Stop Lying to Yourself: Grieve the Loss

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Is your internal voice whispering, “It’s not as bad as it seems. Everything is going to be okay. There is nothing that I can do anyway.”  These are the lies we tell ourself. 

I’ve had peoples tell me that they aren’t going to be angry anymore. I’ve spoken with people who are consumed by their anger. Head in the sand or burning it down will resolve nothing. How do we walk the middle ground without being stuck in complacency?

Let’s acknowledge that we are in a space of individual and collective grief. We are tired, fatigued, exhausted. Here are some reasons. Since 2016, we have had three inflection points. The election of Donald Trump in 2016, the Covid epidemic beginning in 2019, and the re-election of Donald Trump in 2024. There’s a lot that percolated during those eight years. I have to tell you, if you are wishing for a return to the time before all this mayhem, it isn’t going to happen.

The most important thing you can do is to stop believing the lies. The first step to living in this new world, is to stop lying to yourself. It is bad; everything might not be okay; there is something you can do. If telling yourself the truth scares you…well, if you are scared, it means that you are aware. The first step to taking action is self awareness.

To be aware is to practice self-care. Take a step back into yourself. Ignite that divine ember within you. See the sparks flare up into your being. They illuminate those parts of you that are paralyzed by your fear.  A huge part of self care is learning what is triggering you.

What can we do? Our self care begins by grieving. Let’s go through Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief. Realize the five stages are not linear; they happen in a spiral. You might have to go through them over and over again. Here are the five stages and how I have gone through them.

• We deny (I refused to watch the news on Wednesday morning. If I didn’t hear or see it, is wasn’t true, right?)
• We get angry (I unfriended so many people on Facebook and raged about those people who had the audacity to vote in alignment with their moral code which was not my moral code.)
• We bargain (I haven’t been here…yet)
• We get depressed (The world can be a dark place of despair. We need not be stuck in it. I remind myself of this.)
• We accept (Okay, we are in a lousy place. How can I live into my values and stand in my power?)

I have not yet gone through these stages in a way that brings resolution. I know that I need to use the power of my emotions to bring me through my grief. For to use the force of emotions is to break this delicate process of grief. To use the power of my emotions is to grieve unapologetically, and that is an act of self care. So in these moments, grieve. 

Let go of what could have been. Don’t isolate. Spend time with your community. We’ve got a lot of work to shape what is. 

Van(essa) F. Hurst is an intuitive, a mystic, and a contemplative. As a spiritual director she journeys with seekers on the ultimate quest — a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred. She is the author of five books and believes that through our lived experiences, we become the people we are meant to be.  Reach out to her for spiritual direction.  or hurst.vanessa@gmail.com 

Soaring into the Primal Power of Gaia

This past week I looked up into the sky and noticed it blueness and the companion billowing clouds. Wow! I thought. The Canadian wildfires are no longer blowing over Louisville. I can breathe into the blue! In those moments I allowed the blue to rest in my soul and calm the disquiet surrounding me blowing away some of the haze in my spirit.

I realized yet again the impact that nature has upon me. Blue skies uplift me. The eerie haze, not so much. It bogs me down. When I peer through the haze, I can see into the beyond. A place of clarity and wisdom.

There I can focus on the scampering of squirrel or the white stripes on the wings of a mockingbird as it takes flight. Blue jays and cardinals provide splashes of color. Even the cawing of crows anchor me into the moment. Nature calms the dis-ease and kindles the wonder in my soul when I get past that haze.

Nature has another face. The wind whipping through the trees, the rumbling of thunder, the flashes of lightning that brighten the night sky. These bring a different kind of energy. I can get stuck in the fear of what if or I can move through them past the disquiet into the calm. I use the energy of their chaos to stoke the flame at my core into a frenzy. 

Inhaling these waves, I breathe into the primal power. This gives me the energy to tunnel even deeper into my self. At the core, I find the calm. Within this silence, the primal power brings me to magnificent connection. I enter into relationship with nature, the sacred, and, well, everyone. 

Mother Earth, Gaia, offers so many opportunities to enjoy her splendor — to invite me to explore relationship with each calls to move to her rhythm. That’s it! Nature provides  so many ways to be come out of my shell and just be. To feel the joy of the scampering squirrels. And to share that joy with others. 

Vanessa Hurst is the author of Imperfect in an Uncertain World filled with resources for you to live with magical conviction. As an intuitive catalyst/spiritual director, she guides individuals in recognizing and responding to their intuition. Curious? Schedule an intuitive conversation.  

A Magic Iridescence in the Air

There is a magic, an iridescence in the air. It invites us to surge past worries, anxieties, fears into a land of hope where the possibilities of our dreams and desires rest. What is this magic? How do we get it? Well, I have a secret. I have to confess. We already have it. That magic rests within us — it’s rooted deeply in our core and blossoms with our courage, confidence, creativity, and conviction. 

Courage

I don’t know about you, but countless times I have convinced myself that I couldn’t apply for that job — I wasn’t qualified. Or, I couldn’t offer my services — imposter syndrome, anyone? These are just the tips of my fears. But, those times that I called upon my courage and submitted the application, I often got an interview. Maybe I didn’t always get the job, but I got the interview! When I submitted the program idea, I often presented the program. You know what happened? It buoyed my confidence. 

Confidence

Sometimes we are so busy convincing our self what we can’t to that energy of can-do is deflated. An amazing thing happens when we have the courage to try. We begin to understand how capable we are . We own our skills and abilities. We become conscious of our power and celebrate the unique wonder of who we are. We push the boundaries past our perceived limitations and find ourself in the realm of creative.

Creativity 

We do not have to be an artist in a conventional sense to be creative. One who uses their imagination and abilities to produce something unique is an artist. What you create is a reflection of your core. Share it with the world. When you do, your creative spirit bursts forth in ways that intensify that magic, the iridescence in your life. 

Conviction — yeah. Without conviction you would not have the courage, the confidence, the creativity to show up as you. If you have’t realized it yet, that is the magic — being your imperfect self in an uncertain world.

Here’s to the beauty of your spirit shining through each courageous act, every confident moment, and every creative sharing. Here’s to living with conviction that you are who the world has been waiting for. 

Vanessa Hurst is the author of Imperfect in an Uncertain World filled with resources for you to live with magical conviction. As an intuitive catalyst/spiritual director, she guides individuals in recognizing and responding to their intuition. Curious? Schedule an intuitive conversation.  

A Rebellious Act of Self Love

Even a Willow Tree Snaps

Willow tree are amazing. They are so supple, so flexible as they move within breezes and strong winds. They remind me of the the saying “we are never given more than we can handle.” But, is that true? With a strong enough wind, a willow branch will break and so will we.

I wonder if there is a way for us to be like a willow tree no matter where we find ourself.  Maybe. Let’s explore that.

It is inevitable that the winds of uncertainty and upheaval will blow into our life. They might even be fierce enough to overwhelm us. No matter how flexible we may be, we may reach our limit. “No more,” we may groan. So, what do we do next? We engage in a rebellious act of self love. Sounds simple right? Maybe. Maybe not.

I was raised to believe that no matter how bad something got that I needed to rise to the challenge. I am not a quitter. I reevaluated that belief and have decided that it is not quite true. Sometimes you’ve got to step away from a bad situation before you break. Sometimes you’ve got to engage in that rebellious act of self love. 

That a rebellion begins with a simple word shouted from the depths of your soul, “enough!” Saying, “I cannot do this anymore. It is just not working.”

Let talk about an example, maybe you cannot quit your job, but you can take care of yourself  by setting good boundaries. That means taking a time out, discovering what balance means for you, and acting upon what you’ve discovered. 

Let’s return to the example of not being able to quit your job. What actions can you do that will take care of you? Do you job within the constraints of your job description. Take your breaks. Learn to notice when things are triggering. When you leave at the end of your shift, ritualistically shake the dust. Then nurture yourself in your down time. Do not give your work free rent space in your head.

Ask yourself, “what is pushing be toward a break?” It may not be a job. It could be something else. Use the above steps to be that will within the chaos. When you discover what to do, act with rebellious self love. In time those acts will bring you out of the chaos into your peace.

A rebellious act of self love is not an act of selfishness, but an act that says, I love you.

 

Vanessa Hurst is the author of Imperfect in an Uncertain World. As an intuitive catalyst/spiritual director, she guides individuals in recognizing and responding to their intuition. Curious? Schedule an intuitive conversation. 

Intuition Incoming!

Lately my intuition has been on fire. Everywhere I turn, I hear, “incoming!” Sparks are flaring in dreams, on walks, in the words of another, even in emails. Exhausting? No. Exhilarating? Heck yeah! I do admit that it is easy to get overwhelmed by all the stimulation.

How not to get overwhelmed? I don’t get too concerned by the little blips that spark and, in a curls of smoke, go poof! If I need to attend to them, they will return with a brighter light. As the spark flares its way into my life, I can no longer ignore it. I must breathe into it…make it mine.

Aware, I attend to it in the moment. I can ask myself: What is that murder of crows cawing at me? What is the meaning of the dream symbols? How do the words of a friend trigger an inner knowing? These are just examples. The ways that intuition comes to us is varied — and longer than I can list here!

Don’t have time to decipher your intuition in the moment? Jot down the key noticings. You can write it down, use the memo app on your phone, or even audiotape it. When you have time, return to it. 

Here’s what I do to use the notes as a spark. 

• If it is a symbol in a dream, I begin to write what I remember and then let my intuition fill in the rest. As I write, I am mindful about any meaning I attribute to the symbols within. I don’t stress if things don’t come. The key is to keep my pen on the paper and write. I don’t think, I just write what comes to me.  You can do the same.
• If it is a symbol or sign, write what I remember and what surfaced inside of me. Then I look up online the symbol or sign. For example, search for “crow meaning.” I see if anything brings an aha to my search. 
• If a conversation triggers an intuitive aha, I spend sometime reflecting on the message. I find that writing it down works best for me. What comes from what the person is saying? I write until I have exhausted your understanding of the message.

Intuition is not an exact science. The more you dig into the messages, the easier it will be to decipher, understand, and respond to them. In time you will be flowing within the mystery and magic of your intuition regularly. 

Vanessa Hurst is the author of As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive. As an intuitive catalyst, she guides individuals in recognizing and responding to their intuition. Curious? Schedule an intuitive conversation. 

I am awake

I am awake. Not the eyes opening at the sound of an alarm clock kind of awake. No, the awareness that comes from being in the moment — noticing how I am distracted, acknowledging the distractions, and moving back into the present moment, ready to listen to what is evolving. And, the more I am awake, the more that I discover how I am getting caught in my distractions!

This kind of awareness is not so easy. It takes practice. I remember during my coach training that the instructor told us more than once: practice does not make perfect; practice makes permanent. Isn’t that what being awake in the moment is all about? We don’t always hear that soft voice of intuition; but the more we listen for it, the easier it becomes to identify those messages. We may never be perfectly intuitively, but, with practice, we get better at recognizing how it speaks to us.

That is what this intuitive journey is all about — recognizing what we are seeing and attending to what we recognize. 

How do we do this? By noticing what is happening in and around us — by being aware. Try this: at certain points in the day, ask yourself what is trying to get your attention. This could be a distraction or an intuitive message. Don’t worry about discerning what is what. Practice identifying what is knocking on the door of your being. 

Focus on the internal:

What is spinning in your mind?

What emotions are your feeling?

What is your body telling you? 

Don’t give yourself too long. You do not want to second guess yourself. Maybe 30-45 seconds for each question. Quickly jot down your noticings. 

Next focus on the external. Use all five of your senses to identity what is vying for your attention. 

Again, don’t give yourself too long. Notice for maybe 60-75 seconds. 

Notice what resonates with you; notice what drags you down. If you have time later, journal about what you picked up. Keep your notes. Pay attention to patterns. Learn to separate, through trial and error, what is a distraction and what is intuitive. You may not become perfectly intuitive but accessing your intuition will become permanent.

Vanessa Hurst is the author of As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive. As an intuitive catalyst, she guides individuals in recognizing and responding to their intuition. Curious? Schedule an intuitive conversation. 

Being Your Own Crystal Ball

Do you ever want to grab a crystal ball and peer deeply into it to discover the future? To choose without a doubt the best decision to make in this moment? To know what is going to happen and ensure that you have smooth sailing? Me, too. But, life is just too fluid to know with certainty what the future will hold. 

What if I told you that you are your own crystal ball? Maybe you cannot peer into the future and see with certainty what will happen, but you can access your inner wisdom in the present moment to make choices that will impact your future self. Another name for that inner wisdom is intuition. 

Everyone is intuitive. In fact, being intuitive is as natural as breathing. Sometimes our intuition is a quiet whisper that we cannot hear. Sometimes it feels like intuition is hiding behind a great wall. Then there are the times we don’t recognize the voice of intuition as it speaks through our senses. 

First, we need to be aware of how our intuition is gaining our attention. Next we let go of the obstacles that prevent us from understanding our intuition. The final step is responding to our intuition. Moving through these steps may feel like an insurmountable task until it isn’t. I’ll say it a bit differently — accessing our intuition is hard until it isn’t. Like any skill, practice makes connecting to our intuition simpler. Practice doesn’t make perfect; it makes permanent.

Listening to your intuition is about recognizing the ways it knocks on the doors of your consciousness whispering, “Hey! I am here. Listen to me with all your senses.” It is about paying attention to how it shows up in signs, symbols, metaphors — even the words of another can be your intuition speaking. 

Being intuitive is paying attention to catch the nudge and then reflecting upon what you are given. Accessing intuition is like learning a new language and translating it in ways that make sense to you. Your intuitive awareness is as unique as you are. You build the vocabulary of intuition as you learn.

Sounds difficult? Not really. Mostly intuition is about being aware — being in the moment and attending to what is happen. Intuition asks us to be courageous. Don’t fear that you will miss a nudge. Don’t fear that you will interpret it wrong. The nudge will come back louder and louder until you recognize it. 

Try this: For the next several days, notice what is showing up in your life. It could be an animal, bird, plant, numbers, the same topic in conversations; a color — anything that says, “Hey, pay attention! Intuition incoming!” 

Noticing is the first step to understanding and responding to your intuition.

Vanessa Hurst is the author of As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive. As an intuitive catalyst, she guides individuals in recognizing and responding to their intuition. 

Curious?Schedule an intuitive conversation.