Sparks in Wisdom's Fire

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

It’s Raining: Messages for the Moment

It’s raining those chilly drops that don’t quite seem to clean the grime of the world. Instead, the rain puddles and laughs as the cold wet seeps through my shoes. It’s raining, and I can’t help to wonder why the rain cannot be the fluff of snow dancing from the sky and painting the landscape in flurry white.

But, then, the realistic optimist inside of me says that this rain could be sleet, and I could find myself pinwheeling never quite gaining my balance. At least this rain creates reflection puddles! What would I find if I peered deeply into the pitter pattering rain? To discover that answer is a challenge for a cold, wet day!

A friend of mine says that everything happens for a reason. Maybe these chilly drops and those freezing puddles remind me to look at the world anew. The damp is most certainly waking me — pay attention, Van, they seem to say. But, maybe the rain need not mean anything but the earth is taking a long, cold drink of water pouring from the sky.

Whether or not the message is for me or for the parched earth, I have to be sure of the message falling from the sky. So, I center myself, look at the altered landscape, allow the drops to dampen my shirt, and breathe deep. Once inside, I boldly peer out the rain smudged window. I see the hush outside reverberating into the marrow of my bones. With daring, I open the window. What greets me is the smell of cool crisp mid-winter.

I am reminded that we are still in fallow times. The rain seeps to where we cannot see and nourishes seeds that we may not even know are there. In that reflective moment I wonder what seeds buried deep within my soul I am nourishing in this moment.

The rain is a trickster messenger. It may not clean the grime, but drop by drop it changes the landscape of our being. The rain offers us opportunities to see what we could not see before. How do we dig deep into the intuitive message of the rain? The first step, for me, is to reframe the laugh of the cold wet seeping into my shoes to a not-so-gentle reminder to pay attention to what is occurring in this moment.

Paying attention may mean learning to skirt the metaphorical puddles and traverse dry land. Or, it may be an invitation to live in wonder and splash in a puddle or two. Maybe it’s a call to forget the discomfort of being wet and engage fully in childlike wonder of nature. Maybe it is just saying, “Be in the moment. That is all you need to do.”

It’s raining and those drops pull me from a rather mindless meandering into a moment filled with absolute wonder of being. What message does the rain share with you?

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Righting A Tilting & Sliding World

Once upon a time the world tilted. It took a slide and was never the same again. If you are like me, the world has never seemed so uncertain. Do you find yourself grappling for balance? Looking for solid ground? Or, maybe you just shake your head and say, “What the heck do I do now?”

Maybe this world and finding our places in it is less about having definitives or living in certainty and more about living into the moment. How do we “live into the moment” and what does it even mean?

Living into the moment requires being open to what is happening. It is about not getting stuck in your own agenda of what should happen. It is about consciously responding instead of reacting. It is about being okay with what is happening even if it is in direct opposition to what you think you want. Instead of fighting what is, we live into the possibilities as they present themselves moment by moment.

Living into the possibilities. I am a master at reframing. Give me a situation, and, in five or so minutes, I can name the positive, the potential, the learning inherent in that situation. Now, that skill didn’t manifest overnight. It took practice and fine-tuning of optimism.

So, let’ reframe that tilt. What if we viewed the uncertainty as an opportunity to rediscover or even re-choreograph this dance we have with life? With any uncertainty comes a rhythm, a melody that invites us to uncover our true, real self and share that self with the world. Think you can’t change the world? Never underestimate the power of being your real self.

Realistically optimistic — that’s me. Maybe it is you, too. So, don’t rush in. Take moments to gain balance in this tilt-a-whirl world. Really feel your reactions and responses. Listen to the messages whispering and shouting from your being. Notice how your body is impacted by the internal and external messages. Get a multi-sensory panoramic view of your current reality.

What happens when we take a moment to get our bearings? We gain a different perspective. With that view sometimes we see the possibility while other times we have to take a breath as grief washes over us. There are times in this crazy, uncertain world that we just need to allow our self the luxury of being in the fear that lurks in the uncertainty. (I may even take a nap to allow my body to reset; to allow myself to become calm.) No matter what we choose, we remind our self that we can’t help anyone, including our self, when we are tilting sideways in this uncertain world.

Once reset, relook at the situation. Open to the magic in the moment. Even if the potential is not evident, will our self to see the potential. Consciously and intentionally will the tendrils of hope to reach into the uncertainty and twine with the possibility. Maybe that hope will twine with the despair of another and raise them into hope’s possibility.

Think you cannot change the world? Think again. Small actions have big consequences.

With an eye on the possibility-prize, we can navigate the fog of uncertainty. We can choose one action that shines our light in a bleak world. We cast a light on our growing circle. In doing so, we recognize that a simple action is all we need to accomplish to make minute changes in the world. And, that action is enough to stop the tilt and bring us to balance.

Life is uncertain. The world will always tilt in big and small ways. But, we must never give into the uncertainty. Instead partner with the uncertainty. Engage the rhythm that invites us to dance. Through the dance we unravel the worrisome knots and live hope in a turbulent world.

May you be the hope that unravels the uncertainty.

Van

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

No More Running, No More Hiding

I have spent the last six days reflecting upon national events and then running from what I found only to return again to reflecting. This has been tough time for one me. I generally have an optimistic view — I can usually reframe most any situation.

I admit to having difficulty understanding how some people will go to outrageous limits to incite the anger in others. And, that some people will go to even more outrageous limits to express that anger. Honestly? It has been a tough week to be an American.

I wondered, “How did we as a nation get to this point?” After a review of history, I can cite a series of events that led us here. I could also cite individual and collective responses to those events that exacerbated what we are experiencing. I could talk about how disturbing the past four years have been. I could even point fingers and make a lot of people really angry at the results of my critical thinking. In effect, I could throw more gas on our wildfire.

Instead, in order to understand how my life experience has evolved these past four years, I dug into my past — my blogs from November 2016. As I reviewed them, I asked, “Where were you emotionally, spiritually, and mentally during that time? How did that impact the sharing of your vision with others? How has your vision changed?”

Let’s begin:

November 8, 2016: #weareinthistogther

We are at a point at which we can no longer ignore the polarization that has become increasing more evident over the past year or so. Good people, really all of us, have been hurt in some way or another. But, we often do not have a way of channeling the hurt. We get stuck in an endless cycle of being hooked, lashing out, and being hooked yet again. This gap between us and them will continue to widen until we stop our personal cycle.

In this place of less than peace, we are not aware of how our judgments and beliefs create our fragile personal reality which is comprised of both the authentic and the illusory. We get so stuck in fear that we cannot even identify the illusions. The only way to increase peace in our self and the world is by courageously identifying our wounds, our illusions, and our authentic.

How do we step into this place of peace? That begins simply and perhaps not so easily with our self.

While I still know that we are in this together, the polarization has grown. I am not sure how “inthistogether looks like any more. I even admit to edging farther left even though those steps have, at times, been a painful recognition of illusions that I have fostered.

What I have witnessed is that instead of creating a country where we can all lived together, certain factions have tried to create something in their own image. And, what we have got as a result is a version of #inthistogether that certainly is not a welcoming community.

We have the tools to be an inclusive, equitable community. Building that community begins with challenging ourself, individually and collectively, to name what is true and what is illusion. We must courageously meet this challenge no matter how disconcerting, no matter how embarrassing.

The question to ask over and over again is “what catches me?” In that answer, we discover what is preventing us, individually and collectively, from creating a nation that is aware of injustice and inequity and take steps to resolve the injustice and inequity. Within that answer is an implicit agreement to work together to create a community that is comprised of people who are #inthistogether.

How have I changed in the past four years? I can no longer go back to sleep or be silently complicit in the beliefs of another by agreeing to disagree. So, in the fragility of the world, I say, “I hear you, but I do not agree with you.”

November 15, 2016: Compassion’s Visible Commitment

Wearing a safety pin, for me, represents an intentional and tangible way of closing a gap of separateness and uncertainty while offering compassion and support. So, I bought safety pins — quilter safety pins in honor of my mom who was a quilter.

I believe that my Mom, a women with a big, compassionate heart, would have probably worn a safety pin of solidarity and offered a haven for anyone in need. You see, my Mom was the manager of an elementary school cafeteria. She had this knack to see past the surface illusions and into the heart of each child. Mom served a smile and a spoon full of compassion with every meal.

So, I wear this simple metal piece positioned just to the left of my heart, near my shoulder. That safety pin is a quiet beacon that people notice. The connection with intimate strangers is more immediate than before. Our conversations are rich as we share our commitment to the meaning of the safety pin. How it provides a tiny point of light in the dark for the wearer. How we hope that light connects with others and provides solace. How this symbol illuminates us and others with fragile rays of compassion.

I sometimes happen upon a sweater that still has one of those quilter’s pin on it. And, I wear it with the pin attached. I wonder what my Mom, who although not political and would have worn that pin, would think about the chasm that divides her own family. I could get stuck in that rabbit hole of wondering, so I stop that meandering.

The safety pin is a symbol of my fragile belief that all should be welcome to the table. The belief that while we need to protect those who are hated and feared for who they are, we can come together. It will take a lot of work, but that crazy optimist in me believes even after what has happened that one union is still possible.

That safety pin is more than a welcoming symbol. It is a clear reminder to me that I have an obligation to stand strong, to be compassion, in a world with a growing divide. That a I am a light in an increasingly dark world. That light glints off that safety pin in a message of hope.

Wearing that pin is an act of daring, a response of courage. I realize that may not be able to pin the world together, but I can pin myself to others through compassion, respect, and awareness. And, pin by pin by pin, we can create a more equitable, a more just, a more compassionate world. I realize that while this may not happen in this moment, we must begin in this moment.

So, I commit to being the pin that connects one another and even pricks the unaware until they awake from their illusions and stand in the truth of what could be. I will not stop until we have a world that is safe, just, equitable for everyone because we are #inthistogether.

November 22, 2016: A Brave New World

I’ve had a reality check. You know, one of those hair sizzling jolt that shakes us in the ground of our being. Collectively and individually we have been shocked; we are awake with a new awareness. Eyes open, this new view is not an easy one for me to see.

But, within me is a growing awareness that we have a choice. We can choose to continue the path of divisiveness and be paralyzed by fear or we can choose a new way, a brave way of navigating our reality. I see possibility seeping through the cracks and crevices of this new reality. It encourages us to live courageously, daringly, and curiously.

How we live from those possibilities frame our new world. We are called not to be lights that banish the dark — cockroaches scatter in the light but do not leave. Our bright being is called to be a spotlight on what must be changed. The courageous choices that we make in this moment and the coming moments will frame this brave new world.

The last four years have been one reality check after another. Much of it has been painful — I cannot/will not understand why people do not live the reality that we are #inthistogether. Why does the color of skin, ethnicity, religion, gender — I know that I have left something out — makes such a big difference to some people?

I am going to reference my mom again. She was a simple woman with a big heart who didn’t believe in judging people based upon anything other than what was in their heart. She was quick to help those who needed assistance. She was a light that shone in the dark and scared away a cockroach or two.

During these past four years, we have all made choices — some have brought us further into the light; some have got us turned around in the dark. A lot of people have woken up and are now shining brightly. No matter where we find ourself, in this moment, each of us can commit to being that spotlight that has the cockroaches scurrying away. We are the possibilities, the potential, that can reframe our world into a place where we are #inthistogether.

What we choose in this moment, individually and collectively, ultimately changes our future moments. We’ve got a long way ahead of us filled with uncertainty and, unfortunately, violence. Each of us needs to make a decision about the root from which all our actions stem. So, at the root, how will you choose to respond to the cataclysm in this country and the echoes in the world?

As always, I am a work in progress. In this moment, I choose to respond the way I have lived these past years: with the compassion of enough+, through relationship, being nonviolent, and listening to my intuition.

Let me know what you choose. Van

PS If you would like the three blogs referenced in their entirety, send me an email.

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Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Navigating Life’s Twists & Turns:

It seems that the uncertainty of 2020 has leached into 2021. Maybe you’re thinking, “If I can just get through these next weeks, life will even out.” But, what if you do not find balance? What if these twists and turns are the only certainty that we find in 2021?

Take a breath. It will be okay. This isn’t a doomsday scenario — this isn’t an all out despair message. No, this is about taking a long, loving look at your real. This is the time to acknowledge where you are. It is time to survey the lay of your land and decide where to go from here.

Where to go from here. That is a biggie. Take another breath. Let it flow through your body. This survey of your land is not so onerous when you connect to your core. At your core is an internal GPS better known as your intuition. You are not expected to navigate the twists and turns alone. That voice within is your life guide.

We are all intuitive. Maybe you believe that. But, some — maybe you are in this group — have been conditioned to not listen to their intuition or to even deny its existence. Or maybe you fear that listening to your intuition will bring you three more steps into the mad uncertainty of life.

Maybe you believe that being in a relatively uncertain yet stable life is better than taking the risk of acting upon your intuition. Maybe in the the short term it is. While the moment is all we have, listening to our intuition in the moment paves the path of blossoming hopes and dreams. Risks are to be taken. Life is to be lived. Intuition is to be listened to and responded with.

Back to the long loving look — this look begins by intuitively listening to our body’s conversation. With the long look comes the understanding of the many ways our body helps fashion our responses. When we listen to our body, we actively engage in a dialogue with our intuition.

Are you reading to take that long, loving look. Let’s return to the breath. As you inhale, follow your breath throughout your body. Visualize its course. Feel the breath as it encounters blocks, moves through them, and whispers into the nooks and crannies of your being. Taste and smell the aroma of your breath as it enlivens your being.

Then, ask yourself, “What is my body saying?” Perhaps it is something mundane — you may be thirsty. Or, it may be a tingling or another way that your intuition is attempting to get your attention.

Have that drink. Hydrate yourself so that you can better hear the voice of your intuition. Then, say to your body, “What do you have to tell me? I am listening.” Notice from where your body is speaking.

Let’s move into the tangible with an example. When I did this exercise, I felt my shoulders pushing down and a heaviness in my solar plexus. So, what was my body saying to me?

The shoulders pushing down were a reminder to get back into my body, to pay attention to what was happening to me physically. The movement cautioned me to be more aware of me. I need to stop ignoring physical issues. And, of course, it was a gentle reminder to practice more Tai Chi.
The heaviness in my solar plexus came with a series of queries: Am I standing in my own power? What can I do today to recommit to myself? How am I taking care of myself? How am I practicing self compassion?

So, I listened. Now it is time to respond. To take care of me. To be and act in ways that my spirit shines forth into the world as a beacon of peace.

This simple activity reconnects you to your intuition. Taking that long, loving look by listening to your body provides you with knowledge and the ability to take steps in the moment that make all the difference in your future.

We are intuitive beings. The next blog will take a long loving look at intuition and our heart or emotions aspect.

Because being intuitive really is as natural as breathing, Vanessa

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Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Being the Gift of Small Things, Blessings, and Beauty

Have you ever wondered about the secret to happiness? What is the key to feeling that deep contentment that seeps into your bones and flows into the world when you are happy? Once that happiness is cultivated, it becomes a gift you give to yourself and share with others over and over again.

But, how do we cultivate this gift within our self?

Let’s begin with what happiness is…and is not. Happiness is not the absence of fear or frustration or sorrow. Happiness is the way we approach emotions and circumstances that threaten to flood us with a tsunami of hopelessness. Happiness is not a fleeting emotion; it is a way of life — a state of well being and contentment.

2020 has seemed like a decade of uncertainty and challenge instead of twelve months. If you are like me, it was a year filled with many opportunities to either get trapped in the uncertainty or rise to the challenge. As I reflect upon the year, I am amazed at everything that has occurred. I cannot believe how much my life, the life of my son, the lives of friends and colleagues have changed. Unfortunately not all this change is for the better.

These changes provided ample opportunity for the reframe. And, while I admit that I am a master re-framer — able to see the good, the potential in most situations — I have my moments of despair this year. During this year, I’ve even questioned if I have ever been happy and what happy looks like. So, this year has provided the ultimate reframe!

In this ultimate reframe, there are so many opportunities to create a way of life that is filled with contentment. By contentment I mean being grateful for what we have, acknowledging our blessings, and finding ways to expand the beauty of our lives.

Okay. Don’t get anxious. Breathe. This task is not such a tall order when we reframe in little bits. What if we begin by accepting that happiness is rooted in being content and satisfied with an edge. This is not the satisfaction of complacency but the edgy satisfaction that comes from being content in the moment while setting goals and moving toward them. It is about being grateful for the good in your life while continuing to strive toward your dreams.

How do you get there? Start with the little things!

Acknowledge the small things in your life — or those things that are working.
Acknowledge the blessings — those are the things that tip the scales in your favor or show you the glint of the silver lining.
Find at least one way, each day, to expand the beauty in your life.

Let’s move into the tangible with some examples from my life?

The small things: even through the upheaval of the year and the loss of several income streams, I have a part time job that pays most of my bills.
The blessings: my relationship with my son, the listening ears of friends.
Expanded beauty: the daily reflections arcs that I share on Facebook. These are a way to start my day and share that beauty with others.

Now you do it! What are the small things, the blessings, the expanding beauty in your life? I am not saying that this activity is always easy. Sometimes we’ve got to dig into who we are to discover the small things, the blessings, and the beauty within. And, through this acknowledgement we are the gift with share first with our self and then with the world.

Here’s to being the gift of rolling moments of small things, blessings, and beauty in 2021.

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Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Resolution Free Zone

Darkness drapes me in her fragrant embrace. My heart beats wildly. What lurks in the dark? And, is something slithering across me or is it the breeze blowing through the cracks in my soul? I do not know.

The tempo of my heart increases. Instead of being carried into the place of fear, I remind myself to breathe: Inhale. Listen. Exhale. Let go. Reminding myself that I am safe, I inhale and exhale over and over again until I connect to the courage sparking from my soul.

Today as I celebrate the winter solstice, I find myself wanting to leap across this dark chasm into 2021…perhaps I will forego the winter and land smack dab in the middle of March. Three months into 2021, the dark will be no longer and the tiny stems of my being will be preparing to shoot from the ground of my being into the newness of me.

Then logic, and the fact that I do not own a time machine, kick in. I must live through the dark carefully sifting through what seeds to nurture and which to toss into the compost pile. This next year, 2021, is unlike any other (but aren’t they all?). This is the big 6-0 for me. I find myself reflecting upon how I want to nurture myself into being over the next nine months. This is not so much a resolution for me but a commitment to living from my core.

A commitment from the core. What does that even mean? And, how is it different from a New Year’s resolution? For me, this commitment is a call to look past the superficials like “I want to lose weight” or “I want to exercise more” to how I really need to live. So I dig furrows into the whys of the change I need to plant within my soul.

This change means letting go of habits that no longer serve me (us). The reason why we develop those habits we yearn to restructure is a complex one for sure. I am not a therapist who can unravel the reason or reasons why habits develop and are sustained. Instead, I am a mentor who can pose questions, listen to your responses, and help you become your best self. Evolving into your best self means working with those slithering things in the dark and navigating the dark with your intuition. (This year I am going to be my best client!)

So, how de we get to our best self? Let me share one of my favorite, most powerful tools: journaling. I am a big journaler. As I write, the emotions that I experience leach from my pen onto the paper. As the page fills, I empty myself until I am objective enough to really look at the events unfolding in my life. This means that I am less attached to my reactions, more aware of my judgments, and not so defensive about what I am writing about. In my objectivity I can see clearly see my triggers and the resulting implosions. I learn how to navigate the minefield of triggers. It is in this navigation that I shift happens and become the real me.

By journaling, I own who I am even when I slip and fall. After I acknowledge my imperfections, I breathe deeply into the calm. The whispers of self-compassion caress my woundedness. I commit to a somatic memory the feelings that led up to that flipped trigger. I immerse myself in self care/self-compassion/self love.

After my journal processing, I re-enter my life with a new awareness. I attend to my body, mind, and heart alert to what tatters the the threads of my spirit. These spirit threads weave through my body, mind, and heart connecting all four aspects of self. Those spirit threads are what makes me real. (They makes you real, too.) Once real, I can make choices to neutralize any triggers and be myself regardless of what slithers in the dark or reflects brightly in the light.

Unfortunately, this commitment to being me isn’t lived on a straight line from now to then. I am quite sure that the next nine months or so will see a detour or twelve. But, this year, I will not have resolutions. I am committed to planting me deep within the dark, fertile soil of my soul and attending to the whispers of dark that slither within me making room for me to grow.

How about you? How do you become objective about your life? What are you committing to in 2021?

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Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Connecting to Your Most Magical Mindful Self (Recouping After A Difficult Conversation)

A magical mindfulness formula for difficult conversations. Did you read that blog? Better yet, did you practice the formula? (If you missed the blog, it is available here.) Are you ready to take the next magical mindful step? Let’s dive deeper into mindfulness for recouping after a difficult conversation.

As soon as I can after a difficult conversation, I spend some time debriefing and defusing. By debriefing I mean that I get dig into how I reacted during the conversation. By defusing, I mean that I allow all the residual gunk — thoughts, emotions, physical sensations — to leach from my system. How do I debrief and defuse? I begin by recognizing that I view the world through a unique lens. Naming that lens helps me understand the why and how of how an interaction went the way that it did.

Maybe you are saying, but, Van, I’m not sure I need to know all that. And, isn’t debriefing and defusing a lot of work? I would say that yes, it is work, but we all need to know what flips our triggers. I mean, if we don’t know why we did what we did, then we will flip the same triggers over and over again. We will never grow past our reactions. And, life is about meeting challenges and learning our life lessons no matter how difficult or exasperating the situation we find our self in. It is about shifting from reaction to response. How else do we live our soul purpose?

So, here’s another bootcamp blog lesson. Our reality is viewed from a specific lens that are our judgments and assumptions. If you don’t know how you form the lens or what filters you have in place, you never really know if the world is just an elaborate illusion or if what you see is what truly is. That is the why of debriefing and defusing.

Dr. Chris Srgyris has a tool that I use. It is called the ladder of inference. (Here is a video on the Ladder.) He postulated that our responses and reactions are based upon our beliefs. So, let’s dive into those.

Think about a recent interaction. It doesn’t need to be one that exploded. It can be a gentle memory that impacted you. Choose an interaction that feels important to you. Sit quietly. Breathe into your center. Get it touch with the memory.

How were you most impacted by the memory? It could be a physical sensation, a thought, an emotions. Perhaps it is a combination of the three. Create a multi-sensory image of how you were impacted.
Why were you impacted by the happening? Identify what triggered you. Name the triggers. (Please note that a triggering is not always negative. They can bring us to joy or happiness.) Name the why using 3-5 descriptors (typically adjectives.)
Ask yourself what belief those 3-5 words represent. That is the belief, the truth, that brought you to your response/reaction.
Reflect: how does this belief color your world?
Introspect: does the belief need to shift or is it part of your truth?
The final step: return to that memory and has it impacted hour body. Set a timer for 3 minutes. During that time objectively feel the memory. Don’t cling to it. Let it go. Create a calm in place of the memory. That is the defusing of the trigger.

Use the information received when you navigate another difficult conversation. In this way you reconnect with your truth and show up as your best, most authentic self no matter how difficult the situation you find yourself in.

Here’s to showing up as our most magical, mindful self this season and beyond!

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