It's Your Turn — Choose

We are in the midst of the most beautiful time of the  year — autumn. Okay, I might be biased. This has always been my favorite season. Maybe it’s because I am filled with relief after the heat of summer. Maybe it’s the brilliant splashes of earth tone colors. Maybe it’s the fact that my birthday happens just days after the autumnal equinox. Maybe I love the season for reasons I am not even conscious of.

I do not know the reason, but autumn has always pulled me back into the moment. As the leaves turn colors, crinkle up, and drop from the trees, I catch glimpses of tree skeletons. In those bare-boned trees, I recognize that although change is inevitable, I do have a choice. I can be stuck in the moment or realize that the letting go is happening with or without me.

So choose — to let go of the inevitable or cling to what no longer fits. I can hear you saying, “But, is that really a choice?  What kind of choice is the lesser?” To which I reply, “Yes, it is choice. Sometimes the lesser is greater than we ever realized.” 

In the choosing we acknowledge that when we cling to what no longer fits, we suffer. Because life is difficult until it is not. With each choice, we choose the degree of suffering we experience. Clinging to something that is ill fitting to our soul deepens suffering. The more we choose to ignore the inevitable, the more deeply roots of suffering twine into our soul until we can no longer separate the suffering from who we truly are. We become the suffering.

We make a choice but don’t have to be stuck in that choice. We can always decide to try something else. And, in that decision, we practice self compassion. We choose to love our self, to forgive our self, to heal those wounded parts of our self. 

Maybe we only choose a different path when we realize that we can stay in the ugly of suffering or we can choose a different way. Choice is always painted with the brush of beauty. For choice is fresh air, ruffling of leaves, a revelation of what is buried beneath our suffering.

The best thing about choice? No matter what we choose, if we don’t like the choice, we can always choose again. Regardless of what happens, we can combat any choice induced suffering with self-compassion. When we practice self-compassion we love our self, forgive our self, heal those parts of us wounded by our experiences and misinformed choices.

I am not saying any choice is easy. Seldom does one single choice spin our life 180 degrees. I am not saying that we will never experience radical change with one choice. In reality a change begins with that first choice of a series. Through rolling decisions, we clear suffering, heal wounds, and ultimately come home to ourself.

Life is a series of choices — rolling moments that invite us to mimic the autumn trees. To rejoice in life as it changes, to let go of what is shriveled and no longer fits, to willingly prepare for that period of dormancy, to know that rebirth is ongoing, continuous. 

So, no matter what I choose, I commit to let go and practice self-compassion to alleviate my suffering. How about you? 

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating life choices. The result of time with Van? Creating a blue print for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2021 

Is There a Message in a Memory?

Is There a Message in a Memory? Of course.

Misty color water memories of the way things were.

Memories. We all have them. Sometimes we remember the joy-filled, the celebrations of our life. Other times we remember the hitches, the sorrow and grief. 

I’ve always loved the line from the Barbra Streisand song, “misty water color memories of the way we were.” Of course, when I sing that line, I change the “we” to “things.” Sometimes, more often than we like to admit, our memories are misty water color — they represent how we see what happened and not always what is real. Our socially constructed reality blurs the real.

There are scientific studies that provide blueprints for how we remember what we remember — this includes the misty water color blur. I have a hunch as to why memories surface at unexpected times. I believe that they are the vessels of intuitive messages. So, when we remember, our intuition is speaking through the memories.

Memories aren’t the easiest bringers of intuition. Memories can be hard. Memories can be painful. They bring up high emotion times in our life. It is easy to shut them down. What happens if we don’t shy away from a memory but experience it fully? I am not talking about traumatic memories that are best explored with a therapist; I am speaking of the memories that rise into our consciousness unexpectedly. 

When those memories are intuitive messages, they knock on the window of my consciousness again and again waking me to the message. Only then can I peer into their misty watercolor depths. When I step into the memory, I take care not to be caught, entangled, in the memory’s emotions. Objective, I peer into that window while welcoming any emotions into my presence. 

How do we intuitively listen to the message in the memory?

• Anchor yourself in the moment. Once simple way is to visualize your breath flowing throughout your body.
• Envision your body, mind, spirit, and heart as smooth with no glitches on which something can get hung up.
• Welcome the memory through your words, thoughts, and actions. You might envision a smile and a beckoning motion with your hand.
• Allow the memory to wash over you knowing that it cannot snag you, trap you, or catch you in any way. 
• Open to the intuitive message.
• As it flows over you, notice any sensations including emotions, words, understandings. Don’t force the message, be with it.
• Intend that the meaning behind the memory surfaces. Be patience. It may take several resurfacings of the memory before you actual understand the message behind it.
• Ask yourself how best to act upon the message.
• Act!

Let’s make this real! I had a memory wash over me this morning. I clearly realized that this memory, really everything in my life, was from my perspective. I can’t wear the lenses of another’s experience. No matter how hard I try, I may never understand another or their experience. I clearly saw the holes of misunderstanding within the memory. This misunderstanding was built upon this lack of awareness. With this realization I recognized that it was okay. It needed to let it go.

The memory was like a practice of tonglen. (Check out this video for more on tonglen.) This is a core contemplative practice for bodhisattvas or compassion warriors who conquer the world not through violence or aggression but through gentleness, courage, and self-knowledge. It is a way of mindfully sending and receiving compassion. It awakens our natural empathy which is at the foundation of compassionate action.

So, I breathed in the memory. As it became lighter, the suffering dissipated. Beneath the suffering was the message that I had been waiting for…no fault…time to let go…time to open to what is…

What is the message in your memory? And, how might tonglen help you move through the misty watercolor memory and understand the intuitive message? 

 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is an Intuitive-Coach-Catalyst, who uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for personal and relationship transformation. She is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / @fyrserpent / ©2021