Anger insidiously sneaks up on us. Bam! The force of our anger results in the war cry of reaction. Lines of communication disintegrate.
Yet, at other times, we are aware of anger seeping into the cracks of our being. Drip by indignant drip it fills a soul parched by fear. In those moments of awareness, before the flashpoint of reaction, we choose not to allow the force of anger to wreak havoc on our self. Instead, we use the power of anger to respond with lovingkindness.
I spent many decades believing the fallacy that anger was bad and to be avoided at all cost. Somehow being angry was shameful. We needed to be able to ride through everything that happens without being angry. When I accepted that anger was an unavoidable emotion, the shame dissipated and my propensity to react with anger minimized. Anger became an ally in my personal transformation.
Anger is not the problem. Our avoiding naming the roots of our anger and the triggered reactions are. When we acknowledge our anger, we are better able to identify the affects of triggers. Instead of ignoring or negating our anger, we dive deeply to discover its source. We name what was triggered deep inside of us. Perhaps we find fear, feeling disrespected, or the impotence of not being a change agent. Naming the roots takes some of the sting out of our feelings.
Our anger is an early warning system. It tells us to stop, enter the silence, and be mindful of what is occurring. Anger cautions us to think before we act. When we are mindful, we can choose to be overwhelmed by the force of anger or to be propelled by the anger’s power into a place of transformation.
To use the power of your anger:
- Create a habit of full body listening. (This is a way of attending to how you body, mind, spirit, and heart are bombarded by various emotions.)
- Identify how you react physically, mentally, and emotionally to anger.
- Name the roots of your anger to minimize the impact of its force.
- Discern how you can engage the power of anger to bring about transformation.
- Respond with compassion for yourself and others.
Once you get into the routine of listening to your body, identifying any triggers, and formulating responses, the time needed to short circuit the force of your anger lessens. Anger then becomes an ally on the journey of transforming to your best authentic self.
Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa assists clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations.
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