Sparks in Wisdom's Fire: September 2022

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

in the messiness

Surrender into life, be in the messiness, live within the wonder — that is all, that is enough

Sometimes we run so fast — away from or toward, who knows? — that we don’t notice the slippery mud that splatters our shoes. Maybe we even think, “If I stop, I will be sucked into this quagmire.” Or, “I’m almost there, I can’t stop now.” We run and run until we drop from exhaustion right into that slimy quagmire that we feared.

Now what? Well, we can no longer ignore our circumstances. So, we stop. Survey the landscape. Maybe point out the positives, you know, those things that we like. At some point we realize that in order to avoid falling into the messiness, we’ve got to do something. That something is to realize that while we do need to identify what is going on, we don’t have to like where we find our self.

What do we do with what we know?

Be in the messiness

Seldom can we say, “I am done with this mess. I am starting anew.” First we need to be in the messiness. Unless we resolve the mess, it follows us. If we ignore it, the mess grows into yet a bigger monster. So, be in the messiness no matter what is happening.

You don’t have to like your current situation. That is a given. Accept that within the messiness are gems — challenges to meet and lessons to learn. The messiness invites us to be this courageous warrior that braves the messy not to slay dragons but to befriend them. Once befriended, we use the dragon’s strength to bolster our own as we surrender into the messiness.

Surrender into the life

Surrender is not an act of giving up. By surrendering, we objectively enter the tangle of the quagmire. We witness what has us in knots and what is unraveling. We see how we slip through some loosened knots and what needs to be untangled a little bit more. All the time we breathe into the moment. Find our calm. Find the courage and the strength to work our way out of the messiness.

The more we surrender, the easier it is to see what calls us out of the messiness. We become part of the magic energy of transformation! That magic energy is the wonder threaded through the messiness.

Live within the wonder that is your life

Messiness does not exist in a vacuum. Where there is messiness, there is wonder. Sometimes we have to dig deep to find the wonder tangled in the threads of messy. Trust me, it is there. Sometimes this discovery means asking yourself where the wonder is and then holding on to those morsels of hope. No matter how difficult the situation, the light of ourself — when we believe in our self— glints off of challenges and brings us through the other side.

Hoping you find the wonder during your time in the messy!

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Tricky Coyote Words: I Am Sorry

Tricky coyote words casting us into a healer’s world of realization, responsibility, recognition

I am sorry — three poignant words. Within them is the power to defuse suffering, quiet anger, create peace. Three words. When I use them, I find less is more of an apology.

How many times have you received or given an apology that begins with “I am sorry…” and ends with an excuse or a lack of responsibility? Some of my least favorite tag-ons: I am sorry IF/I am sorry BUT. I find myself wondering where the heck is that all about? I remind myself, “less is more.” In the less I show up humble and vulnerable.

I am sorry are tricky coyote words that cast us into a different realm. When we say these words humbly and vulnerably, we truly believe that we have hurt another and believe we need to give voice to our sorrow. In those words, we gain the opportunity to make amends. We form those words within the realm of realization, responsibility, and reconciliation.

Realization

Each of us is imperfect. Inner imperfection shaken, we lash out, we hurt another, inevitably we cause suffering. I do not believe that we want to be hurtful; our actions come from those deeply wounded parts of our self.

Being sorry begins with the realization that those wounded parts of our self were triggered. We lashed out and hurt another. Once we recognize our hurtful actions, we are able to name the hurt that we caused. We recognize that this hurt is less about how we were triggered us and all about our reactions. This realization is the beginning of responsibility.

Responsibility

Taking responsibility pushes us deeper into the cracks of our imperfections. Without courage, we continue to be stuck in our stuff. It takes both courage and fortitude to enter that place of imperfection and accept that our shadows are as much us as our light.

We accepting our triggers is a way of standing in our power. They are challenges to meet and lessons to learn. Being responsible means shifting from reaction to response. We realize that we can remain in a state of status quo of being hurtful or we can use these three powerful words, I am sorry, to bring us and others to a place of healing.

Reconciliation

An act of reconciliation is a holistic practice of healing. We show up as who we really are. It is disconcerting to show up authentic, humble, and vulnerable. As we reconcile our hurts, we cast our light into the dark of our actions. In doing so we make amends.

Saying I am sorry is saying, I screwed up. This is not who I want to being. I want to be better. Please forgive me.

We act knowing that the other person might not be able to accept our apology. But we know that we are willing to gift another with our apology. In this gift-giving, we transform into the person that is no less wounded but more healed.

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

I Got No Words

Someone experiences the death of a loved one. An unexpected illness. A disappointment. A perceived failure. What do you say? How do you respond in events like these? That is a tough question for which there are no easy answers.

Often I think to myself, “I just want to make this better. How can I do that?” Yet, I feel impotent as I admit to myself that I’ve got no idea how to put my empathy and compassion into words. I so want to alleviate their suffering, make their world a little less uneven. Even for this writer, words seem a paltry response.

I’ve come to realize that sometimes there is nothing I can do, nothing I can say, to make the situation better. Sometimes the only thing that I can do is to do nothing. Show up in wordless solidarity.

Okay, maybe this doing nothing sounds counterintuitive. This isn’t the nothing that ignores the pain and suffering of another. This is the nothing that asks us to surrender into the moment and open to our intuitive whispers. This surrender is found by resting in the silence, breathing into our core, and igniting the sparks of our empathy.

While this nothing has no words and, at times, no noticeable actions, it is filled with the energy of empathy. This energy is found within the silence at your core. Breathe into your core to get an inkling of the emotions — the despair, agony, suffering of another. You hear not words but feel the current of another’s energy.

Identifying this energy that is not yours is empathetic understanding. This understanding often has no words. It reaches out and tangles itself in us. Only in the tangling do we give it words. Those internal words bring us to wisdom. With this wisdom, we discern the best way to compassionately respond to another. Our tendrils of compassion reach out to the other in a variety of ways.

Maybe we find words. It may be gently saying, “I’ve got no words, but I am here for you.” It might be a gentling of your eyes as you look at them with unconditional love. It may be a non-contact embrace through body language. And, yes, it could be a physical hug. Your respond is gentle, unassuming, with no agenda. It is as varied as your compassionate response.

No agenda. That one is tough because we all want to do something to make the person feel better. Yet we might struggle to know what that it. We do not need to know. What we do need to do is to show up for other other person. Be present in ways that they need. That means listening with the whole of your body to their cues.

How do we we listen with the whole of our being? By listening with the ears of our heart, holding another in the palm of our soul. Offering them the unconditional love beating within our hearts. Showing up humble and vulnerable. Being a vessel through which compassion and empathy flows. Those are ways of showing up as you but not for you.

Maybe you believe that “I’ve got no words.” But, words are not always spoken. Sometimes words are best said through the unspoken compassion in our heart.

Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Van for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Van had certificates in Reiki, Quantum Healing, and medical intuitive training. She has a master’s degree in Natural Health and is a certified coach. She is currently being certified in spiritual direction.

Tuesday, September 6, 2022

Oh Those Scary Places!

The world is this magical, wondrous, uncertain place. Sometimes I grapple for the words that will make the world a little less uncertain, a bit more harmonious, somewhat more in alignment with who I am. Then I realize that this world is a magical, mysterious uncertain place that I am meant to navigate with fierce courage.

Yes, the world is devastatingly uncertain. That can be scary. Don’t we all want some certainty in our life? I know that I do. What’s that saying? Oh, yeah: the only things certain are death and taxes. True or not, we want so much more to be certain while never realizing that life is meant to be lived courageously within the cracks of uncertainty.

What are within those cracks of uncertainty? Drawer nearer. Listen closely. Seeping through those crevices are our hope, our dreams — the very essence of life.

It’s in the navigating of uncertainty, the rising to the inherent challenges, that is so fulfilling. We can dive fiercely into those cracks and discover what is hidden in the crevices OR we can timidly squeeze our eyes shut refusing to go into those places that scare us.

Oh these scary places! If you are like me, you’ve spent a lot of time with eyes scrunched tightly shut followed by moments of lamentation. “How much opportunity did I miss?” & “Could that opportunity have been the BIG one?” When we don’t glide through those cracks of uncertainty, we cannot know for certain those answers.

Because we did not take the leap into the chasm of uncertainty, we weren’t able to discover the shimmer of hope, the mystery of our potential, the magic of possibility. We could not follow the iridescent threads leading to dreams sparked by the essence of our life.

How do we meet challenges? By showing up fiercely, wildly courageous? Acknowledge the uncertainty. Own the fear. Actively question where the opportunity is. Even if you cannot identify the uncertainty, the fear, the possibility, know that they are present. Know that opportunity doesn’t always manifest on our timeline. It happens when we intentionally listen to our intuition and respond to what is said.

Be mindful. Possibility rises up in the most inopportune moments. Our intuition is a trickster. It wants to see if we are truly listening, paying attention. All we can do is trust that within us is the knowing to guide us through the magical wonder of uncertainty and into the possibility of living with purpose. And, that we are prepared to listen to its guidance.