Lately when I hear the word compassion, I wonder how some described actions correlate with ability to alleviate suffering. These actions seem to go beyond the practice of the compassion of “I love you enough” or not enabling a person but instead supporting them as they move through their suffering in order to meet a challenge. While I understand and have practiced the philosophy of “I love you enough” compassion, I do not see how something that has the potential to cause hurt, harm, and additional suffering can be considered compassionate.
I wonder what the intent behind the action is. I wonder if the person who is being self-proclaimed “compassionate” understands what is at the roots of their intent. Knowing and being honest about your intent comes in really handy when sharing compassion in difficult situations. Identifying your intent requires more than just a superficial statement of the motives behind your actions. It requires looking honestly into the ground of your being while recognizing that the verbalized intent may not be the true intent.
What we believe is intent, at times, is a manifestation of our fears. Digging into the ground of our being, we uncover the roots of our intent. Through these roots, we identify the truth of our intent. We might see that the bridge that connects our so called intent to our actions is an illusion. That our intent may not be compassion but survival of some illusionary aspect of our self at the expense of others. Once intent is identified, the next step is to see how well it correlates with actions.
What is intent? How does it correlate authentically with action? Let’s start with definitions.
Intent is a state of mind that creates the foundation of purpose. We might have a specific intent such as completing an assigned task. We also have a macro intent. This overarching state of being is our life purpose or how we live from a set of core values. My overarching intent is to be compassionate.
Our action is reflected in all our thoughts, words, and deeds. With every breath and in every moment, we act. Unless we are mindful, our intent may not inform our actions. Overwhelmed by the busyness of the day, our intent is often lost amid our reactionary behavior. We may question how we got to this place of reaction that does not accurately reflect our intent.
Bridging our intent and action begins with a simple questions.
- “What is my intent?” Discovering the answer may be anything but simple. But, until we acknowledge lies at the foundation of each action, we find our bridge from intent to action unnavigable.
- After naming this intent, we ask, “What are the core values that guide our intent?” Understanding the connection between our value system and our intent, gives us the power of choice.
This is a choice of response or reaction. Do we choose to get swept away from the moment and away from the opportunity of response? When we are not present our triggers propel us into reactionary behavior. Instead of looking at what is the root of the anger, angst, or frustration, we hurt our self and others through our actions. Our bridge of intent and actions becomes rickety.
When mindful, our core values root us deeply in a place where we can connect our intent and action. Anchored into the moment we stop potential reactions and form responses. In our mindfulness, we notice triggers. We reflect upon what was behind our initial desire to react. Often these roots are fears — of being wrong, of not being lovable, of not fitting in — the list is endless.
Once the roots are identified, we can use tools like the 90-second pause* to lessen our high emotions thus moving from reaction to response. Our response is the true mirror of our intent. Each response creates patterns of mindful interaction. Our response flexibility strengthens.
Although bridging our intent and action is a means of living from our core values, is has a variety of benefits. Each time we connect our intent and action, we increase our brain plasticity. We strengthen neural pathways of response and synaptically prune pathways of reactions. Through this connection we become better at identifying our triggers and mitigating their negatives effects.
When we bridge our intent and action, our life is a reflection of our core values — we show the world the person we are deep inside our self. The end result is increased connectivity to our self and the world around us. Our response flexibility is enhanced and we are more resilient.
* The 90-second pause is a way of stopping and paying attention to how the triggers of the world are pulling you from the moment. Set a timer for 90 seconds. Breathe and notice how you are impacted in your body, mind, spirit, and emotions to an event. Don’t hold on to what is happening, be an objective observer. It you do not allow the distraction to catch you, it will be easier to stay in the moment.
Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.
Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017
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