Earlier today I found myself searching the web for an image of a cornucopia.  My desire was to find an image that I could use when reflecting upon and naming the many people, things, and situations for which I am grateful.  Blessing named joyously were placed in my cornucopia.

As the cornucopia filled, I realized how fortunate I am.  My life is filled with evident and not so evident givers of love and compassion.  Sometimes when I least expect it but so need to be showered with love and compassion, I am amazed by the vessels of grace…friends, family, strangers.  So, today, as I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, I invite you to name and celebrate the abundance of gratitude filling your cornucopia.

In gratitude,  Vanessa

www.intentandaction.com

www.healingwillow.com

A Gift & A Choice

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net

We may find our switch flipped, our button pushed, our reaction triggered.  While the person or situation who served as the catalyst is not responsible for our reactions they provide the material from which our reaction or response grows.

As the button is pushed, the ire and angst begin to rise.  Before the top is blown off and the inevitable reaction occurs, what can we do? First, recognize that you are building to reaction. Second, acknowledge you have a choice to respond or react.  Engage your objector observer by stepping back into the silence of your quiet mind. In your quiet mind, notice

·      The cadence and tenor of your breath…don’t try to shift it. Just notice it.

·      How the angst is manifesting in your body (tightening of your chest, unsettled feeling in your stomach, pressure building in your head….).

·      The thoughts, beliefs, and judgments running amok in your mind.

Embrace your objector observer.  Instead of allowing the trigger to drive your next words and actions, just notice the catalyst.  As an objector observer does not cling to the evolving feelings, do not lash out violently, or try to defend your position.  When the feelings threaten to overwhelm, let them wash over you.  Consciously let go…do not cling to any aspect of the emotion.

The life cycle of an emotion is 90-seconds.  The emotion is triggered, peaks, and dissipates in this short span. For most of us, the duration of an emotion is much longer.  We feed our positive emotions like hope and love and they continue throughout our lifetime bringing us balance and joy.  The more angst-driven emotions like anger, fear, and despair, we feed as well.  They place detrimental stress on our body, mind, spirit, and heart.  When we consciously ride the 90-second wave of emotion and not feed it, the anger or fear will dissipate and the damage minimized.  Perhaps residue of the emotion remains, but its shadow is a faint blimp on our spirit’s radar. 

When the emotion threatens to morph into a reaction, practice being an objector observer for 90-seconds. Notice what happens. Practice using memories of reaction-producing situations when you are alone.  It is easier to engage in a group if you are prepared and comfortable with the process.

During the upcoming weeks (and beyond) use this 90-second break while:

·      Enjoying a family gathering

·      Waiting in a busy checkout line

·      Talking to a representative at a call center

·      Getting together with friends

Practice any time, any place emotions are running high and you need to decompress and re-align your body, mind, spirit, and heart.  In the practicing you learn what triggers you and how to shift reactions into responses.

Enjoy the gift of response!

Vanessa Hurst

www.intentandaction.com

www.healingwillow.com

Through Intent & Action: Shifting Angst, Sharing Joy

Through Intent & Action: Shifting Angst, Sharing Joy: Thanksgiving is two weeks away.   We are in the beginning of both the most stressful time and the most joyous time of the year.   How can...

Shifting Angst, Sharing Joy

Thanksgiving is two weeks away.  We are in the beginning of both the most stressful time and the most joyous time of the year.  How can we shift those angst filled vibes into a joy-filled rhythm?  Over the next weeks, I will be offering simple practices that may help lighten the mood and bring us into a place of joy and peace.

At the end of a recent program I attended, we received homework.  For twenty-four hours we were to look in the eyes of each person that we met.  With each heart-centered glance, we were to affirm that no one is a cog — everyone is a loving being, a fellow sojourner, a member of community.

Of course, being curiously daring, I engaged in this experiment.  In the beginning, my focus was on connecting with the other through my eyes.  I noticed that when my eyes actually connected with theirs, the other’s face was transformed with a smile.  I felt the smile on my face reflecting theirs.

Soon I noticed each time I sought out the eyes of another, my facial muscles tugged into a smile.  Our mutual smiles triggered brief conversations.  By noon I was feeling the buzz of being in community.  As I rested in the moment, I marveled at the change in my day.  Deep inside my being I realized that each moment of smiling connection triggered change in both of us.  And, the tendrils of our joyous connection spiral out to others…the circle grows.

My challenge to you for the next week: take time to really look at people.  Find ways to communicate with them through the lovingkindness in your eyes, friendly words, or helpful gestures. Enjoy those moments of community no matter how brief they are.

Let me know what you experience!  

Peace & Joy, Vanessa

www.intentandaction.com
www.healingwillow.com

One Word, One Action Changes Every Thing

We all probably have a horror story or two about a call center experience.  So, imagine my surprise when I had not one, not two, not three, but four positive call center experiences in the span of about ten days.  As I hung up the phone after each call, I was filled with peace and calm.  The person’s stance at the other end of the phone conversation shifted my mood. The power we have to positively and negatively impact another’s day was evident to me.

My mind flashed to the faraway days of chain emails.  One of the emails shared told the story of a young man who had his arms filled with books as he left school.  Of course, as luck would have it, he dropped his books. They scattered. Another thoughtful student helped him pick up the books.  They discovered many commonalities as they chatted.  The second student invited the first home to play video games.  That was the beginning of a friendship that spanned their remaining high school days and beyond.

Graduation came and with it a confession from the first student.  On that day several years before, he had cleaned out his locker and was going home to commit suicide.  The student didn’t want his parents to have to clean out his locker. The words and actions of the second student brought hope to the first.  Both students lives were radically changed through the actions and words of compassion.

I cannot look at my interactions with others with indifference any more.  I no longer look at my words as casual banter or meaningless drivel.  My words give voice to my choice — I can soothe and bring joy or I can trigger a more negative reaction.  While I realize that it is not my responsibility as to how another reacts to my words, it is my responsibility to use words that soothe in compassion filled ways.

In this moment and in the moments that follow, notice the choices you make with each utterance.

Peace & Joy, Vanessa

Two Sides? Or, More?

Yesterday I grabbed a fist full of quarters to feed a downtown parking meter.  Several quarters slipped from my clenched hand and fell to the floor.  As I looked at the dropped coins, I noticed that more than two images were represented by the fallen quarters.  Two sides to a quarter morphed into the adage “there are two sides to every story.”

Hmmm. If there are more sides to a quarter than two, is the adage really true?  With a chuckle, I retorted, “no there aren’t two sides….every story is multifaceted. The number of sides depends upon the number of people or groups perceiving the happening.”

In my lifetime quarters have had the potential to have 59 side images represented.   Although one of those sides is the static picture of George Washington, the image on the other side can manifest in 58 different ways.  No matter what the image is on the other side, a quarter is still worth twenty-five cents. 

I ponder at this moment in time about that quarter and how it reminds me of how each of us experiences the world in different ways.  Although my reality is my own it is not necessarily the reality of others.  And, this isn’t a bad thing.  We are a creative lot. Diversity of perception gives birth to opportunity and success.  Each of us is striving to live an authentic, accurate, true life story. This is told through our reality. When we accept the realities of others, we take the first step to gaining common ground.  In this place of acceptance, our common ground, no matter what we perceive as real, profound things happen. We collectively transform the world.

My intent for this day? Well, when I begin to judge or deem my way the best or only way, I am going to return to those quarters and remind myself that reality is comprised not only of what I believe but the multi-faceted, multi-hued offerings of what others perceive.  Transformation is possible only when we open our eyes and accept those around us.

What do you intend today?

Peace & Joy, 

Vanessa

Trusting there is another way…

During the month of October I have been presenting a 4-part program on the insights of Thomas Merton and Rachel Carson.   As I prepared and presented the information, I found myself fluctuating between the despair caused by what we as humans have perpetrated and the hope that we have learned enough individually and collectively to go forward in less harmful, hurtful ways.

But, how do we begin this transformation from harming to healing?  The first step on this path is to admit the harm that we, individually and collectively, have perpetrated.  Peering deeply into the murky fog of illusion, we name our tendencies to be hurtful and times we have been catalysts of harm.  This reflection is not a form of self-castigation; rather, it is a way of recognizing our triggers and deep fears that lie at the root of our harmful behavior.

This reflection invites us into an “aha” moment.  During this mini-epiphany, we discover the emotion behind our trigger of hurt.  Maybe this catalyst is fear or the uncertainty of not meeting the perceived standards of another.  As I become aware of that part of myself that is hurt and wants to lash out, I know have the power of choice.  I can choose to let my hurt fuel my words, thoughts, and actions; or I can choose to shower my hurt with love.  As my hurt heals through self-love, the potential for harm manifests into an abundance of love.  I respond to others with this abundance of love.

Is this shift from harming to healing easy?  No.  Is it necessary?  Yes.  When we vow to cause no harm, we agree to get in touch with who we are at the ground of our being.  We agree to love who we are including the scars and the sore spots.  Through this self-acceptance, we forge the path of accepting others.

In this shift from harming to healing I find the trail of despair has ended and path hope welcomes me in.

Peace & All Good, Vanessa