound.

Was the pilgrimage a magic balm that made everything right in my world? No. The pilgrimage allowed me to touch upon the sacred created by an unknown community from the past. The energy of the snake twined around me and rooted deeply into my heart igniting the sacred spark within. 

That is the true nature of a pilgrimage. We travel outside of ourself not expecting a miracle, but as a means of paying homage to the divine spark within. This spark connects us to not only the the sacred but to all of creation. The pilgrimage is less a panacea for what ails us and more a gentle reminder that within  us is the capacity to live our sacred purpose in the many ways we are invited. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive Coach, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, keynotes, programs, and intuitive consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019