Sparks in Wisdom's Fire: March 2019

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Reflecting the Beauty of Another's Soul

Sometimes I get so busy that I miss the beauty of the soul of another reflected in mine. The world feels heavy. I tune into the news and see the bad in the world. Or, I get so focused on my worries that I slip from the moment. I stop making eye contact with others. I get mired in sorrow. My spark dims. I miss the beauty of the soul of another reflected in mine

Then something wonderful happens. A single act of kindness, a query of compassion jolts me into the moment. The compassionate spirit of another glints off the kindling in my soul. And, the beauty in my soul sparks a flash fire. If I choose, I become part of the wildfire of beauty that singes the darkness, incinerates the badness. What is left is the ashy compost of hope.

Bad things happen. Frustration occurs. I’ve been there. I am betting that you have, too. But, when I am in the moment, the bad, the frustration, lightens. I work in the compost of hope into the soil of my being. Unless the compost is allowed to nourish transformation, frustration continues to fester thus diminishing the light of our beauty.

I believe — no, I know — that the beauty in each of us, and the world, is our salvation. What would happen if our only criteria of connection would be the beauty of another no matter how hidden? Judgments and defenses would no longer have the illusion of validity. And, where beauty was diminished, we would burn away the dark that obscures it though acts of compassion.

We are not so different you and I. Within us is the potential to connect spark to spark sending a shower of beauty into the world. But, sometimes we get busy and so focused on our self that we forget how connected we are. I’d like to believe that we are not intentionally hurtful. Rather, we get stuck in our suffering and become blind to our beauty and the beauty that surrounds us. To see the beauty we need to reset the way we see the world. That reset? Self compassion.

Self compassion clears the cobwebs. Our vision becomes 20/20. Our beauty shines brightly and we see the beauty of another reflecting in us. We know that our beauty reflects in the other even if they cannot recognize it. Because after all, this journey is not contingent upon the sight of another. It is about our ability to see beauty and respond to it.

Be the mirror that reflects the beauty of the world. Be beauty that is reflected in the world.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Life Coach through Intuitive Connection, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available through www.wildefyrpress.com. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for life coaching, keynotes, programs, and intuitive consultations.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Compassion's Points of Nothingness

A flood of compassion tears fall on a senseless act of violence and incomprehensible hate. I am shocked by an act that snuffed out 50 “points of nothingness” that Merton writes about. I believe, no, I know, that those points from New Zealand have crossed the veil into a new existence. Yet, I wonder how each of us, individually and collectively, will meet the challenge represented by death times 50. How will our compassion not only be a healing balm to the world but be a catalyst for change?

For someone who wants to understand how personal suffering that leads to unconscionable acts, I cannot even ask what this terrorist was thinking. I do not want to know what caused his heart to be crusted by fear and anger and bigotry. Maybe I am just too fatigued or don’t want to look in the face of evil. Maybe I don’t want to even try to understand the act that created a blanket of suffering that threatened to suffocate a peaceful place. Maybe I want to focus on the resilience and compassion of the Kiwis.

So, I turn my compassion to those whose lives have been irrevocably changed by these 50 deaths in New Zealand. I am heartened by the outpouring of care and support that happens moments after the attack and continues days later. As my compassion spirals to reach the wisps of suffering caused by this violent act of bigotry, I realize that compassion is the ultimate power, the change agent that can transform the world — if we choose to act.

Violence is a miasma, a cyclone bomb that wreaks havoc on our individual and collective body, mind, spirit, and heart. I can’t help but wonder why we don’t realize when we are so adamant about standing our ground that we forget that the ground belongs to all of us. And, I wonder: How can we grow a place of welcome amid the growing violence? How can we extinguish the flame of hate and nurture the spark of love? How can we be compassion’s presence in this world gone awry?

Compassionate action begins by reaching out to family, friends, acquaintances, and the intimate stranger. First, we connect with those who hold our core beliefs. We join with them to create a world where love is the greeting, the farewell, and every act in between. We set our intent not to get so caught in the minutia of what we want that we miss the potential for real sustained transformation as individuals and as community.

Because, really, we are in this together, you and I. Unless I can truly seed the gap by listening and responding to you — and you hoe a row, by listening and responding to me, peace and love cannot bridge our divide. If the chasm continues to grow, then we are doomed. The violence within us will continue to flare and race across the chasm laying waste to everything in its path.

But, I have hope. Continued violence and destruction need not be the outcome. If we can reach out with love, set aside our judgments and defenses, truly listen, we can live in a world where the wildfires of violence are contained. We cannot change an act of violence after the fact, but we can seed bridges of love and compassion with our points of nothingness-light shining from within.

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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

The Compassion of Believing in Yourself

Doubts creep in like water trickling into the crevices in our heart. Each time we ignore them or buy in to their illusion, the temperature of our confidence drops. Doubt droplets turn to ice and widen the crevices of suffering. What is the greatest act of self compassion in these moments? Believing in our self.

With belief in our self, we navigate through those doubts, bridge the crevices, and begin the process of healing the rifts between what is true and what is illusion. This compassionate action begins with self acceptance. It grows each time we refuse to shame or blame our self for our imperfections and reactions.

I believe it is safe to say that we are all imperfect. That, at times, our words and actions come out sideways. Self compassion begins through recognizing that our reactions are less about who we are and more the result of a trigger that catches us unaware. Instead of shaming and blaming our self for our actions we have choices: we can blithely continue on the path unaware, we can acknowledge our actions and get mired in shame, or we can identify the reaction.

Identifying our reaction is the beginning of self compassion. Once identified, we can learn the inherent lesson, forgive our self, and let go of the shame. These are the basis of self compassion. There is nothing easy about the practice of self compassion. We are asked to open our eyes to these parts of our self that we do not like or that cause embarrassment. We are asked to consciously use their opportunities to grow into our truest self.

Self Compassion is an act of self belief. When we believe in our self, we find the materials to build bridges across the crevices of suffering. Walking across these bridges we avoid falling into the traps created by our previous suffering. On the bridge, we can drop seeds of hope and love into the crevices. These eventually heal the cracks in our being that were caused by suffeirng.

Beliefs in our self whispers, “I know what is in my heart. I know who I am. I can befriend my imperfections, love them, and become stronger through them.” This self empowerment sows the seeds of compassionate presence that we ultimately share with the world.

The world is uncertain. Each of us is uncertain. If you are like me, you show your imperfections often. That is why the practice of self compassion is so important. We cannot be a balm to the uncertain world until we heal those parts of our self that are filled with suffering.

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Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Acting Compassionately When Things Happen

Bad things happen to good people. I’ve heard that said over and over again. Sometimes, I am the good person bad things happened to. When that happens, I can get mired in the bad (sometimes I do) or I can find a way through the bad into a new reality.

What happens when we reframe the bad things? We are able to acknowledge and act upon the opportunity seeping through the brokenness of our soul. We shift from hopeless suffering to a sense of purpose. Within this shift is the power of the reframe.

How do we reframe? Let’s begin with the sentence, Bad things happen to good people. Remove the adjectives and you get: things happens to people. By removing those descriptors, we take away the emotional judgment of the sentence.

Next, we discern what happened. Please note, that this doesn’t mean that our grief is any less or the frustration and anger we may be feeling is negated. No, it means that we look objectively at what is evolving. By stepping outside the myriad of broken feelings, we are able to identify the challenge inherent in that bad thing.

Reframing does not negate the reality of a situation. It provides a different way of looking at it, finding meaning in it, and gaining peace no matter what our circumstance. For example, a loss of a job may give us an opportunity to see how we get stuck in the same employment pattern job after job. But, this time, we see the pattern, learn the lesson inherent in it, and heal. We gain the power to secure a position that will not allow us to repeat the pattern again.

We can say, the loss of a job is a bad thing or the loss of that job gave us an opportunity to recognize what patterns do not work in our life. The job loss opened us to healing a part of our self. It positioned us to find employment that allowed our authentic self to shine.

It is inevitable that things happen to us. But, when they do, we have a choice — to stay mired indefinitely in the suffering or to reframe the circumstances we find ourself in. While the reframe may not be an instantaneous fix; through it, we gain the objectivity to create the life we want.

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