The Letting Go of Grief: Self Compassion

Snow is falling in the middle of April. The heavy  snowflakes swirl to the earth leaving the ground damp with moisture. Although we may not see flakes layered on the ground, their melt remains. So, it is with our grief. While the onslaught of our grief may no longer be visible, the residue remains. We may feel anger, our body may vibrate with hurt, an emptiness may fill our being — all echoes of grief. 

It is said that “time heals all wounds,” but unless we are able to address the symptoms of grief, the abscess deep in the core of our being remains. We can deny what we are thinking and feeling until we reach a crisis point — our body decides that we must lance the spiritual abscess. When our body speaks, we must attend to the physical symptoms. In order to return to wholeness, we address deeper emotional,  mental, and spiritual roots of the wound.

Listening to the voice of grief, we acknowledge how our denial exacerbated the imbalance. Next, we live the suffering, the regret, the loss until we are able to release it bit by bit. We are gentle, loving, and compassionate with our reactions. We grieve what is lost. In the messiness and  uncertainty of our grief released we heal.

Healing is not possible unless we befriend the grief and bless it. Through this unexpected friendship we acknowledge our grief in the big ways and small ones. The abscess is lanced and drained. The path clears. We are changed, more durable, more compassionate from this friendship.  

No two journeys with grief are the same. Each of us discovers exactly how to embrace grief. In this process, we may be able to heal the wounds our self or we may need to seek the help of a professional — or a combination of both. There is no correct way to burn the residue of grief from our being. There is only your way in the moment. 

In every moment of every day we experience letting goes that often result in grief. In every moment of every day, we have opportunities to acknowledge that grief healing the wounds before they fester. In the healing, we befriend grief, meet its challenge, learn its lesson, and step more firmly upon the path of purpose. Just. Like. That.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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