Sparks in Wisdom's Fire: November 2022

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

No time to sleep. This time is for you.

Darkness is encroaching into the day. The nights are growing for just a bit longer. Soon it will be the Winter Solstice, but the darkness won’t go poof! and suddenly be gone. The vibrancy, the light, of life is bookended by the lengthening shadows of dawn and dusk.

Within the darkness from dusk to dawn is a chill that doesn’t quite leave even when the sun is high in the sky. Within that dark, I hear the chill whisper, “Listen. Pay attention. The time of harvest is through. No time to sleep. This time is for you.”

The trees are bare. I can hear without summer buffers or the crinkling of fall. Suddenly I see beyond the narrowness of a bountiful nature vision. Maybe you can, too. As the chill whispers through the skeleton trees, the sandman whispers, “Sleep.” We cannot give into this lullaby. We cannot sleep. Within the shortened days and the dark nights, the real work begins!

The coming winter is not a time of easy slumber. It is a time to blow upon the ember of our bravery. To light the dark and chase the chill. Time to dive deeply into the very center of our being. The chill and darkness are not something to escape. They are to be embraced as we waken our courage and resolve.

It’s time to peer into the cracks and crevices of our soul to see what growth sprouts through. To gently take that growth into the palms of our soul. To speak to the growth and listen to what it shares. In the sharing we receive guidance of how to prune and tweak and shape the bonsai tree at our core.

Like that tree, we grow slowly. We grow with a purpose. We are the master garden that looks beyond the now and envisions the dream of what we will be. This is not a time of only dreaming. We must act in ways that bring our dream closer and closer to being.

The days are shorter, the dark is longer. Within the mystery of the coming winter, connect to the bonsai tree at your core and shape it into your dreams realized!

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary.The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

A Magical Mindfulness Formula

Navigating Difficult Conversations

Communication + the Holidays. Right about now you may be wishing that you had brushed up on your communication skills. Picture this: you are at a holiday gathering and get into a conversation with someone doesn’t have the same beliefs that you do. How do you respond to one more alternative fact?

Maybe you get frustrated and are on the verge of saying something rash. Logically, you know that is not the answer. What is the magic formula to not escalating a difficult situation? Instead of forming a reactionary reply, focus on yourself. This isn’t so hard once you follow a magical mindfulness formula.

Yes, you heard me right. The magic begins with a focus on you. Now, this isn’t about falling into a fantasy world where only you exist. It is about listening objectively to what another is saying while noticing the impact that their words have on you. Trust me, this is not as easy as it sounds. While with practice you don’t become perfect, your ability to navigate difficult conversations become permanent.

There isn’t time to take a six-week course on compassionate listening. This is a bootcamp blog: you learn a simple technique that takes the focus off the words of another and puts it onto the emotions triggered inside of you during a conversation. In this heightened state of awareness, you notice how you are getting caught by the words and body language of another.

With this knowledge of your triggers, you can slip from a state of high anxiety into a place of calm understanding. You are better able to traverse the minefield of reactions into the calm peace of response. Let’s bootcamp the simple steps:

Center and anchor yourself. A simple way to do this is to walk coordinating the steps to your breath. Inhale as your roll your right foot heel to toe. Exhale as you roll you left foot heel to toe. As you walk connecting breath to movement, affirm your intent to be aware of your reactions to potential triggers. (I do this as I walk from car to front door of a gathering.)

During a conversation, play attention with your full body. This means listening with all of your senses and checking in with your body, mind, and emotions. Ask yourself: “Is my body tense or relaxed? What is my internal monologue saying? What is my emotional temperature? What is my body, my mind, and ,y emotions telling me?” This is fact finding — noticing the mines in the conversation field and how they may trigger your reactions.

Objectively use information that you have received about how the conversation is impacting you. Maybe you are able to offer objective comments about the topic. Or, perhaps your body, mind, and spirit are shouting at you: “I am being triggered. I cannot maintain neutral. TIME TO GO!” When you feel that an outburst or meltdown is eminent, stop listening to the conversation. Return to your breath. Feel it flow through your body relaxing away tension. Let it soothe any ruffled emotions. Calm your thoughts. Connect more fully to your core. When you are ready, compassionately end the conversation. (For example, you can say, “It was great talking with you. I want to catch up with [insert name]. Thanks again! Have a terrific holiday.)

Remember, you cannot stop the words or actions of another. You can stop your reactions to them. Defuse the ticking time bomb by focusing on your breath. This gives you the energy to show up as your best self.

One last thought: come up with an exit strategy when entering a minefield. You may need to leave the gathering all together. That is perfectly okay. Remember, this is about taking care of you by creating an oasis of calm that you can call upon whenever you find yourself triggered. When you have control over you, there is less of an opportunity to be emotionally hijacked. And, while not perfect, your practice of taking care of you becomes permanent.

Life is all about you. The only way you can help others is by first helping yourself.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Choosing to Twinkle

The first snow of the season gently coated skeleton trees. Coated white, their crispy leaves fell to the ground. I found myself snapping photo after photo of the falling white. The magic of the snow and the click of the camera calmed my soul.

Hours later darkness has fallen and the night lights glint off the remaining snow. Tomorrow the sun will stop hiding. It’s rays will cause melting — goodbye early season snow! For now, I am going to sit in the quiet of the snow and let its balm bring peace to my soul.

Peace of snow. Peace of soul. Do you have a practice of moving out of the disquiet and into the calm? Even when I am not aware of discord, it ruffles my being. It is the unsettledness that will not be denied no matter how much I focus on something else. How do you move from that feeling of something not quite right to neutralizing what is ruffling you? How do you wake the twinkling of hope, joy, and possibility?

Sometimes this twinkling seems just out of reach. How do we move from discord to twinkle? When I slip into the snow-calm, the world that comes to me is simple. Whatever I do, wherever I find myself, however I choose to be, I need to keep it simple. Keeping my response simple increases my awareness. It shines a light on how to live in the unevenness in ways that make me more balanced. Simple is an inside job that opens the door to, well, our inner self.

When we are infused with simple, our focus is on our self. This means that the distractions are more easily identified and the illusions recognized. We can choose not to get caught in the disquiet. What doesn’t catch us, we do not judge. Nonattached, nonjudgmental, we focus on maintaining calm and showing up twinkling…balanced.

First we have to get to that place of being simply our self. For me, today the entrance to that place is snow. The falling fluff calms my anxiety and lets me breathe into wonder. I do admit that if I needed to be somewhere the snow might have had an opposite effect on me. So, finding your simple is about discovering what works for you!

Being in the simple is an ongoing discovery. It is an invitation to listen to the whispers in your soul and discover what calls you in this moment. Ask yourself, “What quiets my spirit and what causes its ruffling?” Then, choose a simple way to soothe your soul. Do this over and over again until simple becomes an intuitive response to the unevenness in your life.

Don’t be afraid of not getting it right. Life invites us into a place where simple and complex clash, and, within the clash, we find the best way forward.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, November 8, 2022

Growing Shadows & Flying Sparks

The shadows grow. The light grows dim. Within the darkness a single flame flickers. Follow it through the angst, the uncertainty. What is this light? It is you.

It is inevitable that the world darkens as we edge into the final weeks of the year. The days grow shorter. The shadows grow longer. (Okay inevitable in the northern hemisphere!) The shadows are not a creepy, dismal place no matter what you have been taught. No, they are a place of curious exploration.

I can almost hear you say, “the shadows are a place of illusions cast.” Well, yeah. Illusions have a purpose, too! Within them are opportunities to find your truth, walk your path, to say to yourself, “Hey! Look at me.” In the looking become the you that you have been all along.

Why do you journey into this place of illusions? To stretch those muscles of curiosity and courage. To learn a bit of what you thought was unknowable. In doing so, to gain clarity about what is hidden within the illusions.

How do you journey into this place of illusions? Now that is the question! Begin by recognizing that the dark’s only illumination is your internal light. Let me say that a bit differently: your light is the only light that matters in the dark. Stop looking for an external beacon — that is part of the illusion that leads you, me, us astray.

Let’s return to the journey. Become quiet in whatever way works best for you. Settle in to the edge of the shadow. Turn within. Seek your flickering flame with all of your senses. Do not doubt that the flame is there. No matter how tiny a flicker, your guidepost is deep within your core.

Having difficulties? Breathe in. Breathe out. Find your breath rhythm. Ask your breath to guide you. Ride your breath trusting that it will bring you to your internal flame. When you find your flame, because you will, blow gently upon it. Feel the flying sparks of courage, of curiosity, of mystery ignite your daring. With daring, walk into the shadow with your body/mind/spirit/heart. Explore the wondrous mystery.

As you walk among the shadows, just notice. You don’t need a macro view. Whatever wishes to gain your attention will speak to you through any of your senses. Do not take what you sense at face value. Just notice. The shadows speak in symbols and signs — of mystery and magic. Allow your inner vision to reveal what you need. Tuck these gems of wisdom into your heart. Know that you can reflect upon them when the time is right.

When you feel that you have enough treasure to reflect upon, retreat from the shadows. Spend time journaling, arting, giving voice to the treasures. As you write, draw, create, you will instinctually separate the illusion from your truth.

Once you hold the wisdom, ask yourself, what shall I do with my truth? Know that this “do” might be to hold it gently in the palm of your hand until it becomes a welcome, wondrous part of you.

Wishing you a grand adventure within the shadows of your soul.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Autumn is Peaking… Time to Let Go & Live!

The leaves are falling and the sky has taken on that decidedly November hue. I realize that Autumn is peaking! As I breathe in the crispness and pile on the layers, I feel the cold nipping at my being. Soon the trees will be bare, and the naked truth revealed.

With the unveiling comes a sense of urgency that ruffles my complacency. It nudges me to wake up. With a groan I shake myself awake and peer into this new, increasingly barren world. What does the March into Autumn have to tell me? I discover the message by listening with my being.

“The time is now,” I hear whispered through the crinkling leaves. “The time is now,” shines through the blustery clouds. “The time is now, do not forget,” Autumn twines into my being.

The time is now for what I ponder? To peer into the changing season with all of my senses. To breathe in the possibility that is already twining through my being. These possibilities nudge me awake. The time is now to joyfully, gratefully walk down my life path. To celebrate my harvest.

Deep within my soul a spark flares. It connects me to the daring, the curiosity, the courage that edges me on. I know that my path doesn’t stop at the harvest. In many ways, my work is just beginning. Now I enter into a time of deep reflection.

As I peer outside my window, I see the reflection of my soul in the changing season. Nature speaks, and, within my soul, is an echo of this beauty. I cannot help but listen to the invitation to reveal who I am.

With all my being, I look at the increasingly barren trees. My sight does not stop there. I peer just beyond them into the mystery of what is coming. Where before the growth prohibited me to look clearly into this place, I can see clearly now.

My dreams once hidden by the glorious growth of summer, are now revealed. All that is left is for me to shuffle through the crinkling leaves and walk toward the horizon of my dreams.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.