Sparks in Wisdom's Fire: December 2022

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Surrender

At the beginning of 2022, I chose a word— dare. I attempted to live into it. Then a funny thing happened midway through the year. A word slipped into the cracks of my soul whispering into my core. Surrender spoke to me.

Surrender. It took me a bit to really understand what the word meant to me. I thought, “Doesn’t surrender mean giving up?” Not really. Surrender is an act deeper than letting go. It is an openness to what is unfolding — no more struggling to make things work. To surrender is to be in a state of heightened awareness. By surrendering, we move through life’s tangles with an awareness that the tangle has roots.

This surrender is not about giving up — it is about living in anticipation. What do we do with this anticipation? We use it as a spring board to leap into personal transformation. In transforming our self, we become change agents in this messy, uncertain world. In essence, we become detanglers of life’s messy knots.

I realize that surrendering is one of the most difficult stances we will ever take. Surrender calls us to withdraw from action. Surrender is living nonattached to our fears or expectations. We live without clinging to the what-ifs or pushing away this things with which we are averse. We actively notice our triggers and choose to be in ways that will neutralize them. Surrender is a way of being not doing.

In surrendering, we clear the path. We see with clarity our purpose. As we walk the path we anticipate — not expect. We look forward; we open to what is happening instead of putting limits to the unfolding. On this trek into soul purpose, we soften, evolve. We become who we are meant to be as we look past our imperfections.

Surrender says, “Stop fighting. Breathe. Be in the tangle. Learn from the discord. Listen to the quiet of my voice as it leads you through.” When we listen to surrender, we aren’t complacent. Rather, we listen with heightened awareness and act upon our intuition.

My word as I move into 2023 remains surrender. It will be with that word until another word comes whispering through the cracks of my soul and blows on the ember of my being.

Are you ready to surrender into this brave, scary, new world? I hope so, because I am ready to change the world with you.

Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. She uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary. The result of time with Van? An evolving blueprint for your life that sustains a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.

Van is a professional speaker & author who weaves inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are available @ www.wildefyrpress.com. Her most recent book, As Natural As Breathing: Being Intuitive, is available on Amazon. Contact Vanessa for life coaching, intuitive consultations, keynotes, and programs.

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Beyond Fatigue Into Compassion

I had hopes that I was a bodhisattva in training. You know, some who is here on this planet to help alleviate suffering. Lately I have felt anything but compassionate. In fact, I find myself in a quagmire. Have you every just felt depleted? Like you’re scraping the barrel of your compassion and you’ve got nothing left? I feel that I am there.

So, what is this quagmire? It’s compassion fatigue. This is caused by empathy arousal or being overwhelmed by the feelings of suffering of another. When we are unable to move past empathy arousal, we have compassion fatigue which causes personal suffering. We’ve got nothing left. We act from our suffering and unintentionally contribute to a toxic environment.

So, how do we get past the fatigue? First we realize that we are caught in this cycle of shared suffering. Then we name how we are stuck in empathy arousal or caught in the feelings of another.

How do we shift from this place of suffering and fatigue? Unfortunately there is no one-size-fits-all response. We may find a way to minimize the impact of being stuck in empathy arousal; we may continue to spiral into fatigue unaware; or, we might just walk away. I hate to quit. I hate being stuck. But, sometimes I am too tired to move forward.

Shifting begins with awareness. We name how we are feeling and find the energy to discover what is triggering our fatigue. These simple steps clear the debris on the road that brings us back to our true self. Clearing the path riddled with debris requires an act of self compassion — maintaining healthy personal boundaries. This means being aware when they are breached and continuing to repair them as needed.

The more we do this, the more we heal the cracks through which our compassion spills. As those cracks heal, we can return to being a person who holds the space for suffering to be alleviated.

But, in this moment I don’t have a lot of energy to focus outward. I am going to be okay with focusing on myself and healing those cracks. I know that only through the practice of self compassion can I be compassion to others. I hope that you are kind to yourself, too.

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Sparking Life in the Bole of the Soul

The days continue their trek into the longer night as we edge closer to the Winter Solstice — a celebration of light within the dark. I do not remember a December so gloomy, so devoid of Brother Sun. Hoping for a visit from those bright rays soon!

Last night as I peered out my window, the dark was shrouded in mist. The fog twined with the shadows in invitation. I thought climate change — nothing is normal any more. Then I reminded myself that I need to get better at surrendering into the new normal — the unexpected, the uncertain. Yes, I do need to open to surrender and maybe you do, too!

Within my surrender, the mist called to me. I became aware that Autumn is slipping from our grasp. It is time to celebrate the coming dark time. For this is more than a time of huddling in blankets and resting in the quiet. It is a time of less doing and more being; a time of less talking and more listening; a time of less gathering and more reflection. But, mostly it is a time to allow the decay to fall away and carefully nurture what rests in the bole of your soul.

Within the bole of your soul is where life sparks. Where the uncertainty makes sense; the unexpected is welcomed as friend. This is the place where we can identify our fears and call upon our courage to meet them as friends. The bole of the soul is the dark, welcoming space that invites us to spark our soul as we settle into our self over and over again.

My challenge to you: ask yourself in these waning days of Autumn,

What can I do to finally let go of _________________ ?
What do I need to surrender into?
What will make me free?

You don’t have to know the definitive answer. Be with the answer that you have in this moment. We are evolving spirits who, when we listen to our intuition, know what we need in this moment. Trust yourself. Because it is time to enter the bole of your soul and connect with who you truly are.

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

I’d Rather You’d Tell Me No

Have you ever asked a question needing a simple yes or no answer to find the question and the response tipped into an abyss? No answer. You get ghosted. Or maybe you were the one to ghost by tipping that question/answer duo into an abyss. Sometimes a simple yes or no is just too difficult to utter.

I admit to being ghosting and being ghosted. At times, I’ve been too afraid to say no or unwilling to commit myself to the yes. In my fear and unwillingness, both I and the querent were stuck in limbo.

Something different happened when I was asked a question. I cannot tell you what that was, but I do remember my response. I really didn’t want to add one more thing to my to-do list, so out of my mouth came, “no.”

The person blustered a bit and finally said, “You’ve written a book on compassion. What part of that was compassionate?” The words that came out of my mouth surprised even me: “That would be called self-compassion.” Those words left the person speechless.

Self-compassion. Sometimes we say yes instead of saying no because instead of being compassionate we try to please people. Those yeses deplete our body/mind/spirit/heart until we have nothing left to give. When we refuse to answer at all, we fill aggravation, frustration, and anger festers in the void. Both create an unevenness in our life and the other.

No matter how difficult it is, the only way to replenish our self is through the judicious use of no — a practice of self-compassion. Through the practice of self compassion we are able to be compassionate to the other. Saying no is not devaluing the ask, it is just saying I cannot do it. Our “no” frees the person to look elsewhere for their “yes.”

So, instead of scurrying away, squinting your eyes shut — acting like they can’t see you if you can’t see them, take a deep breath. Listen to what your body, mind, emotions, and spirit are saying about your response. Trust that your four aspects holds the wisdom you need. Take another deep breath, ignite that spark within. Say yes or no in ways that feed you.

I call myself a recovering “yes” person. It is not easy to act with your power. If I can do it, so can you.

That is what this time is ab out. We don’t stop because winter calls us into hibernation. We enter into deep reflection in order to discern what to keep and what to use as the kindling of courage that will create a bonfire of dreams realized. Van Hurst, ms, is an intuitive-coach-catalyst. As a contemplative coach, she uses mindfulness practices and intuition tools to create strategies for navigating the mundane and extraordinary.The result of time with Van? Being the change you want to see in the world by creating a blueprint for your life through a deeper connection to your intuition and contemplative nature.