Don’t Cling So Tight (The Art of Letting Go)

I grew up in an era where the phrase “let go, let god,” was the way to connect with the Sacred. Seldom did I experience what I thought was letting go: a total fall into the arms of the Sacred. I wondered what was the matter with me until I understood it wasn’t me — it was my interpretation of those four words.

For some time I have grown more and more tangled in a situation. No matter how much I tried to let go, I found myself more tangled. The tightening bands of attachment cut deeper and deeper into my spirit. I despaired that I would ever be able to let go. Taking a step back from this experience, I recognized that I was clinging too tightly. 

After a particularly bad moment that resulted from clinging to what I could not change, I finally had the talk with myself. I could not continue on the path I was on. I knew that I needed to take two steps back from the situation that had me so tightly tied in knots. I needed to be objective about the experience before I could find a way to slip from the knots that bound me. 

The stepping back began with reflection. I objectively reflected upon what triggered my clinging. Then through introspection, I gained an understanding of why I was clinging so tightly. What followed the identification and understanding of what was triggering my clinging was the difficult part — paying attention to how I was getting hooked over and over again. I used the power of my breath to flow through my addiction-like tendency to get trapped by the tightening knots. Through my breath I discovered in real time how and why I was being caught.

This was not easy. As I reflect upon the past several weeks, I see that things have lightened — knots have loosened. Instead of my frustration morphing into anger, I now identify the frustration at the root of my clinging. It doesn’t have anything to do with another; it has everything to do with my reaction to the situation. So, I ask myself, “What you can do in the moment to alleviate your frustration?” I listen to the answer wafting from my intuition. Then, I act upon it. Any potential reaction is neutralized. The energy of letting go powers my response.

Slowly by slowly the grip of my clinging has lessened in this situation. I have discovered that letting go is less about flinging myself into an abyss and trusting that I will fly and more about leaning into my awareness with courage, trust, and resolve. When I lean into awareness, I catch the thermal of letting go and ride it on sacred wings.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020

A Living, Breathing Gratitude Journal

Wisdom often comes from the least expected sources. As an example: a coworker shared her perception of a current situation with me. It wasn’t until after she left that I comprehended what she told me. She understood what she had, but there was little appreciation for it. That realization just made me sad. 

Instead of getting stuck in that sorrow for more than I moment or so, I engaged the reframe. (The power of the reframe is strong within me.) Instead of judging her, my internal voice asked me when I experienced what I perceived she was experiencing — when my understanding was disconnected from my appreciation. Or, what was present in my life that I understood but did not appreciate? 

As the memories slowly trickled in, I was humbled by many things that I take for granted. I recognized the number of seeds that my lack of gratitude planted in the ground of my being. I asked myself, in this moment, how I could shift to a place of gratitude? This shift requires an ongoing commitment to the bridge between my understanding and appreciation. 

My biggest takeaway from all of this? Not to take anything for granted. There is no understanding and moving on without gratitude. Even if I only spend a brief moment acknowledging my gratitude and feeling it course through my being, that is enough. It is not the duration of the gratitude that matters, it is the act of gratitude itself.

When we commit to this way of being, we do not keep a gratitude journal, we become a gratitude journal. How do we do this? Here are some simple tips:

• Set your intent each morning to find those things of which you are grateful. 
• When you come upon one, internally or externally, vocalize your appreciation. This might be a whisper in your mind or words uttered from your mouth or even a physical expression.
• It is inevitable that you will miss an opportunity for gratitude. Whenever you recognize it, acknowledge what your appreciation in that moment in the most appropriate way. 

When we live in gratitude, we consciously and intentionally share its spirit with everyone we meet. In doing so, we become a beacon of unconditional love and support in an uncertain world.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020 

A Brief Moment in Time: Experiencing the Pause

Rhythm is found not in musical notes but in the spaces between them. Meaning is found not in the words but in the silence between syllables. Understanding of Tai Chi body/mind/spirit connection is not found in the inhale/exhale but in the space between them. 

The pause is found in every thing we do. It is vitally important to how we respond or react. How often have you missed the meaning within a pause? How often was a trigger being flipped before a pause was identified? I know that I have flipped triggers more often than I comfortably admit. 

Through the pause our intuitive awareness activates. We notice nuances, even patterns, and find meaning within them. Those pauses are the weave that connects the essence of who we are to our intent and action. 

Perhaps one of our greatest challenges is learning to live in the pause. We can only be in that space when we are in the moment. The past no longer pulls us at with its regrets and remorse. The future’s lure of hopes and dreams loses its allure. 

Now, I am not saying that the grief of the past should stay unresolved or that we should never have hopes and dreams. What I am saying is that we cannot afford to be any where other than the present moment. For when we are here now, we find the energy to carefully nurture the seeds of possibility that are found only in the pause.

What I am proposing is that we acknowledge what pulls us from the moment and muddies our connect to the present moment. Part of the acknowledgment is to take opportunities to feel the poignancy of what intrudes and then heal those parts of us wounded by the past.

As for the hopes and dreams, let’s ask our self what we can do, in the moment to nurture the seeds of hopes and dreams. It is not enough to admire our hopes and dreams; we must find way to bring them alive in this moment. 

How we resolve our past and bring fruition to the future are birthed in the pause. For within it, we are able to understand without logically knowing which is the best path on this journey. Using this understanding we discern how to move from each moment while creating the life we are meant to have. 

So, how do you get to a place where you comfortably and actively engage the pause? Here are just some suggestions. Each practice session need only be 90-seconds or so.

• Listen to how the rhythm of music is impacted by the moments of pause.
• Listen to how the pause impacts a conversations.
• Walk and find the pause in your gait.

This practice helps you develop an awareness of how the pause presents itself to you. Through practice your awareness of what opportunity presents itself in the pause increases. Notice:

• In music: how does the pause shift your energy?
• In conversation: what meanings do you grasp within the pause?
• In walking: what does the pause tell you about your physical balance?

Recognizing the pause is a way of welcoming richness into your life. The pause is the home of transformation. Using the information gained in the pause shifts your reactions to an increasingly uncertain world to responses.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020  

Forgiveness: An Inside Job

Have you ever felt a deep shame or overwhelming grief over something that you had done? Unacknowledged, the memory returns again and again until it turns into an impenetrable knot. It weighs you down, wears you down, until your only action is reaction to that memory.

The memory does not have to control your life. Forgiveness quiets the voice of that memory while triggering breaks in the threads of shame and grief. This is not the forgiveness of an outward action during which you ask for forgiveness of another; no, this is an internal response of self-forgiveness.

Through self-forgiveness, I’ve realized that sometimes we make life much more difficult than what it is. Through courageous action, life is not difficult. It is only when we cling to the despair of coulda, shoulda, woulda, we get trapped in an endless cycle of what if. The twining of that knot into our core seem so entrenched that we cannot unravel from it. 

An amazing thing happens when we forgive our self. We don’t have to untwine that knot. Through self-forgiveness that knot disintegrates. We feel lighter, more energized. From the dust, we the power to own the beauty of who we are. 

Forgiveness is an inside job that impacts our relationship with the external world. It is a difficult action — make no mistake about it. Self forgiveness involves more than forgiving yourself for hurting another person. Self forgiveness is an acknowledgement of the grief and shame you carry. It means forgiving yourself for engaging in situations that culminated in your being hurt. Self-forgiveness is an affirmation of your worth. 

How do we forgive our self?

• Acknowledge to yourself how the action that was hurtful — to yourself or to another person. 
• Feel how and where the hurt has lodged in you. Describe it with all of your senses.
• Ask yourself what is behind those feelings of hurt. (Stuck? Some words: betrayal, abandonment, unloveable). What are yours?
• Hold those feelings in the palm of your hand. Breathe love into them. Connect to your heart. Allow the well of your compassion to surround them. Own how you feel. Consciously forgive yourself. Continue until you feel peace.
• Surrounded by peace, ask “How can I change?” Small steps grow into great transformation.

It may take time for this peace to become a stable, integral part of you. Remember this. Be gentle with your self as you shower love and compassion on yourself knowing that when stuff happens, forgiveness is key and you matter.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive, Coach, Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa  (vanessa@intentandaction.com) for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook /

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2020