We disconnect in real time. Instead of interacting in the moment face-to-face, we post to Facebook, tweet, engage others through Instagram, text, email.
We may believe that we are engaging on deep levels, but as we increase our cyber interactions, connecting from our authentic core diminishes. Our relationships are one dimensional. While we interact with others mentally, these connections are superficial — we do not connect body, mind, spirit, and heart.
Thomas Merton was right that “we have forgotten an older unity.” But, our interactions are more than forgetting how we are connecting with each other. We have also forgotten that each of us is a multidimensional being who relates to others through the four aspects of self — when aligned they authentically represent who we are.
To enter into intimate relationships (those characterizing our most authentic natures), we must recognize the illusion of “we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.” We understand that our experience of this reality occurs in our bodies, with our minds, through our emotions, and for our spiritual growth. When in unity with our self, we create intimate relationship by connecting our four aspects to the four aspects of others.
Body — a study in the 1960s found that 7% of the meaning is derived from our conversations was based upon the words spoken. 93% of meaning is found in inflection, body language, and other nonverbal cues. Through our bodies we connect consciously and unconsciously.
Mind — our internal monologue provides a running commentary on the world. It is filled with compassion as well as judgments and defenses. When we connect mindfully with another we listen to how we sabotage our interactions and reframe destructive thoughts in ways that intimately connect us with another.
Heart/Emotions — with mindfulness we notice the play of emotions throughout our body and use this information to defuse our illusions and strengthen our connection to our authentic core. Our relationships with others deepen.
Spirit — our divine spark, that which connects us to all, is what powers our experience. It grounds us into our authentic self and connects us to the authentic selfs of others. Whatever relationships we have in this life grow us spiritually or stagnate us. When our body/mind/heart/spirit align authentically with our self and others, we recognize when we are learning and what barriers wall us into our misunderstanding and ignorance.
Through relationship we form deep connections with others. We recognize the “gate to heaven everywhere” (Thomas Merton). This gate leads not to some other dimension; it is a place where we are courageously aware of the illusions that prevent us from living in intimate, compassionate relationships. This gate is a place of curious daring where we are no longer limited by our fears; instead we live from our authentic core.
Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ firstname.lastname@example.org for keynotes, programs, and consultations.
Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018