Have you ever felt a deep shame or overwhelming grief over something that you had done? Unacknowledged, the memory returns again and again until it turns into an impenetrable knot. It weighs you down, wears you down, until your only action is reaction to that memory.
The memory does not have to control your life. Forgiveness quiets the voice of that memory while triggering breaks in the threads of shame and grief. This is not the forgiveness of an outward action during which you ask for forgiveness of another; no, this is an internal response of self-forgiveness.
Through self-forgiveness, I’ve realized that sometimes we make life much more difficult than what it is. Through courageous action, life is not difficult. It is only when we cling to the despair of coulda, shoulda, woulda, we get trapped in an endless cycle of what if. The twining of that knot into our core seem so entrenched that we cannot unravel from it.
An amazing thing happens when we forgive our self. We don’t have to untwine that knot. Through self-forgiveness that knot disintegrates. We feel lighter, more energized. From the dust, we the power to own the beauty of who we are.
Forgiveness is an inside job that impacts our relationship with the external world. It is a difficult action — make no mistake about it. Self forgiveness involves more than forgiving yourself for hurting another person. Self forgiveness is an acknowledgement of the grief and shame you carry. It means forgiving yourself for engaging in situations that culminated in your being hurt. Self-forgiveness is an affirmation of your worth.
How do we forgive our self?
- Acknowledge to yourself how the action that was hurtful — to yourself or to another person.
- Feel how and where the hurt has lodged in you. Describe it with all of your senses.
- Ask yourself what is behind those feelings of hurt. (Stuck? Some words: betrayal, abandonment, unloveable). What are yours?
- Hold those feelings in the palm of your hand. Breathe love into them. Connect to your heart. Allow the well of your compassion to surround them. Own how you feel. Consciously forgive yourself. Continue until you feel peace.
- Surrounded by peace, ask “How can I change?” Small steps grow into great transformation.
It may take time for this peace to become a stable, integral part of you. Remember this. Be gentle with your self as you shower love and compassion on yourself knowing that when stuff happens, forgiveness is key and you matter.
Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.
Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020
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