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| vanessa f hurst, ms |
Did you ever want something so badly that you could taste it? Be so attached to a particular outcome that you missed other opportunities? Were so committed to a future that you ignored potential difficulties and when it became your present, you realized it was not what you wanted? For Buddhists these attachments are shenpa, what hooks us.
When I think of these attachments in terms of shenpa, something inside of me perks up. I can almost hear the firing of disused brain synapses as those dormant pathways of processing reengage. As the energy leaps from synapse to synapse, I ask myself what I am so attached to that has become my single focus. What importance is the hook of shenpa obscuring?
Shenpa is anything that hooks us. It pulls us out of the moment and traps us in an endless cycle of worries, anxieties, and hopelessness. These attachments create barriers that prevent us from living with courage and curious daring. We miss the possibilities to let go of what hooks us and move into the rhythm of what life offers.
Being fully present is the only way to disengage these attachments. In the moment we listen to our internal monologue and assume the stance of the objective observer who practices the 4nons (non-attachment, non-judgment, non-defensive, non-violent). Instead of clinging or pushing away shenpa, practice
Non-attachment. Name any propensities to cling or cast away what disturbs your peace. Rest in the instinctual push and pull of attaching and detaching. Becoming an objective observer, notice how you cling or cast away, but do not become engage the action.
Non-judgment. Notice and own any judgments while refusing to react from them. Recognize that when you are non-judgmental, you are better able to confront judgments, question their validity, and identify their root biases. Your judgments no longer control your actions.
Non-defensive. Own that when confronted, your desire is to react defensively. Being non-defensive asks that you objectively notice how your are feeling attacked and what emotions are trigged by another. Instead of reacting, seek to understand the reaction of another instead of justifying you own reaction.
Non-violent. Identify the overt and subtle violence that you perpetrate. Recognize that it is the subtle acts of violence that resonates more deeply with shenpa. Through our violent thoughts, shenpa erodes confidence and the ability to make good choices. The violence inherent in shenpa sows seed of self-doubt until the real is no longer separate from illusion.
We are seldom able to break free of shenpa in one orchestrated move. Our attachments cling to us like the barbs of thistle. They can only be released by practicing the 4nons while in the stance of the objective observer. Once removed, our attachments do not disappear. They lurk in the recesses of our mind waiting to fire those synapses that reconnect us to them.
The art of non-attachment is an ongoing practice of befriending both what we cling to and what we cast aside. They no longer have power over us when we befriend them. With a return of the balance of power, we let go of our attachment and ground more fully into our authenticity. We break through barriers of shenpa and live more fully, more courageously, and with more curious daring.
Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Contact Vanessa @ hurst.vanessa@gmail.com
Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.
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