“How could you leave me?”
“I feel empty.”
“I am afraid at what lurks in the bottomless pit of sorrow.”
Those words or similar ones are echoes of the despair that accompanies
grief. Instead of listening to the cries of grief, we run from here to there
filling our self with activity. We do anything so that we do not acknowledge
the grief that simmers inside of us. But, this grief does not go away.
No matter how much we try to ignore those feelings, the simmering
soon becomes a rolling boil. And, much to our surprise, a volcanic eruption of
grief bursts into our life. The resulting flow of lava burns the landscape of
our being. Our suffering and woundedness intensifies.
Although touching that deep core of grief may seem frightening and overwhelming,
we do not have to venture to the chamber of grief magma alone. Hand-in-hand
with compassion, we can acknowledge and move through these feelings. Grief is
not longer an adversary. It becomes first an intimate stranger and, then,
beloved companion. Processing grief often requires a therapist, but a mindful
practice that incorporates the 4nons helps to identify and release the
emptiness while recognizing love.
Try this: find a quiet place…focus on your breath…don’t try to shift
it…just notice your breath…be aware of how your grief is speaking through your
breath…notice how your breath flows to places in your body…listen to your
body’s cries of grief…listen without attaching to your reaction…
Do not cling to the grief…do not push it away…just be…it is easy to
judge the grief as good or bad…this or that…don’t label…just be in the energy
of your grief….do not defend your right to grieve…do not justify your need hang
on to it…accept your grief for what it is…acknowledge your great loss…become
aware of your thoughts toward grief…if you notice words of
violence…hatred…anger…despair…allow them to drift away on your breath…be within
the grief as an objective observer.
Return to your breath…feel the wisps of compassion that enter with
every breath…allow the compassion to flow through you…feel it enter the cracks
where grief hides…where grief festers…meet grief as an intimate stranger…someone
bringing you a great gift…remembering the great love that you had…recognizing
the loss…allow compassion to mingle with the gift…turn to the byproducts of the
gift…the angst, the desolation, despair, anger…see them lift from you body…exhale
them…
Feel the mantle of compassion surround you…rest within its embrace…feel
your suffering evaporate…just be…
Grief is a companion for our journey. No matter how we try to shove
it away, it remains until we acknowledge and embrace it. Learn the lessons and
celebrate what we lost. With compassion we can befriend grief, learn from it,
and heal our wounds.
Vanessa
Vanessa F. Hurst is Compassion Officer at Intent & Action. She is an Intuitive Coach, Community Builder,
and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.
More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com
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