When I think about life as it is, I am reminded of a saying that has been attributed to the mystic Julian of Norwich, “All will be well and, in the manner of all things, all will be well.” At times life is messy, chaotic, and filled with what we do not desire. We may attempt to hold tightly to our illusions and create a more palatable, if unrealistic, view of what life, our life, should be. That creation is a fantasy, which supposedly fulfills our desires and wants. Unfortunately it does not, because it is not real.
Chaos is inherent in life as it is. Of course, within chaos lies possibility. In our struggle to live life according to the illusion we hold to, we throw our life and authentic self out of balance. Until we accept life as it is, we lack the springboard on which to launch a life that is all it can be. All will be well when we align our personal experience of reality with life as it is. Only through this alignment will we discover the possibilities that are beautiful, right, and life-giving in our world.
Life is a wondrous roller-coaster ride that gives us both the greatest joy and the deepest despair, and every emotion in the between. We experience life’s roller coaster only in the present moment. We can only enjoy this ride and move in alignment with our authentic self by accepting the joys and the sorrows and the in-be- tweens for what they are. This acceptance is the gate through which new possibility manifests.
Accepting life as it is requires us to integrate what I call the 4nons into all of our interactions: non- attachment, non-judgment, non-defensiveness, and non- violence. When we approach life with these four stances, our ability to respond is enhanced and our need to react lessened. Through the 4nons, we connect to our quiet mind and see our response flexibility increase.
Response flexibility refers to the pliability or ease with which we choose to respond instead of react. Between a trigger and our response or reaction is a pause. How we gear up to act in that moment is a result of our response flexibility. Our ability to respond is made brittle or inflexible when we live out of our preconceived judgments and assumptions. An inflexible response ultimately drives a hurtful or harmful reaction. If our fears and worries are triggered, our instinct is to react. We cause harm.
Each moment of cultivated awareness results in a more flexible response to life and its challenges. Non-attachment, non-defensiveness, non-judgment, and non-violence all increase response flexibility and help us to respond to life as it is, in loving, compassionate ways.
Ready to learn more about living life as it is? Read Engaging Compassion Through Intent and Action (this is an excerpt)
Thank You Vanessa. Your words are so very true!!
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