Arm in Arm, Hand in Hand: An Arc of Compassion

So many questions, so few answers. So many dilemmas that, on the surface, have few solutions. I find myself wondering that if we cannot find adequate answers or doable solutions, how shall we live? How will we navigate through the uncertainties? 

Perhaps, the simplest solution or the beginning of resolution is to walk arm in arm with one another fully prepared to give each other a hand; to raise up another. To accomplish this, we do not focus on what hinders another — these are manifestations of their suffering. 

We focus on how the other and our self can lift up one another and ultimately the world through their skills and talents. In moments of compassionate understanding, we unlink our arms and clasp the other’s hand not to say, “job well done,” but to say, I am here for you. With a hand up we help others lift themselves to a place where they can accomplish that well done. 

Arm in arm, hand to hand, we create arcs across chasms. These bridges raise us from a place of suffering into a world of possibility. Here we find opportunities to become our best, truest self. We create a world not of divides but of a patchwork of connection — a network that we travel, as individuals and collectively, into the light of realization.

This light of realization is not somewhere out there. We do not strike a match against a rough surface, and the light flares externally. No, each of us is a piece of kindling that catches our internal fire. Our ember grows with each thought, word, and action that raises up our self or another. As we link arm with arm, we create a network for the light to flare across, to join with other lights, and to create a powerful light that invites the dark to cast aside its cloak and shine with us. 

We may never be able to answer those boggling questions or solved our perceived dilemmas, but together we do respond to the uncertainties in the world in ways that encourage our incredible lightness of being. Light shining we clasp the hand of another. Our spark flares across the network lifting us into a place of increased light. Arm in arm we transform the world by raising up one another mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

points of light in a darkened world: the i&a blog

vanessa f hurst, ms

I smile. You smile. The moment transforms with  the grace of that interaction. 

I smile. You frown. I do not want your grimace to trigger a reaction in me. I choose not be caught by the trigger but to soar on the wings of the joy within myself.

2018 has challenged me to live gracefully in uncertain times. From the ever changing weather to connecting in job interviews to navigating relationships to finding joy, I am mindful about the unevenness present in many unfolding moments. 

I have managed to reframe many of those moments — turning the dread of uncertainty into the possibility of real transformation. In other moments I get caught in a tsunami of fear raging toward me. Paralyzed, I feel the remnant drops of fear splatter my face as the wave falls just short of my being. I practice self compassion. I laugh at my imperfections until I am okay with who I am in that moment.

In those splattering drops of fear my inner wisdom whispers, “Trust. Hope. It will get better.” I find myself wondering, “Will it? If so, when?” 

I am not certain that I want to hear the answer to that question. For, we can no longer measure the uncertainty by old standards. Better now does not always measure up to what was better then. The ruler we have no longer has the right markings on it. This new world requires that we measure better or worse by a new standard that is evolving as we do. In this evolution we find ways to raise the bar of better using our hope and trust.

So, hope and trust are needed as fear and calm vie for our attention. Hope is being able to see the uncertainty in a new way — to feel the glimmer of possibility warm our being. Trust is knowing, no matter what, that we have our integrity — the ability to act with courage as we do the right thing. Together hope and trust power our journey through the uncertainty and into our compassionate, authentic response. 

Today I stand on the shore of uncertainty and watch the next tsunami rolled closer and closer. I do not cringe in fear as I feel its remnants spatter upon my face. No, I vow not to give one more microscopic particle of energy to a fear filled reaction to any uncertainty in the world. I embrace hope and call upon my integrity to transform myself into a point of light in a darkened world. Join me.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

i love you enough

“Why is compassion so eff-ing hard?” asked one participant. I have wondered about the answer to that question ever since it was asked. In a world of increasing fascism, narcissism, and judgmentalism, sometimes it takes conscious effort to be a shining point of compassion. Sometimes it takes a magnifying glass to see those shining points of compassionate light

In the years since that question was posed, I have witnessed many situations where being compassionate was difficult if not borderline impossible. As a result, I have questions of my own. “How do we stop reacting to someone whose actions have resulted in suffering for themselves or another?” “How do we respond with compassionate to that person instead of enabling their bad behavior?” 

The answer to both questions is by being empathetic. Unless we feel the feelings of another, we may never know their depth of suffering. But, not getting stuck in empathy may be more difficult than being compassionate to a perpetrator of suffering. Our challenge is to feel empathy without being overwhelmed by the feelings of another and being pulled into a downward spiral of angst. 

With awareness of another’s emotion, we move through those feelings into the next stage of empathy. Here we understand the motives that underlie the suffering. Our understanding is without judgment or defense of the actions of another. While we recognize the deep woundedness of the perpetrator, in no circumstance is causing suffering okay. 

We realize that their actions should not and do not come without consequences. Compassion dictates that we share compassion with all involved while holding the perpetrator accountable for their actions. Through our acts of compassion the groundwork is laid for real change in all involved.

This compassion says “I love you enough to tear off the scabs of suffering and allow your wounds to breathe healing from inside out.” “I love you enough to never judge you for your actions.” “I love you enough to be with you as you experience the consequences of your actions.” “I love you enough to touch my spark of compassion to your spark; and, in doing so, refocus the light that guides you to your authentic self.” 

Our combined light shines brightly into the marrow of our individual and combined compassion essence. Together, we gain the strength, the courage, the curious daring, to be compassion warriors. We create a community of healing. We show up in this community of compassion as our best self who calls forth authenticity in others. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / 

Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018

navigating fiercely and compassionately

Fear. It tangles me up in knots…puts a  stranglehold on my mind…runs amok in my emotions…shadows my connection to spirit. These are not malicious acts of a nefarious enemy. They are the actions of a friend seeking to get my attention.

We live in a uncertain world where one misstep has the potential to throw us into a sea of self doubt and fear. Tumbling into fear, we are no longer able to see past the imperfections into who we really are. The whispered illusions of fear deafen us to anything else. Paralyzed, deaf, and blind, we cannot be in the moment while wrestling our doubts and perceived inadequacies. 

Transforming fear from foe to friend requires a paradigm shift. Although we are afraid, we do not judge or ignore the vapors of trepidation wafting into our body, mind, spirit, and heart. Instead, we dive deeply into the marrow of our being. Past the shallows of fear, we open our ears to the singing roots deeply embedded in the bottom muck. We listen to the voice behind the fear.

It is inevitable that we get so tangled in the knots of fear that we cannot hear the whispers behind its paralyzing force. When fear catches you in knots and tangles, try this:

Breathe…make each breath longer than the last until you are breathing from your diaphragm…feel where fear is tangled in your physical body…listen to the fear knots of your mind…see how your emotions are snarled with fear…name what is at the root of your fear. As the knowing settles in your body, let it untangle the fear knots…acknowledge the illusion revealed…breathe it out of your body…breathe in peace…

At the root of your fear may be an image, a memory, a word, or a strong emotion. It may be a combination of all four. As fear begins to detangle from my being, I journal about the knowledge fear shares with me. In my journaling, maybe the fear doesn’t go away completely, but it loses some of its sharp edges.

Befriending fear is possible when we wrap ourself in courage and curious daring. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear but the acknowledgment of fear. And, curious daring is a dance with both partners — courage to be curious and daring to overcome fears. We navigate fiercely and compassionately through our life using this triad compass.

Maybe fear tangles you in knots…but maybe, just maybe, with courage and curious daring you can  befriend fear and unravel the knots.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

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/ Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018 /

Compassion & the Voice of Truth

We all have them — moments of awareness which seed our life with truth. Some are big epiphanies — life altering moments that totally change us. After an epiphany it is difficult to go back to the farce of who we thought we were. The truth is too real for us to forget.

Then there are the small, almost inconsequential nudges that serve to slightly realign our life trajectory. Each aha moment opens us to subtly understanding the illusions we harbor about our self, others, and our world. These small realizations are tougher to accept as life transformers. They are easier to negate, disbelieve, or explain away. If we ignore the transformative information, it resurfaces louder and louder until we have no recourse but to listen. 

It is an act of self compassionate listen to both the big epiphanies and the small ahas. The shouts and the whispers are voices of truth that guide us on this life journey. Even if we fear the message, compassion and her companion courage power our transformation.

How do we compassionately engage the messages of our intuition? By quietly embracing our solitude. Resting in the silence we clearly hear what is said. We listen to the messages while attending to any adverse reactions. Using all of our senses, we decipher the message and fashion a response.

Compassion not only powers our response to intuition. It calms the angst of a response not quite being in alignment with the message. Compassion gently reminds that intuition is not a destination; it is a guide for our journey. Each time we listen and respond, it gets easier to hear our intuition. In time, we are so connected that we hear on a soul level and respond with our heart. We trust that with intuition’s guidance, we know the way forward.

Listening to our intuition takes practice. We are humble and vulnerable as we grow a garden seeded by the big epiphanies and small aha moments. With courage and curious daring we nurture our garden with compassion. The result? A life harvest of truth.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook /

 Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2018