some will love you

I have been accused of “going global,” but I believe that it is appropriate that I begin with global.  Each of us at some point in our life has experienced the heights of profound love and the lows of extreme dislike.  Those moments of showered loved showered upon us feel quite wonderful.  But, they are soon forgotten.  We take them for granted.

The times of extreme dislike are the ones that we are more likely to remember.  Maybe they trigger angst or we wake up trembling in fear.  We might wonder what we “did” to trigger such a harshly negative reaction.  We might also wonder why after a certain amount of time has passed why we still deeply feel the hurt triggered by the extreme emotion of another.  And, we may discover that the person still has those strong feelings of extreme dislike.

Last night when I was journaling an understanding surfaced about “people will hate you.”  Mid-rumination I was flooded with compassion.  I suddenly understood body, mind, spirit, and heart the last part of the quote, “and none of it will have anything to do with you.”  Maybe my words and actions had triggered the reaction, but the reaction was not mine.  The other person could have chosen to respond with compassion to me instead of reacting to my words or action. (And, I remind myself that in times when I react, I could choose to instead to respond.)

For a bit, after I had this epiphany, I rested in silence.  I felt self compassion flowing through me as it healed those parts of me deeply wounded by these interactions.  Forgiving myself for the times when what comes out of my mouth, fingertips, or pen isn’t well thought out or exactly what I mean.  Those are reactions that hurt others and ultimately myself.

But, what surprised me most was the whoosh of compassion that burst forth leaving my energy field.  As the compassion energetically flowed from me, it traveled, without conscious thought, to several people.  While I realized that I will never understand fully the depth of their dislike or why they hold on to it so tightly, I could understand that they were deeply wounded.  Their memories of our interaction were still grated at them.

I can only examine my own extreme feelings and discern why I hold onto them.  My reactions and responses have everything to do with me and are the only thing that I can change.  When I try to figure out what is going on with the other person, I make assumptions that may not be correct.  And, my assumptions change nothing.  Compassion directed toward myself and others has the capacity to radically change every thing.  It is a healing balm that brings us to another way of being.

My challenge to you (and me!): Make an inventory of those with whom you hold grudges.  Using full body listening, using all of your senses, create a visual of what that extreme dislike is doing to you.  Set your intent to let the grudges go; to allow compassion to flow first to your self; then to focus your intent to be compassionate presence to the other — even if you do not understand the nature of their suffering, ask to be a conduit for its alleviation.

Breathing in the flow of compassion surrounds me: breathing out, it embraces the other.  This healing grace permeates each of us as individuals and as partners in relationship.   Loving and letting go, I forgive and hope to be forgiven.  I acknowledge that I do not need to return to the relationship as it was.  Through the healing presence of compassion, I take steps into this present moment and the next and the next. 

So, some may love, some may hate; I may love, I may hate — through the spirit of compassion, I take personally those things that are mine and trust that compassion heals me and those around me.

Vanessa is an Intuitive, Community Builder, and Compassionista, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action

More from Vanessa & Community Building: www.intentandaction.com