Imperfect in an Uncertain World: Being Nonviolent

Imperfect. Uncertain. A Gate.  Original Unity. My Message. My Life. What do these have in common? Each is a component of living a nonviolent life. When we accept that each of us is imperfect, live in awareness of the uncertainties in the world; when we live without the barriers of divisiveness, our life becomes a message of hope, compassion, and nonviolent engagement. We recognize that through our imperfections, we can fashion a nonviolent response to the uncertainties in the world. 

This journey of nonviolent presence begins when we accept that we are imperfect beings living in an uncertain world. Our imperfects may be illusions about our self. They may be judgments or deep seated fears. We recognize that our imperfections are not who we truly are. They are opportunities to become who we truly are. 

Illusions are at the base of our reactions. When we acknowledge that another person is not the trigger of our reactions and subsequent violence, our illusions, judgments, and fears at the base of our imperfects are revealed. For example, we might have very different political beliefs than another person. We may react because we feel attacked by that person during a conversation. Or, instead of feeling attacked, we might recognize how our imperfections are triggering us, hear what the person is saying, breathe through the potential reaction, and respond with compassion. 

No matter how much we ignore our imperfections, they do not disappear until we meet their challenges and learn their lessons. Shifting our perspective from imperfections as unwanted flaws to important life tools, we get unstuck from feelings of failure and unattainable expectations for our self. We become our best, authentic self.

Our paradigm shifts from imperfections as a bane of our existence to imperfections as vehicles of growth. This paradigm shift is paramount to healing our woundedness and living nonviolently in an uncertain world. Healing our woundedness, we break free from our imperfections. Our authentic self is then reflected in each thought, word, and action. Any acts of violence are met with a self compassionate response. We heal the world by first healing our self. 

Ready to heal your self and the world through nonviolent living? Join us beginning January 2, 2019, for 4-week online course: Imperfect in an Uncertain World: Being Nonviolent. 

Excerpt from the book Imperfection in an Uncertain World: Being Nonviolent by Vanessa F Hurst, ms. Available on Amazon. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

Don’t Stop Believing

Don’t stop believing. The world may resonate harshness and despair, but don’t stop believing in the beauty of your soul. Life is uncertain. It is easy to slip into noticing the harsh; to become hypercritical. It bogs you down until that one precious moment where the twinkle of another ignites the ember of your spark. Don’t stop believing in the goodness that resonates from yourself and others. 

What we think has been extinguished in a downpour of suffering flairs to life through one act of kindness. The hope in goodness, the belief in better fuels the flame of our self on its climb to authenticity. As our soul burn brighter, we attract souls both dim and light to our self. We become the twinkle of hope in a desolate world. Joining with others, we become one flame in a bonfire of hope.

Belief burrows beneath the fragile crust of anger-irritation. We recognize what lurks just beneath the surface of suffering. And, we vow not to allow suffering to diminish the flow of compassion from our heart. We understand that unless we lower the shield of our compassionate presence, our light will not be lessened. 

There is always a choice to burn brightly or for our flame to ebb. When we choose compassion and nonviolence, we become a light of determined hope that cuts a widening swatch of light through a barren land. We understand that we cannot bring life back to every centimeter of the world, but we can minimize the impact of violence in our corner of the world. 

I believe that the only way to extinguish the suffering in my soul, is to cultivate quiet peace. The quiet is a beacon that lights the way with sounds and sights of pure joy. It rolls over my disquiet. I am sustained by my light. You can be, too. 

I believe that at the foundation of all the good that we do is found in the calming of our chaotic heart. For within the calm, violence leaches from us. What remains is love. Love tempers even the greatest violence and prepares our heart to respond with compassion. 

Belief is what propels us from the light of day through the dark of night back into the light of day. Journey with me. Together our lights shine brighter. Together our lights lift us from the disparity of uncertainty and launch us into a place where the power of nonviolence and compassion thrives. 

I believe. What you do believe? 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

Compassion Asks, “What Do We Really Need?”

Let’s reframe “how much do we really need?” to “what do we really need?” Or, how do we live a truly abundant life that has little to do with the size of our bank account and everything to do with the size of our heart?

To answer these questions, we remember that we are body, mind, spirit, and heart. To truly live in abundant simplicity, we engage the rhythm of living in the physical realm, listen to the roots of our thoughts, embrace the wild passion in our emotions, and understand life’s unfolding through our connection to all. 

Body. This is perhaps the simplest yet the most difficult aspect to address. There is so much stuff in the world; so many shiny things that tempt us until self imposed clutter overwhelms us. Bit by bit, we seek ways to live simpler while asking, “Do I really need this?” before bringing home another thing or giving away what we have.  

Mind. Of course, it is inevitable that we clutter our physical life. Instead of shaming, getting frustrated, or being angry, we listen to the rant of our internal monologue without reacting to it. We rescript the words to be gentler, kinder, to our self and others. We listen for the words that create scarcity driven by harm, hurt, and suffering. Changing our internal monologue creates a new avenue of responding to the world.

Heart. We feel emotions and identify those that raise us up and those that harm us — the fears, anger, angst, sorrow, and depression. We feel but do not allow our self to be caught in their trap. We dig deep within us to find a spark of compassion. Blowing gently on this spark it flares up incinerating the hurtful emotions through acts of self compassion.

Spirit. We are connected to every person, each part of creation through the sacred thread of self. Compassion flows upon these connections touching sacred in all. Within our spirit is the unifying power of our four aspects. But, compassion is greater than that — it nurtures an abundant community where there is plenty for all.

What you need, what I need, what we need collectively, is fluid and shifting. It is never scarcity creating; it is always abundance growing. To discover our needs, we look deep into our heart, discover with our mind, connect with our spirit, and live our choices through our body. The simplest yet most difficult path to abundance. 

May each of us honestly discern our simple abundance and live with joy. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

Compassion, Imperfection & Being Who We Truly Are

I awoke to the realization that I could navigate this crazy jumble of life. I could follow any tangle, slip through a knot, and be exactly where I needed to be. This realization took some getting used to as I often found myself not where I wanted to be but exactly where I needed to be. I chafed at my needs. Wondered why they couldn’t align with my wants.

The chafing caused friction. Soon sparks flew and my internal violence erupted into the external world. “Not again,” I thought as the world lit up with my reactions. Humbled I realized that I was not so different from those I had othered as a result of their harmful and hurtful behavior. I was a transgressor, too. 

I awoke to the knowing that I was as imperfect as others. And, I acknowledged that I did not fair so well in the uncertainty in the world. I wondered with more than a tinge of despair how I could learn to navigate the uncertainty without being triggered. How could I calm my internal life so that I did not explode outward? 

The answer to that question lays in a life long challenge. We have to be prepared for a detour or twelve on the journey of soul purpose. As we enter into the adventure of detour, we understand that a detour is not a path of avoidance. Rather, they force us to acknowledge our imperfections and learn from them. The detours are avenues of rescripting our life to reflect our best self. 

In doing so, our imperfections become less unwelcome strangers and more faithful friends. They tell us the cold, honest truth that we do not want to admit. We fear that truth will break us into a thousand shards of unquiet. In reality, the honesty is a wake up call for us to set aside who we do not want to be and become who we truly are. The honesty does not break us; it makes us stronger.

Imperfections cannot be ignored or wished away. In order to grow, we must acknowledge them, learn from them, and lovingly let them go. When used as tools, imperfections are impermanent means to live our soul purpose. When we no longer have need of them, they vanish — another knot loosened in the tangle of our life. 

What are your imperfections? How can they help you live an increasingly nonviolent life? That is to be found in the fashioning of your lived experience. (Want to learn more? Join us for Imperfect in an Uncertain World: Being Nonviolent. A four week course beginning January 2, 2019. For more information: (Tickets on sale December 9.)

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

The Compassion of Not So Different

I build a bridge not with my hands but with my heart. Every moment is an opportunity to place another tile of empathy, compassion, and peace. Each tile is a bit of my spirit reaching through the murk shooting an arc of light from my heart to yours. And, in that instant of connection, you and I, we are not so different. Our compassionate hearts sync, beating as one.

Heart to heart our compassion joined flares across the bridge opening us to what is, what might be. The illusion burns away. The obvious suffering become ash. We are empaths slipping underneath the charred unevenness to find the festering, embedded suffering that remains. Our compassion is a soothing balm that calms the fierce burns that suffering wrought. We bring peace to ourselves and calm the uncertain world.

Connection forged through the fire of co-compassion, our lights burn brighter and brighter. Together our collective white hot embers sear a path into the uncertainty of the world. We cannot stop at one alleviation of suffering. The beat of our compassionate hearts urges us on and on and on. Why stop when there is so much suffering that we can tame?

Night turns to day. Lingering illusions are revealed; suffering is pulled up by its roots. For an instant, the uncertainty throbs a bit less. Calm resonates in our being. We share this calm knowing that as long as our hearts beat, we will be emissaries of compassion. As sharers of compassion, we are not so different, you and I.

We are connected, you and I. These bridges of ours arc across the chasm of illusion. When we are out of sync with one another, we ignore our connection thus amplifying the suffering. Aware, we work together to create an arc of compassion that brings peace. To be out of sync or to work together — individual and collective choices that we make in each moment of every day. Our awareness, our choice. And, the choosing makes all the difference in the world.

We are not so different, you and I. Both of our hearts beat the same tattoo of life. When they beat in the sync of compassion, we are the power that changes the world. Let’s be compassion and bring transformation to ourselves and the world.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

A Bright Fiery Spark Twining A Message of Love

Love twines and loops and twists. It connects us to one and the other like a macramed Celtic knot. We never know where love ends or begins. It just is a bright fiery spark that burns along a fiber optic strand through my soul connecting me to you. 

I do not need to know your hopes and dreams, your sorrows and suffering, to love you. All I need is the resonance of your smile to jangle me awake to the inner knowing that you and I, we are not so different. It fact, when we strip away the small stuff, our spark’s glow with the same sacred ember. That ember pulses with love. 

Love brought us into being. Why else would the Creator carve off a piece of Itself, hold the burning ember in the palm of Its hand, and gently blow the spark into each of our spirits? At our conception this spark ignited our soul into being. Within each of us echoes the love of the sacred.

What greater love is there than to be gifted with a piece of the sacred? We carry this eternal flame of love with us through lifetimes and beyond. What greater responsibility do we have than to share that love with one another? Flame to flame we tell one another, “you matter."

When I look at you, I see the physical, converse with the mental, commune with the emotional, all the while feeling the warm of your divine spark running through the strand that connects us. I feel love. I hope you feel mine. 

No matter how much I may suffer — no matter how much you suffer — when my divine spark touches yours or yours touches mine, we explode in a flash fire of compassion. Love is powered by this compassion. Each compassionate act draws us further along the path of lovingkindness as our love journeys into the great unknown. 

We are not really so different, you and I. Deep inside at the core of each being glows an ember — lighting the way, reminding us that we are Creation. Pieces of a fiery puzzle that when joined together create a community of gratitude. And, gratitude when shared by an individual, when offer through community, has the power to change everything.

Believe in the power of love. Our belief combined with our intent and lived through our actions builds a light arc across the abyss of othering that transcends differences. We are not so different, you and I. Let’s join our lights to guide our path into that knowing. Let’s be gratitude personified. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

Compassion & the Journey with Imperfection

There is a calm settling into the world. It is an eager anticipation, a welcoming of who we really are and a diminishing of who we struggle not to be. In the calm, all sorts of stuff floats to the top of our awareness. Some of it we celebrate it — that which truly reflects who we are. Other debris we grimace thinking, “how could that have come from us?”

In the flotsam we recognize the treasures and debris of our journey. Through the calm, we identify how we do not always show our best self. We own the hurt that we have caused and grieve the resulting suffering. Even as we acknowledge that being hurtful, causing suffering, is not who we are, we may never have the curious daring to address the hurt directly. 

But we have the courage to build upon our treasures as we vow to change the way we react to the world. We shift our words, actions, and even thoughts to better reflect who we are. We are determined to become a truer image of our best self. In doing so, we clear the flotsam of hurt and suffering from our life and the lives of others. 

Maybe you are thinking, I don’t want to go through the flotsam field of hurt and suffering. Our passage though it is inevitable on this journey we call life. While we have epiphany moments in which we touch our true self and are enlightened, most of the time we spend meeting our challenges, learning our life lessons, and being the best person we can be in that moment. It is inevitable that we lose awareness and create flotsam.

Our authentic intent to be a emissary of compassion is all that is required on the journey thorough flotsam. That intent is enough to lead us through the debris to our true self. This does not mean that we can stop acknowledging when we have caused suffering in our self or another. We cannot stop acknowledging our imperfections. We must find ways to minimize their impact and the resulting suffering. 

So, we accept responsibility for our actions, words, and thoughts. We no longer blame others for who we are. We own our authenticity and our imperfections. In fact, our imperfections serve as springboards into the next compassionate step on the journey. And, that step, when taken, brings us to a balance point. 

The balance point offers a panoramic view of how our actions, reactions, and responses impact our self and those around us. Once in balance, we better recognize when we move out of alignment and into a place of suffering. With awareness we take strides to move back into balance. With this awareness comes the trust that we hear the voice of our inner wisdom and respond with it. We are an authentic presence of compassion in the world.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

Compassion & the Good Person

Fear. It seems to be everywhere these days as  it wraps us in its cold embrace. Although the sun of hope may be shining, we cannot feel its warmth for we are wrapped in layer upon layer of dread. We may close the blinds and hunker down convinced that if we ignore the fear, it will go away. But, it doesn’t. Instead we quiver in fear’s embrace.

What can we do to release the paralysis of fear? How can we move from the darkness even as we feel our spark of hope sputter and flutter? We begin by acknowledging that we may be blind to possibilities, deaf to opportunity, and mute to our longings for hope. 

But, within each of us is a kernel, no matter how small, of belief that this, too, shall pass and life will once again be filled with the warmth of hope. We live in awareness of possibility unfolding in the moment. We do not expect something to flare across the darkness and reignite our spark. We anticipate that it will happen. 

My story is simple one. I honestly attempt to live a life of compassion — to do good not expecting a return, but anticipating that the beauty of the world is revealed again and again. Unfortunately that does not always happen until it does. 

In a moment of despair, I had an unexpected conversation with a woman. What she told me had me wondering how she could have know the intimacies of a phone conversation. How did she know who I was talking to? I wondered if she were more angel than human. Then, I realized that I could argue with myself about ethereal vs human messenger or I could focus on the message. 

As I helped her with the mundane task of choosing a concealer, she looked me in the eye and said, “You are a good person. I remember you.” Then she recounted a time in which I had a phone conversation with a coworker who was frustrated. She said that I reminded my coworker that it was just a job and that we were #inthistogether. She echoed a phrase I use over and over again.

Although I cannot recall this exact interaction this woman recounted, in her words I felt a spark of hope arcing across a fear-filled expanse of nothingness. It a burst of light, I saw where my ember cowered. As she reminded me, “You are a good person,” my spark exploded with hope. And, then she took her concealer and was gone. 

In the end it doesn’t matter if she was an angel or a human or a bit of both. She was an igniter of light in the encroaching dark. She stood witness and held space, so I could find the way back to my own glowing spark.

Fear may encroach. Darkness may overwhelm, but as long as we are #inthistogether, the dark will never overcome. Our light never goes out. It waits silently for the power of compassion to remind us who we are.

May you be the good person who reminds another of their light. May you be reminded of your own light. And, may  your light shine brightly as compassion’s presence in a scary world. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

A Constellation of Connections: Being Our Best Self

Upon our life canvas we paint a glorious night sky that is  unique to each of us. In the array of stars, we are Polaris, the North Star of our sky. Each person, each part of creation is a star twinkling against the indigo backdrop. Here in the inky darkness of our night sky, we connect to others in relationship. These connections create a vibrant, dynamic constellation. Each interaction, no matter the duration, impacts and influences our constellation of connections. A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships

It is inevitable in our constellation of connections that strands strung to another person become brittle and shred. Relationships we felt would last forever are suddenly no longer. It doesn’t matter if this relationship was romantic partner, a family member, a friend, or a colleague. The relationship ends, and we are cast adrift in suffering. We are bereft and grieve the loss.

Sometimes we cannot let go of the other person. We spend time questioning why our relationship ended, assigning blame, and feeling shame for our role in the dissolution. We want a do over to reforge the connection. We want what we want instead of asking what is necessary to our evolution. We forget that our constellation of connections is dynamic and evolving as it creates an environment for us to live fully.

In the aftermath of a shredded a connection we do not realize that we have evolved. We don’t recognize that the relationship no longer served our best self or the best self of our partner.  To transform into our best, most authentic self (and to allow the other the same grace), we must be open to transitioning our relationships. The reality is that some become more durable, while others fracture. 

The suffering seeping from the fracture is real.  We can choose to be stuck in the pain and attempt to resuscitate the relationship or we can use the energy of our suffering to meet our challenges and move forward. Choosing the latter propels us into the reconfiguration of our constellation. This revitalized constellation of connections reveals our best, truest self. 

Reconfiguration is the hard part. I’ve found myself in situations where I do almost anything to keep a connection no matter how stressed. Then one day, the connection fractures and the resulting shrapnel impairs other relationships. I must decide whether to focus on other viable relationships in my constellation or continue to force a connection that I should let go.

I feel the grief no matter if I hold on tight or let go. I go through the stages of grief that is a ricocheting back and forth of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Through the suffering triggered by my loss, I learn. In this trial, I  become more durable. As a contemplative in relationship, I focus my attention on the sacred and listen to the voice of my inner wisdom. I am healed as I learn the lessons inherent in the relationship.

Maybe later, I am able to connect in a different way to the person whose strand is broken. Maybe not. Maybe I navigate through or around the black hole created by the relationship that is no more. No matter what, I continue to evolve my constellation of connections. I accept that I am not a failure for within the fragility of each connection, I see the potential twinkling in my own divine spark. I live through relationship as I follow my divine spark, my truth  north, that leads me to my most authentic self. You can, too.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

What Does Not Define Us: A Letting Go

We have great plans — phenomenal pathways to transformation. The weather seems perfect to  accomplish them. Then the rains come.  The river rises. The current quickens. The pathway to our plans — our hopes and dreams — are swept away in an instant. 

Maybe we dive into the water and tugged on our dreams mired in the tangle. Ripping them free, we valiantly swim against the current sure that we will find elusive dry ground. Sure that we will be able to resuscitate said hopes and dreams.

Perhaps we go a different route. We judge everything as hopeless. We plop upon the sodden ground bemoaning the foe that prevented our realized dreams. We are unmindful of the rising water as it edges closer and closer further obscuring our path.

But, there is a middle ground between almost drowning in the swift current and giving up. We can be in the tumult and the uncertainty without being caught in the undercurrent of unrecognizable hopes and dreams or stuck in the futility of dreams lost. We can survey the damage without giving in to despair. Walking between the two is a tricky balance point we seek.

How do we find this balance point? How de we become the balance point? For me, it begins by acknowledging those feelings of hopelessness and frustrations. I allow them to wash over me without allowing them to dig into my flesh or pushing them away. I affirm that the feelings define the situation. I accept on a soul level that neither those feelings nor the situation define me. 

That is the toughest part — not being defined by what is happening to me. When I acknowledge these feelings, I let them wash over me without judgment. By not clinging to them they are no longer integral to my being They become part of the tumult. In this shift I am no longer threatened by drowning. Rather, the stream washes me clean, lays me bare, and clears my sight. 

The true adventure begins when we let go of those plans that no longer suit us. By letting go, we open to a new path that is less a detour and more a realignment of our soul purpose. This path leads us to where we need to be. When we are nonattached to what we think we should be, who we truly are is revealed. 

Nonattachment provides us the space to clearly hear the voice of our intuition. And we, step by step, follow that voice leading us to our soul purpose. We hear the song in the tumult. It invites us to be in harmony with our self. Aligned with our soul purpose we dance because our feet will not stop singing  transformation.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018