Catapulting from Grief to Your Message

Lately a great welling of grief has flooded into an unsuspecting world. Who would have realized on January 1, 2020, that the world would experience so many challenges and face so much loss in less than a year? We often have to remind ourself of the many avalanches that have happened this year. Through the fatigue we are challenged to recognize our grief, stand in our power, and do everything we can to alleviate the suffering that percolates around us. 

All is not dire. We as individuals and as community have an opportunity that cannot be missed. That opportunity is to grow into our message. Gandhi, when asked by a reporter what his message was, simply said, “my life is my message.” Do you know what your message is? How do you discern your message when you are bombarded by the grief that overwhelms  both you and the world? 

Grief is a powerful shaper of the articulation of our message. Let’s use the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — as defined by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in this discernment. What follows is my take on using grief as a discernment spring board.

As you go through each step use full-body listening to get a detailed image of how your grief is expressed. As you answer each question, use your primary senses: sight, hearing, sensing (feeling), smell, and taste to formulate your response. Notice how your body, your mind, your spirit, and your emotions are impacted by the questions. 

Let’s begin:

Denial: What in your life are you not accepting of? What do you avoid, minimize, or misinterpret? What, in this moment, would you name as the most important denial? How is it stopping you from sharing your truth with the world?

Anger: Reflect upon those things that tangle you in denial. How does your anger stem from each? Dig beneath the anger to its roots; discover what triggers the anger inside of you. How is that root impacting your internal monologue, your emotions, your physical body? 

Bargaining: How often do you make the “if this, then that” deal? What do you bargain for? How is your anger a bargaining chip? What is the impact of this bartering on your body, mind, spirit, and heart? What triggers are you willing to neutralize by not bartering?

Depression: Let’s look at depression as feelings of hopelessness that result from reactive anger. Name what you are particularly hopeless about. How can you use the power of your anger to share your message with the world? How is your anger a nonviolent power that triggers transformation?

Acceptance: Look at the answers to the questions regarding the first four stages. Create a panoramic view of what you discovered. Recognize that while you cannot change the situation, you can shift from reaction to response.  How are your reactions and responses to grief impacting your message? What is uplifting in the lessons you are learning? How might you use this knowledge as the foundation of your message? 

Past. Present. Future. It is not just 2020 that catches us in grief. 2020 has stripped away the veneer of normalcy and asked us to peer deeply into our suffering and that of others. This exercise is not one that is meant to trap you in despair. It is meant to give you the power to catapult from the depths of your grief into your message. It is meant to clear the path of hope and compassion in an uncertain world. 

Here’s to realizing your life as your message!

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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