Someone experiences the death of a loved one. An unexpected illness. A disappointment. A perceived failure. What do you say? How do you respond in events like these? That is a tough question for which there are no easy answers.
Often I think to myself, “I just want to make this better. How can I do that?” Yet, I feel impotent as I admit to myself that I’ve got no idea how to put my empathy and compassion into words. I so want to alleviate their suffering, make their world a little less uneven. Even for this writer, words seem a paltry response.
I’ve come to realize that sometimes there is nothing I can do, nothing I can say, to make the situation better. Sometimes the only thing that I can do is to do nothing. Show up in wordless solidarity.
Okay, maybe this doing nothing sounds counterintuitive. This isn’t the nothing that ignores the pain and suffering of another. This is the nothing that asks us to surrender into the moment and open to our intuitive whispers. This surrender is found by resting in the silence, breathing into our core, and igniting the sparks of our empathy.
While this nothing has no words and, at times, no noticeable actions, it is filled with the energy of empathy. This energy is found within the silence at your core. Breathe into your core to get an inkling of the emotions — the despair, agony, suffering of another. You hear not words but feel the current of another’s energy.
Identifying this energy that is not yours is empathetic understanding. This understanding often has no words. It reaches out and tangles itself in us. Only in the tangling do we give it words. Those internal words bring us to wisdom. With this wisdom, we discern the best way to compassionately respond to another. Our tendrils of compassion reach out to the other in a variety of ways.
Maybe we find words. It may be gently saying, “I’ve got no words, but I am here for you.” It might be a gentling of your eyes as you look at them with unconditional love. It may be a non-contact embrace through body language. And, yes, it could be a physical hug. Your respond is gentle, unassuming, with no agenda. It is as varied as your compassionate response.
No agenda. That one is tough because we all want to do something to make the person feel better. Yet we might struggle to know what that it. We do not need to know. What we do need to do is to show up for other other person. Be present in ways that they need. That means listening with the whole of your body to their cues.
How do we we listen with the whole of our being? By listening with the ears of our heart, holding another in the palm of our soul. Offering them the unconditional love beating within our hearts. Showing up humble and vulnerable. Being a vessel through which compassion and empathy flows. Those are ways of showing up as you but not for you.
Maybe you believe that “I’ve got no words.” But, words are not always spoken. Sometimes words are best said through the unspoken compassion in our heart.
Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Van for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.
Van had certificates in Reiki, Quantum Healing, and medical intuitive training. She has a master’s degree in Natural Health and is a certified coach. She is currently being certified in spiritual direction.
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