Tricky Coyote Words: I Am Sorry

Tricky coyote words casting us into a healer’s world of realization, responsibility, recognition

I am sorry — three poignant words. Within them is the power to defuse suffering, quiet anger, create peace. Three words. When I use them, I find less is more of an apology. 

How many times have you received or given an apology that begins with “I am sorry…” and ends with an excuse or a lack of responsibility? Some of my least favorite tag-ons: I am sorry IF/I am sorry BUT. I find myself wondering where the heck is that all about? I remind myself, “less is more.” In the less I show up humble and vulnerable.

I am sorry are tricky coyote words that cast us into a different realm. When we say these words humbly and vulnerably, we truly believe that we have hurt another and believe we need to give voice to our sorrow. In those words, we gain the opportunity to make amends. We form those words within the realm of realization, responsibility, and reconciliation. 

Realization

Each of us is imperfect. Inner imperfection shaken, we lash out, we hurt another, inevitably we cause suffering. I do not believe that we want to be hurtful; our actions come from those deeply wounded parts of our self. 

Being sorry begins with the realization that those wounded parts of our self were triggered. We lashed out and hurt another. Once we recognize our hurtful actions, we are able to name the hurt that we caused. We recognize that this hurt is less about how we were triggered us and all about our reactions. This realization is the beginning of responsibility. 

Responsibility 

Taking responsibility pushes us deeper into the cracks of our imperfections. Without courage, we continue to be stuck in our stuff. It takes both courage and fortitude to enter that place of imperfection and accept that our shadows are as much us as our light.

We accepting our triggers  is a way of standing in our power. They are challenges to meet and lessons to learn. Being responsible means shifting from reaction to response. We realize that we can remain in a state of status quo of being hurtful or we can use these three powerful words, I am sorry, to bring us and others to a place of healing.

Reconciliation

An act of reconciliation is a holistic practice of healing. We show up as who we really are. It is disconcerting to show up authentic, humble, and vulnerable. As we reconcile our hurts, we cast our light into the dark of our actions. In doing so we make amends.  

Saying I am sorry is saying, I screwed up. This is not who I want to being. I want to be better. Please forgive me. 

We act knowing that the other person might not be able to accept our apology. But we know that we are willing to gift another with our apology.  In this gift-giving, we transform into the person that is no less wounded but more healed. 

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature. 

Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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