Let’s Get Real

Take a long, loving look at the real is one of my favorite moment checks. It doesn’t ask you to judge, defend, or react in any way. It encourages you to be in the moment. 

I think we can all agree that the current situation offers plenty of opportunities for reaction. Taking a long loving look invites us into the moment objectively.

Begin that long, loving look by asking yourself what is happening in your life. Create a snapshot with these questions and others:  Are you working from home? Laid off? Working in a high risk environment? Do you live alone or with others? Do you have furry friends? Who do you come in contact with daily? How is my current life situation (financial, familial, professional, communal) impacting me? These are important elements affect how your life looks like in the now.

Next, name what helps you stay in the moment. What are your chief relaxers? Who is your support system? How do you get through you day? Identify at least one beneficial that impacts each of the four aspects of your being: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 

Then, identify what stresses you. Make a list of stressors that impact each of your aspects — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Be specific when identifying how they are impacting you.

Now, look at the two lists together. Are you finding ways to reduce stress in all four aspects of your being? If not, identify what you might do to reduce stress in a particular aspect. Focus on simple solutions for relief. 

Let’s look at some examples: 

• Physically: I walk and practice tai chi on the days that I am not at work in an essential business. These keep me active and release built up physical tension.
• Mentally: I journal. I am also alert to when my monkey mind gets carried away. I respond to my internal monologue by rescripting my reaction to the trigger into a response.
• Emotionally: I journal, I tai chi, I listen to music. The intent is to let go of emotional stress with these activities and replace it with joy.
• Spiritually: I reconnect my inner spark to the sacred however and wherever it presents. The intent is to celebrate the interconnectedness of all as I remind myself that I am not alone.

The most important part, for me, is to remember that it is easy to get stuck in the illusion that we craft about the real. We can feel helpless and without control as we ride a runaway train of uncertainty instead of remembering that no matter what situation we find our self in, we can change our reactions to responses. That is what taking a long, loving look is about. 

We get real about what is happening when we take a long, loving look. We acknowledge how we suffer. Then we ask our self what we can do to alleviate the suffering in that moment — be it our suffering or the suffering of another. We practice self compassion and compassion to others. We engage our entire being in that long, loving look. 

This look doesn’t stop with examination. It continues with our response in each moment that we show up as our best compassionate self for ourself and others.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

A Journey Undertaken on the Way Through

There is no way out but through. No shortcut or slipping from one path to another. This path that is ours is long, windy, full of obstacles from beginning to end. There is truly no way out. We  bolster our courage step by step as we wind the way through.

Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation? One in which you just wanted to throw up your hands and walk away? Maybe you walked away only to discover that the essence of the situation followed you. It is only later that you realized that if you had stayed in the situation instead of running, things might be a little more cohesive; you might have gained a clearer reflection of your true self in that moment.

I am not pointing fingers nor am I saying that leaving your path is never a good idea. Sometimes a detour give us a different perspective. But, there have been times that I have tried to circumvent my life path instead of learning my life lessons by moving through it. I have found that a challenge went underground for a time only to resurface later. When it returned, the issues were compounded by time. 

What does it mean to go through? To go through, for me, is taking life as it is as I take a long look at my reality. I am mindful of how my thoughts, words, and actions bring me closer to my true self or create distance. I am curious about what any given moment on the path is teaching me and daring in learning those lessons.

Of course there are moment during which we cannot change our life situations. Even in those moments when we feel paralyzed and out of sorts, we find a way to move through. Perhaps we splash about in the ick of mud knowing that we can and will unearth our seed of true self. In doing so, we grow through the murk toward the true light of our self.

No matter where we find our self, we do not give up on the path of through. Even when we cannot see the light of possibility, we move through our path trusting we are closer to uncovering who we truly are. We move knowing that we have the strength to learn from any situation we find our self in. We celebrate that in moving through that we gain the strength necessary to realize the lessons learned on the through path. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / 
Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

The Energy of Fear: Power vs. Force

I know that you are scared, so am I. We cannot give in to the force of our fear. To do so is to cause minute cracks in our being. Unchecked the force of fear can overwhelm us, shattering us into shards. But, there is a power in our fear that cannot be denied. That power must be harvested with courage for real change to occur. 

Power. Force. Let’s star with definitions based upon the words of Mirriam-Webster:

• Power — the ability to act or produce an effect; mental or moral efficacy; to give impetus to
• Force — compulsion or constraint acted in such a way to do violence; to break open

Let’s tweak the definitions:

• Power is a response that wells from the core of who you are. It is a shout from our authentic self that echoes our courageous self. 
• Force is an overwhelming reaction that fills us with an inability to move through illusion and doubt. Unchecked it shatters us into shards.

It is key to harness the power of your fear so to minimize its destructive force. This begins with acknowledgement of how fear is speaking through your body, mind, and emotions. Name how it is stressfully impacting your body. While you may not fully understand the depth of fear, you can acknowledge its voice. To acknowledge the voice is to reduce the intensity of fear’s symptoms.

Next, be aware of your propensity to respond or react. Name how you use the power of courage to respond. Identify how you get tangled in the force of your fear. Don’t despair when you react. Remind yourself that fear based reaction is a natural byproduct of living. We get scared every day. Sometimes it is so small that we don’t even notice our fear or the subsequent reaction.

Have compassion when you get twisted in fear. To shame yourself is to drive fear deeper into the well of your being. Recognize that you are human. Know that without fear you would not birth courageous response. Celebrate each moment that you harness the courageous power of fear. 

There is no fear without the opportunity for courage. Courage speaks through moments of fear. It gives you the impetus to move through a challenging time into your true self. Start by having a conversation with courage. No matter how quiet, how timid its voice, listen to the words of courage. Decide how, with courage’s guidance, you can kindle the flame of your power. The gesture does not have to be grand; any spark of courage is enough. 

Respond with your power. This can be as simple as a mindfulness practice of breathing through your fear or it can be having a difficult conversation with someone. It can be an act that takes you out of your comfort zone. A courageous response can be present in an infinite number of actions. It may be grand or humble. No matter how you express it, your actions echo with the power of who you are. 

Fear is uncomfortable, inevitable, powerful. It is a wake up call to continue the great quest of soul. Will it wake the tangling of fear vines that cause minute cracks in your being or will it propel you to the heights of your true self? Only you can know that answer and respond with courage and compassion. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Need vs. Want: A Story of Epiphany

How many times have you said, “I need that,” only, in retrospect, to sheepishly admit that it was not a necessity; it was a want. Need versus want: a new pair of shoes, another piece of chocolate, art supplies… (fill in your blank). Do we really need those things are? Or, do they just fill an increasingly bottomless pit eroded by our fears?

How do we tell the difference between the two? It is difficult with our internal monologue shouting over our common sense. Sometimes it is easy — we may not need another pair of shoes or that piece of chocolate. We laugh at our attempt to delude our self. But, other times, we just cannot stop our self from crossing the barren wasteland of our fears and enter the illusive abundance of wants. 

If you are like me, you can mentally see that you have crossed that barrier while, at the same time, labeling a want as a need. Last week, I had an epiphany moment about needs versus wants that was triggered by the actions of others. 

Covid-19, the novel coronavirus, has raised the fear level of everyone I know. The unknown is scary. Walk around any big box store and you see shelves emptied of cleaning supplies, hand sanitizer, and soap. I find myself wondering who actually needs 10 jumbo bottles of hand sanitizer or a case of antibacterial wipes. One woman confided in me that she had purchased $80 of canned good — much of it was items she didn’t like butfelt she needed because of the pandemic. 

These actions are an extreme example, but sometimes it takes an extreme to bring understanding. My epiphany came as I felt compassion for those caught in the shenpa of fear. They were caught in buying stuff not out of need but out of fear-filled want. Of course, I used this moment of epiphany to ask myself, how was I mimicking the foundation of their behavior? How do I get caught in fear and delude myself into believing a want is a need?

There is no shame in getting caught in the illusion of fear-filled want mislabeled as a need. It happens to all of us. It provides an opportunity to reconnect to our core and redefine how we live our life.

• Begin by recalling a time when you labeled something as a need that was really a fear-filled want. Let this illusion settle into your being. 
• Ask how it manifested physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 
• Notice where it speaks to you. 
• Listen to how it speaks to you. Name what it is saying. 

Really listen to the fear bubbling up. Befriend your fear. Ask yourself, “What can I do to alleviate the suffering?” Then, act upon your learning.

Finally, ask, “How can I reconnect to my authentic self and what I really need?” That connection may be the single, most difficult thing that you do today. But, each time that you uncover the illusion of need, it gets easier to confront it. Through this compassionate confrontation you gain the strength to realign with what you truly need in your life. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

Be Still: The Art of Juggling & Letting Go

When juggling, sometimes you just need to let the balls drop. Let them crash to the ground. Be still. Let go. Survey the debris. 

I have discovered that I am not a master juggler. Sure, most days I seem to keep the balls in the air, but every once in a while, I drop one or two or three. This slippery balls bounce off my fingertip crashing to the ground. Maybe those falling balls provide a moment of respite and regathering. 

What follows may be a good old, messy cry. Those tears release the angst, the fear, the frustration and bring calm. Only in that moment of calm can we really look at the debris littering the ground of our being. With new eyes we are more discerning as we ask our self, “what do we really need?” And, “what do we no longer need?”

Before we answer those questions, we practice self compassion. That alleviation of suffering actually began with that messy cry and our refusal to act as if everything is okay. It continues in every act of kindness toward self. Perhaps we savor a cup of tea or nibble a square of chocolate. We go for a walk. Each act eases our suffering and brings us balance.

Then we answer the questions beginning with what we need; what is working in our life. Focus on the positive first. It lays the foundation for the hard reflection later. Find ways to celebrate what is working — the balls that you want to pick up and juggle yet again. No matter how small or seemingly inconsequential, name it. 

Next, ask what you no longer need. Now, this is tough, because we wouldn’t have got to the place of dropped balls if we knew deep inside what we didn’t need, what we are willing to let go. Name it. Even if you believe that you cannot let go, be with your desire to not need whatever is causing suffering. That is the tough part. Trust that in time, when the suffering is rubbed clean, that you will be able to let it go. 

Celebrate the fact that you are able to juggle. Now everyone has such an agile way of meeting life. You obviously do. Pick up the balls that need to be in the air and juggle away knowing somehow, some way, you got this.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook /

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020