I’ve got a secret

I’ve got a secret. Wanna know what it is? I’m scared. Yeah. I don’t like to admit it. Maybe you don’t either.

Just this week I admitted my fear to a friend. The world events  — natural and human — are plain scary. I found myself saying, “If you aren’t scared, you are not paying attention.”

This is not the fear that paralyzes me. Although if I ignore it, I can get tripped up. No, this is the fear that like nails on a chalkboard, scratches into my consciousness. A reedy, strident voice grates, “Pay attention. Listen to me.” And, I do.

This fear splashes cold dread on my being. This dread not does trigger a frigid spiral into paralysis. No, this cold splash wakes my courage. In this awakening, I peer through the fear to discover what is hiding beyond the cloying tangle. 

One thing that I have realized is that fear is seldom a simple emotion. It is this complex tangle of many elements. When it get caught in the tangle, I feel my anxiety grow, see the worst case scenario, and feel the mire of no-way-out. Maybe you’ve been there, too.

But, neither of us needs to be stuck in that messy tangle. That is where courage comes in. For courage says, “Yes, you might be caught in the tangle. You may feel that your breath is being strangled from your body. But you don’t need to remain in this stasis of fear. The way through the tangle is to focus on your breath. Breathe through your fear.” 

So, I breathe first taking short, regular breaths to loosen the tangle. Then I elongate the breaths soon finding a calm within the rhythm of the inhale/exhale. As courageous calm builds, I focus on what I am feeling to discover the roots of my fear.

I begin by simple saying, “show me why I fear.” The untangling begins as I look into the face of the fear’s blossom, travel from the blossom to the stem, and then journey to where the stem of fear digs into the ground becoming roots. Those roots dig deep into the ground of my being. When I am unaware, those roots send tremors of fear throughout my body, mind, spirit, and heart. 

The roots need not stay buried within my soul. Courage is a trowel that gently exposes the roots while listening for the tales of fear’s origin humming within the soil of my soul. Within this melody I recognize that fear is fed on the compost of shame, the not-so-good-enough, regrets, and other inadequacies that pulse through me.

Courage is fierce bravery fed by quiet understanding. Courage invites me to journey through the fear so that I can refresh, reimagine, and renew my spirit. I might not be totally able to silence the voice of fear, but I can meet it with the courage of compassion. I can alleviate some of the suffering that is seeded by fear. 

I am scared, but I will not allow the fear to consume me. Instead I will meet it courageously and compassionately. I know that you can do the same.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature. 

Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

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