Peeking Over The Fence At Life As It Is

Freedom: To soar to the  height of wonder and to dive deep in the darkness mining the lessons of life lived. Acknowledging freedom while recognizing the ways we get stuck. To have the courage to explore the crevices and climb over boulders that bar us from being our true self. 

Freedom flows from our responses and is halted by our reactions. In letting go of shoulds and woulds, we twine courage, curiosity, and daring. This braid glitters with joy. Living from this triad brings liberation. No longer fearing life as it is, we more clearly see our choices and have the strength to choose wisely.

Taking life as it is doesn’t mean giving up and living within the narrow path of what life throws at us. No, taking life as it is requires the courage, curiosity, and daring to push out the boundaries, peek over the fence of our illusions, and dig into the ground of our being. We actively seek potential in the moment and live through the possibility making it reality. 

Taking life as it is invites us into the curious adventure of being who we are without constraints. We challenge perceived limits and ask what they are teaching us. Even during moments of despair, and we will have them, we do not give up. We submerge our self in these feelings to gain awareness of the roots of reaction and response while not getting mired in despair. We submerge to understand; we feel to let go. In letting go, opportunity to live freely occurs. 

So how de we live freely as we take life as it is? 

• Don’t run, don’t hide, from what is unfolding in your life.
• Acknowledge what may be stopping you from living with daring.
• Ask for the best way forward and the courage to step into the new.
• Take a step, even a tiny curious one.
• Plant seeds of who you are in each thought, word, and action.

But, mostly, never give up. Search for the little and big freedoms. When you find them, respond to them with courage, curiosity, and daring. Be your best self and life as it is will become a joy-filled if challenging experience. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Gratitude: An Outward Expression of a Happy Heart

Gratitude: an outward expression of a happy heart.  Who doesn’t like a thank you? I know that I do. There is an art and science to being thoughtful. It involves both tangible and intangible components. Both are necessary as we ride the line between too little and too much gratitude. 

Even if the thank you might cause a tinge of embarrassment, we feel a warmth in our heart that radiates throughout our lives. As a result of gratitude, our thoughts are lighter, our words more gracious, and our actions move lively. We try a little harder, do a bit extra work, have a can-do attitude.

The opposite is true as well. If we do not feel appreciated, our approach to a person or a situation shifts. Our investment lessens. We may find our self responding less and reacting more. This change might not even be a conscious one. Unaddressed feelings of non-appreciation are strong depleting motivators. 

How do we identify when we are hooked by under appreciation? I am a big fan of full body listening. Periodically throughout the day I check in with what my body is telling me. Whatever I feel, I correlate to my current thoughts and emotions. Then, I reflect upon what is at their roots — this might be an interaction, a relationship, an ongoing situation.

What do we do with our realization? The answer is rooted in our power of choice. Once we acknowledge how we are feeling, we choose how to relate to a given situation. We choose how we prevent any feelings from negatively impacting our relationships. Then we act from our heart and not from our hurt. For me, this awareness often provides a wake up call to stop being so hyper-responsible. I am mindful about what is mine and what is another’s. Sometimes what I do is not needed nor wanted. 

Probably the most important thing that I do is to ask myself how I am appreciating myself. Naming the ways that I show gratitude to me is necessary to keep a strong connection from my heart to my actions. 

Through all of this we may recognize that while people are not grateful in ways we want, we can model and attitude of gratitude in ways that we need. This changes how we relate to our imperfections, and in doing so, make the world a little less uncertain.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020 

Free to Be: An Artisan of Joy

Have you ever crammed yourself into an itty bitty box trying to get away from judgments — yours and others? If you are like me, you struggle not to accept the illusion that the hurt filled assumptions are true. Regardless of the truth, there is a safe complacency within those boundaries of illusion, but this complacency never lasts long.

When we happily go along with the illusion, any blimps of dissatisfaction and unrest are quenched by denial until the yearning to be ourself grows so loud we must respond. Finally questioning the falseness of these judgments, we find the strength to stand on our tiptoes to peer over the rim of the box of judgment. In that moment, we see a field of possibility just waiting to be seeded with our true self. 

With one small jump, we catch the rim with our hands and catapult out of captivity into a field of potential. We walk through the sprouts of our new growth recognizing that we have been sharing our truth all along. We blow upon the dandelion fluff feeling joy as the grace and beauty of our self take flight. We know not where our good deeds will land only that when they land the beauty of our soul is shared.

Peering over the side of our judgment filled box or leaping from it — both are acts of freedom. We choose to go beyond the illusions and shift our perception of our place in the world. With curiosity, we really see. With courage and daring we take our place in the world. We no longer deny that we gifts to share. We choose intentional interaction with the world. 

Practically, how do we break free of the judgments that hold us back? How do we take those tiny steps turned great leaps into the life we are already living? 

• Name what limits you. This could be a judgment of yourself or another or a notion you have about yourself.
• Name how this belief manifests in one core part of your life. This could be in your profession, a relationship, a habit, or something else.
• Name one thing that you can do in this moment to stretch your boundaries, break down a wall, create a space of exploration.
• Find the courage, the daring to let go of the illusion and live.
• Feel the joy that comes from stepping out of who you believe you are into who you really are.

Simple. Difficult. Just words. Start with small steps on the road to embracing who you truly are. Each time that you do, you erode that box of judgment-illusion and spread the dandelion fluff of your soul into the world.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Unhooking What Catches You

We all have triggers — seemingly inconsequential  thoughts, words, and actions that send us into tailspins of reaction. How do we stop our self from getting caught in the whirling madness? And, once caught, how de we extricate our self from the barbed hooks of shenpa (what catches us)? 

Not too long ago I found myself in a situation that really had me caught. No matter how I twisted or turned, I found the hook of shenpa embedded deeper and deeper into my being. Yet, I could not seem to stop twisting and turning. Mindfulness techniques worked for a little while — after a bit the angst resurfaced. Reaction edged closer and closer. 

During some quiet time I remembered reading an article about a person who had spent a year living as if that year was the last year of their life. Then I remembered the five Reiki principles. Each one begins with “just for today.” Combining the two created a hybrid approach to my shenpa causing reaction dilemma. I decided to enter any potentially reactionary situation with the thought that “this time is the last time I will experience (fill in the blank).” 

What did I discover? The aggravations and irritations did not magically disappear. They were just as profound as before. What changed was my relationship to them. When I felt the trigger simmering, I answered the question “how would you respond if this is the last time you experience (fill in the blank)?” My want to react diminished. I have to say that it was easier to let something go with that mindset. There were fewer places that the grappling hooks of shenpa could dig in. 

What was really different about my experience was my awareness in the moment. I was able to focus on the impermanence of what was happening. In this circumstance — the one that I developed the hybrid approach for —  I realized that I had been cleaning up after others. Frankly that was neither my responsibility nor the compassionate action. I was enabling “bad behavior” to continue and then getting upset that nothing changed. 

If you are asking, “how can I focus on more response and less reacting,” here are my suggestions:

• Set you intent to respond instead of react
• Consciously breathe into the moment
• Be aware of the symptoms of reaction (physical, mental, emotional)
• Acknowledge what catches you
• Let go of what has you caught
• Breathe into the moment

It takes awareness and practice to notice and let go of the shenpa that catches you. Don’t give up if you are caught more than you are freed. It is all about being in the moment and living your best life.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Being an Artisan of Joy: Laughter

Life doesn’t always reflect our heart’s desire. In those moments of falling short, it is difficult to feel joy much less be an artisan of joy. Maybe all we can focus on is the uncertainty of the world and our imperfections. How can we shift from being caught in the scariness of life to being joy in an uncertain world? That is the topic of my March program: Being an Artisan of Joy.

Begin with a change of perspective. This shift, while not easy or simple, is the precursor to turning feelings of disappointment and despair into moments of gratitude and joy. Changing our perspective requires mindfully attending to the moment while being in touch with the feeling, the memory — whatever is a barrier that prevents us from connecting to our flow of joy. So, how do we do this?

Pema Chödrön, a true wisdom keeper, recommends that you not run from either your trigger or your reaction. In fact, she suggests that you stop and immerse yourself, for three minutes, in whatever is triggering your reaction. Really experience without judgment, attachment, or defensiveness what is occurring. Note: this is harder that it looks. You may have to go through several three-minute cycles until you get to a place of objectivity. 

She suggests one further step. After you have experienced the trigger, reaction, and subsequent fallout, do not let yourself fall into despair. In fact, Pema says not to take yourself too seriously. Laugh at yourself, laugh at how you got caught in your trigger, laugh at your imperfections. Through your laughter you not only befriend your imperfections; you also find a way through them.

Please note: the laughter in no way diminishes the seriousness of your imperfections. It is a reset; movement into an objective stance, an understanding of the roots of your reactions, and a shift from reactionary behavior to response. 

Laughter is the voice of self-compassion. As it propels you from the gloom, you gain a new perspective. To paraphrase Pema, your laughter welcomes the unwelcome into your life as a teacher. In opening yourself to your imperfections, you learn the lesson. Joy is a byproduct of this learning.

We can all be artisans of joy in our life. It requires a change of perspective, a willingness to balance taking our self seriously with laughing at our imperfections, and the intent to live joyously through lessons  learned. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Being an Artisan of Joy: Laughter

Growing the Real You...With Compost

Deep within us beats a heart yearning to grow our best self. With just the right amount of fertilizer, sunlight, and water, our stem explodes from the ground of our soul into the world. Even if we do not have the exact right ratio of nutrients, through the resilience of these plants called you and me a way is found to grow strong and true.. 

Our resilience is sustained through self compassion. This is not self-indulgence; rather, it is doing good for our self. Self compassion begins by noting where you suffer and how is has depleted your. Note where are you fatigued and what triggers your suffering. Your awareness provides clues to the roots of your suffering. 

Now, I am a big believer in using the compost of suffering to grow our best self. All can be used to help us grow stronger, more resilient. Suffering is a variety of life compost. Turning a smelly heap of suffering into usable compost requires reflection and introspection. Through discernment, we uncover the lesson-gifts within the suffering. 

You may be thinking, “No good has ever come of my suffering. I see no gift in my suffering.” 

I would say, “Look deeper. Let go of the grief. Open your eyes to what suffering is saying.”

Because, really, suffering always has a message. To say that it is there to teach us, to make us stronger is really too simplistic. We have to dig into the smelliness searching for message clues while being open to hearing the truth. Are you thinking this might be too much work? When you change your frame of reference and engage suffering mindfully, its message become clearer. This discovery is worthy time spent.

How do you dig through the compost of suffering? Here’s an example: I have been underemployed for seven years. I did not receive job offers for positions that I believed perfectly aligned with my skill set and life goals. I did receive a job offer for a position that I was not really qualified for and one at which I was not making a living wage. I took that job because it was my only option. 

There were parts of the job I loved and much that triggered suffering in me. I engaged in ongoing discernment about my suffering throughout my tenure at that job. What did I discover? From the compost my self worth has grown. I see the positives in my self and my limiting beliefs. I know that no matter where I am, I can have positive, measurable outcomes. 

I also learned more about social justice through this lived experience. I understand in a very different way the direct impact of economic injustice. This knowing has made me a better writer, program presenter, and advocate. Being underemployed could have created a spiral into deep despair. Instead of allowing despair to overwhelm me, I grew a stronger me. 

So, I ask you, “What have you learned from your suffering? How has it made you a better, more resilient person?” Share your answers in the comment section. Thank you!

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019