Navigating the Dark

Snow is falling somewhere. Looking out my kitchen window the last green leaves are turning brown. The cold is whispering into my bones. Oh, and, the snow is falling somewhere.

As we edge closer to the shortest day of the year, the darkness seems more pervasive. Maybe it is the sudden onset of cold after a long, hot summer followed by a brief but warm autumn. Maybe it is the cloud cover and the lack of sun. Maybe my eyes are closed and I cannot see the bright flickers of compassionate presence all around me.  No matter the reason, I remind myself to rest gently in the darkness and listen.

Someone reminded me a couple of weeks ago that light doesn’t banish the dark. “Vanessa, turning on a light just allows the cockroaches to scatter,” he said as I shuddered at the image. But, he was right: we cannot rid our self of anything when we turn on the light. The only magic the light brings is awareness. We see clearly and use this clarity to navigate through the challenges and lessons that live in the dark.

I have found two things are important for navigating the dark. The first is self-compassion. Alleviating our personal suffering begins with an intentional, loving look at our personal real. We look at what is happening from our unique perspective and are honest about what we see. Maybe the world is still a dark, scary, unsettling place, but at least we know that.

Through a loving look at our real, we gain knowledge. Knowledge is the fuel that powers us through our challenges into the new. On the way to this new, our woundedness is revealed. From our wounds seep suffering. Without the long, loving look, we may continue to ignore the wounds or deny their presence in our life.

But, the long loving look will not allow us to live in the dark unaware. Through it, we better understand our suffering. We open our heart to our self. Compassion directed toward the self is permission giving and soul healing. As we acknowledge why we feel the way we feel, we lance the boil of our suffering. We fill this cleansed space with compassion.

The second important component is connection. We are not meant to live in isolation. Relationship is the human condition. Together we are stronger. When we listen to one another, and are listened to, we gain information that leads to a broader understanding. This understanding is a vehicle through which compassion travels to our self, other, across the global community — compassion travels throughout this wild, wonderful world.

With each person we connect, our collective light shines brighter. We really see. With our vision cleared, we feel and hear the integrity nested in each heart. Heartbeat to heartbeat, we connect in compassion. The darkness doesn’t dissipate. Through our hearts’ connection we walk through the dark showering sparks of compassion that lay in the wake of each connection.

The darkness is not a place where we close our eyes and slumber. The darkness merely asks that we acknowledge our fear. Eyes wide open, we act not to harm but to alleviate. We act to meet challenges and bring our self, individually and collectively, into a new day. The dark requires that we engage our life fully armed with compassion. With courage and curious daring, we shift the world in beautiful ways.

Together we don’t banish the darkness; we navigate through it into a brighter, more compassionate place. A spark of light is only spark until it is joined by another and another and another. Join me in building a bonfire of compassion,

Vanessa

Vanessa F. Hurst is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who interweaves her inner wisdom in all she touches. Contact Vanessa

Her books are A Constellation of Connections: ContemplativeRelationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com