Hope: An Act of Compassion

Over and over again I’ve heard, “Don’t have expectations.” But, if we do not have expectations, where does that leave us? Are we stuck in the futility of life without hope? Because hope, according to Merriam-Webster is an expectation of fulfillment of an act. It is having confidence that what we desire will be realized.

Life without hope feels like a barren desert of cracked earth and dusty air that clogs our pores and nostrils until we are suffocated by despair. Without hope we would lie down upon the cracked earth and allow the locust swarm of dust-despair to cover us. Our suffering would be overwhelming. The way forward is cast in an illusion of failure.

Hope is a great act of compassion. If we have an expectation that this, too, shall pass; well, the energy behind that knowing can increase our mindfulness while lessening the grip of suffering. Hope levitates suffering just enough so that we can peer beneath it into our heart. We can see our suffering shining with the sparks of compassion; and, maybe, just maybe, we can make sense, find meaning, in the challenge of suffering.

Through hope we make peace with our suffering. We own it. Hold it to our heart. Love it unconditionally — for suffering is as much a part of us as joy. Suffering recognized as our own, we whisper, “You are me and I am you. Let us walk the narrow path of woundedness while shiny spark-flakes of compassion provide flickering guidance.” 

Near the end of the journey, I will kiss my suffering gently and work it into the arid soil of my soul. The compost of suffering rejuvenates my arid land. Renewed, I am ready to meet myself in each challenge, in each person, in each situation. Even when I cannot see it, amid suffering are the sparks of hope that give life to my compassion.

Hope is a the powerhouse. We may not be able to change anything in our life but the way we perceive the world. When our perception shifts, we move from the arid desert of desolation into an oasis of renewal. There we slake our thirst on hope, self compassion, and courage. With curious daring we continue our trek through the arid land of suffering into the fertile ground of hoped for peace. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a life coach using the Neural Synchrony™ process, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are Imperfect in an Uncertain World, A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships, and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa intuitively assists clients in navigating their life paths. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

Ode of the Roller Coaster Ride

Oh, Roller Coaster. What lessons you teach beginning with your slow start. Sharp turns. Brilliantly executed stops. Your clang, clang, clang as your wheels meet the rails. Slow, jerky ride as your cars climbed high. Teetering at the top. Then, with a vertical drop, the cars plunged down. All the while my muscles tensed at what unknown was to come. The 90-second ride seemed to last an eternity.

When I was a teenager, I remember being at an amusement park so excited to ride the roller coaster. It was a dream — the excitement of being held to the seat by a thin belt and thrashing about at speeds yet untried. Well, I took that rides and discovered something very important about myself. I. do. not. like. roller. coasters. Do you?

Decades later, during mindfulness training, I learned the key to roller coaster riding — living in the moment. Enjoying the rushing wind, the safety of being belted in, and the unknown of what comes next. That roller coaster taught me a lesson that I was to learn so many years later — to live in the moment, give up control, and relax into the ride. 

Because that is what mindfulness encourages us to do. When we are mindfully aware, we recognize that we are not in control of the externals. We can only be in control of our self — our thoughts, words, and actions. We  choose to react or respond to the fits and starts, plunges and ascents. Our life. Our choice.

Mindfulness breeds an objectivity that empowers us to make choices that shift us from reaction to response. When mindful, we see through the illusion perpetrated by our fears. We are powered by our courage. Instead of the roller coasters in our life being fearsome, they become opportunities to be curious, daring as we courageously ride the wind of life’s uncertainty. 

To be mindful is not to cure all that seeks to unsettle us. Mindfulness provides the means to relax into our life and see the possibilities amid the commotion. No matter what barriers we confront, mindfulness is the key to moving more smoothly through life. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a life coach using the Neural Synchrony™ process, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are Imperfect in an Uncertain World, A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships, and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa intuitively assists clients in navigating their life paths. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

Because I am the Light (& You are too!)

The sun sets in streaks of red and orange gently fading into purple. The sky darkens. The stars appear one after the other. In the inkiness of the world, I feel a shiver of fear run down my spine. Breathing in I remind myself that fear I feel has little to do with the dark and everything to do with my perception of what creeps in the blurring shadows.

Resolute, step by step, I journey deeper into the shadows. One realization has me stepping further into the shadows. That inner knowing? I am the light. I need no external light to guide me down the path of the unknown. For when I trust myself, I am led by even the tiniest glow shining from the core of my being. 

When the darkness casts shadows that flicker in confusion, I breathe in courage and exhale curious daring. With warrior energy I become the guide of my life. No, I do not come out with a mighty sword ready to slay my perceived enemies. I am a warrior of peace and compassion vowing to spend time in the silence to gain objectivity.

Objective perspective is my weapon of choice. And, I use it to befriend the wounded parts of myself that clang in resonance to the shadows. This is not a calming resonance but a dissonant wake up call. Louder and louder it becomes until I can no longer ignore it. I step closer to that which I fear — my imperfections and illusions — hoping to resolve the discord.

Instead of allowing the illusion of who I am not really to overwhelm me, I grow in my light. My light shines brightly on my imperfections. It shines with my truth. With the light of my truth, I make allies of each illusion, each shadow, each imperfection that is me — until it is not. 

Once allied, I no longer fight against who I am not — who I can never be. I listen and learn from each illusion, each shadow, each imperfection. Each conversation ends in gratitude for those parts that are not me. Each of them challenge me to discover who I really am. And, in this exploration become the best person that I could be. 

In the learning, I recognize my compassion warriorship. I am not a warrior who fights battles and slays enemies. No, I am a warrior to befriends my flaws, acts with courage, and steps into the world with curious daring. I am a warrior not because I see the light of hope and grace, but because I am an unwavering light of grace and hope. 

In this knowing lit by my light, I shed tears of transformation into a world illuminated by my light’s reflection. Will  you do the same? 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

Is it just stuff?

It’s just stuff. It’s just a job. It’s just words. It’s just a distraction.

This seems to be one of those weeks when I am being assured by others using the phrase “It’s just [fill in the blank]” followed by “Don’t be so invested. Don’t care so much. Just be. Let it go.” And, I found myself frustrated even as I thought, “Easier said than done.” Then I found myself wondering is being too invested is wrong. Is it a crime to care?

I’m a passionate person who often gets hooked in my emotions and the feelings of others. Whatever I do, I give it my all. And, that might be a problem. Often I look at others and perceive that there are giving what they can. They aren’t are invested. Even as I write those words I feel judgment seeping from my socially constructed reality (SCR). If I do not pull myself back, I go into full judgment mode. Stuck in the unrealistic parts of my SCR creates unhappiness.

An SCR is our perception of the world. It can be a tricky thing. While some of it is based on accurate perceptions; there is a lot based on our judgments, assumptions, and beliefs. Those skew our perception what is really happening. If unchecked, we are triggered and react. I react based upon my interpretation of facts instead of doing what Merton suggests — “looking at the factors behind the facts.”

Those factors behind the facts provide the real information. I might see someone who is habitually late for work and believe they have a poor work ethic. The truth may be somewhere in the gray. Because of finances they may need to take a bus and cannot control its timing. They may have family responsibilities or something else that has little to do with who they are and everything to do with external circumstances.

When I bump up against someone who says, “it’s just [fill in the blank],” I recognize that my SCR is not in alignment with theirs. They do not view what I see with as much importance. Does that make my SCR more accurate than theirs? Or, is their SCR a more accurate world view? No to both. Those words, their SCR, provides me with opportunity to reflect and introspect on my SCR. I dig deep into its soil to discover the roots of my reactions. Those roots? My judgments, assumptions, and beliefs.

So, instead of getting upset or anxious because I’ve failed to realize the importance or lack of importance of an event, I can look at the item, the relationship, or the situation and honestly figure out what I am hooked by. When I name the hook, I can decide for myself what is truly “just” or what deeper meaning it has in my life. 

What in your SCR catches you?

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019

A Tale of Wisdom Seeking & Wisdom Keeping

There is a book of knowledge and wisdom  and grace. Its pages are filled with great love, unwavering compassion, deep sorrow, and piercing suffering. What is the name of the book? Where can it be purchased?

The book's name is woven with mystery, magic, and grace. It is not found in any bookstore or on the shelves of a library. It is not available as an ebook. In fact, this book hasn’t even been published. It is written in each moment of every day by the experiences of our soul on the pages of our heart. 

Consciously, and unconsciously, we choose the topics, the plot, and each resolution. Although an event or person may appear unexpectedly, we decide how to weave them into our story. Sometimes this weave is uneven reaction; at other times, it is a seamless transition weave of response. No matter how uneven or seamless, we learn from each reaction and response.

Although we are the author of our unique book, its unfolding is by no means a solo venture. We gather ink of wisdom, love, and grace wherever we are and whomever we connect with. In fact, each page reflects the ways we shine our truest, most best self in the moment. We seek wisdom, we keep wisdom, we write our story sharing our knowledge, wisdom, and grace with our self and the world.

To be a wisdom keeper and a wisdom seeker is to be the power behind the unfolding tale. While we may be shaken by disheartening events and unexpected shifts in our plot line, we do not give up. We travel the detour looking for meaning and opportunity in what happens. As we heal from inevitable wounds inflicted, we rise to greet the next moment with wisdom and grace. That is all that is required. 

Each day brings an ending and a beginning. We knot the words of what is done while blessing the learnings. We tie on new threads of grace welcoming each colorful strand as a new opportunity to learn and grow and live. But, mostly, we weave ink to paper knowing that each day is time unfolding bringing us closer to the grace of who we are. We share the treasure that we are with the world. That treasure? An outpouring of peace, compassion, and joy.

In this newness, I wish you an infinity of ability to gain wisdom and live large in each unfolding moment. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, professional speaker, and author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2019