January passed in a whirlwind of emails and phone calls for
me. This week as I reviewed the list of
those I had contacted, the number of emails that fell into the abyss of no
response was disappointing.
I believe in the power of the compassionate no. For you
see, over the past year or so, my attitude about receiving a no answer to my
request has shifted. I’d rather have
someone tell me no, well, because then I will know. The compassion behind the no impels me to soldier on to find a welcoming yes.
No. Those two letters,
one short syllable has the ability to open our potential. But, we often give that word more power than
it really has. With that utterance, we
believe that we control the possibility of another; that our “no” will dash
someone’s hopes and dreams. Does “no”
shut of the door of potential, of possibility?
To answer this question, I turn to the murky area where
compassion struggles to exist — that place where instead of being honest, we
hedge; afraid that we will hurt someone’s feelings. Compassion born of fear creates an illusion
that in reality causes more suffering.
Within this fear-filled, murky place lies the power of authentic
compassion. A compassionately responded
no has the potential to set another
on a truer path.
When we ignore a request, it falls into the abyss of no
response. Even though the possibility of
connection is gone, we just haven’t let the other know. And, the other may be expecting the potential
connection. Their energy is still
attached to something that will never happen.
In these moments of no response, we are perpetrating the
illusion of possibility. When we rise
above the illusion by telling the other “no,” a moment of discomfort is
unavoidable. But, in that moment of
honesty, we eradicate the illusion. The
other can turn their energy to manifesting the extraordinary in other avenues
of their life.
As the days grow longer and the hope of spring teases us,
let’s call upon our compassion as we use a simple word — not to close doors but
to help another turn toward a different direction. Through our compassion, the other and our
self may just find the perfect place of possibility realized all through the
power of a compassionate no.
Dancing out of the Abyss in to the Compassionate Power of
No,
Vanessa
Vanessa is a Intuitive Healer, Community Builder, and
Compassionista, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action
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