For too long people have told me that I am an angry woman. And, that has been my shame. Why couldn’t I douse my anger? Why couldn’t I be a gentle woman? Why couldn’t I replace my anger with peace and love? The more I tried to be less angry, the more my anger forced itself out sideways.
Last Wednesday I listened to the1a.org segment on women and rage. Those 47 minutes were paradigm shifting for me. Strong women are seldom respected. They are asked to pretzel themselves into an antiquated, unrealistic way of being. And, then those demanded that certain pose marvel at the anger that comes out sideways.
Although I have been assured by younger women that strong women are respected in this time, I look at recent events and am not so sure.
Maybe I am less an angry woman and more a woman who gets angry at circumstances. I find myself wondering how I can own the power of my anger instead of ignoring it until it seeps through the cracks of my weary facade and explodes sideways into the world. Instead of my anger fueling an unhinged reaction, how can it power a response to injustice? Harnessing the power of my anger and generating a nonviolent response would be a paradigm shift of epic proportions!
Let’s return to the idea of power vs. force. We live in a world that is imperfect and uncertain. We cannot create a perfect world where there is always peace and calm — there are too many external factors that force cracks in our internal peace. But, we can use the power of each emotion — including anger — to create a grounded, protected space from which we are able to respond compassionately to the world.
So, what does this paradigm of using the power of anger look life? When we get angry, we consciously acknowledge that anger instead of talking our self out of our feelings or ignoring the building rage. We own our anger. This ownership means harnessing the power of our anger. We choose the path that our anger will guide us down. We turn reactionary behavior into compassionate response. We are strong and gentle, courageous and compassionate in the face of uncertainty. We are free to be the powerful beings that we have always been but didn’t realize.
Yes, I am an angry woman. But, I will no longer let that be a source of shame. I will befriend my anger — stoke its fire not to lash out and spew suffering in the world. No, I will befriend my anger and use the power of this friendship to practice the compassion of enough+ to myself and others.
Through my anger, through my compassion of enough+, suffering is incinerated and its ashes flow away on compassion’s breath.
How do you use the power of your anger to shift into a paradigm of compassion?
Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.
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