Non-Violence: Return to the Older Unity

All around me I find opportunities to react — to think thoughts tinged with judgment, to say hurtful things, to act defensively. So many situations in which I am given a choice – to can act upon growing fear or find ways to be courageous. A new world of growing uncertainty is filled with fear and triggers of anger. 

How do we acknowledge our fears while confronting the tumultuous vortex of uncertainty? By living from a nonviolent stance. We do not wake up one morning having shed our violent tendencies. Nonviolence is cultivated through objectivity. As an objective observer we practice non-attachment, non-judgment, and non-defensive behavior. These 3nons are not negative; rather, when coupled with the 4non, non-violence, they are ways of being in the neutral, middle ground. 

Non-attached, we do not cling to what we want or shove away what we have an aversion to. We are aware of how we cling anxiously or what we push away out of fear. When non-attached, we recognize the roots of our reactions and reframe them into responses. 

Non-judgmental, we are aware of how our internal monologue spins stories, draws assumptions, and assigns motives. We recognize that this internal conversation is based upon our reality while acknowledging that it does not represent the realities of others. We seek to understand the realities of others.

Non-defensive, we refashion our personal reality to more accurately depict the world as it is not as we wish it were. We acknowledge the many ways that we defend our illusions while striving to act from our most authentic self. We forgive our self for the many illusions we accepted as real. 

Nonviolence doesn’t mean that we passively move through life ignoring the tumult. Being nonviolent means we know who we are. We acknowledge our judgments and defenses. We recognize how we get caught in attachments. We attempt to understand not only our self but the many others around us. This understanding is foundational to how we interact in the world. Within our understanding lays the power to defuse our judgments and defenses and release our attachments. Within  our understanding are the roots of our non-violence. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017

Bring Intent to Action: Hope, Courage, & Curious Daring

Outside my window is a squirrel leaping from barren branch to barren branch seemingly unfazed by the fact that the greenery is gone and winter is moments away. Exposed to the wintery elements, he springs from one limb to the next. I am amazed that he keeps his balance. For Squirrel, courage and curious daring are inherent in each movement. He lives within the possibilities of his world. 

Squirrel does not stop his playful exploration because the world is gray and the air is nippy. He scampers from tree to tree, rustles through the dry leaf carpet, and steadfastly climbs spindly tree trunks. He is the master of living in the moment whether that moment is one of abundance or adversity.  I wonder if he laughs at the antics of humans. 

I am curious — does he have an actual destination as he catapults from one branch to the next and then scampers down the side of a tree? I want to be a squirrel whisperer as he freezes silently on the ground while watching me with those serious brown eyes. Drawing ever closer to him, I imagine that he is discerning friend or foe. On those days that I can get to within a foot and a half of him without scaring him away, I know that I am in peace-filled balance. 

With a squirrel mind, I ponder the ups and downs of my life and those of others. I burrow beneath the crinkly leaf carpet of adversity to discover what is stopping me from being authentic. I feel the inspiration and freedom in each catapult and leap. I am filled with hope, courage, and curious daring for nothing is impossible in the simplicity of being.  

Coming back to human, I engender squirrel energy through hope, courage, and curious daring. In times that I cannot seem to muster hope, courage, or curious daring, I ask, “what is stopping you?” And, know that only I can answer why, at times, I do not have the hope that ignites the courage and curious daring that lays dormant in my heart.

I have come to realize that, for me, squirrel energy is all about hope — with hope our actions mirror those daring leaps from limb to limb. When we are disconnected from hope, we timidly cower under the crispy leaf carpet. Hope doesn’t create illusions, with hope we can boldly discard the illusion and stand within the power of our courage and curious daring.  

As we edge ever closer to the year’s end, I wish you the energy of Brother Squirrel: may you have the curious daring to leap, the courage to trust, and the hope to sustain your through the barren time.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017

Create Your Intent of Love, Joy, & Hope

The days shorten. We edge closer to the end of the year. There is more darkness than light. It is that time of the year when we wake to a darkened window and drive home with our lights on. We are in the dark, barren time of the year.

Yet, in the darkness of winter are celebrations of light. We share love, joy, and hope with loved ones, friends, coworkers, and even strangers. Our bodies crave the light that our mind, spirit, and heart know — within the darkness are opportunities to live fully. We have only to intentionally experience love, joy, and hope.

Perhaps we are not even aware of the love, the joy, and the hope that hovers outside our vision. They are blips of light in the darkness — brief word filled and wordless opportunities: kind words for an intimate stranger, listening to the sorrow of a friend, smiling at the moon’s illuminated beauty, breathing in the crispness of the night sky, basking in the warmth of sun’s rays. 

While some of these moments are spontaneous, we can consciously create these moments. We plan get-togethers and other ways to consciously engage in moments of joy and happiness. These intentional moments are opportunities for our light to be reflected into the world. As our divine spark connects with the billions of points of light in the world, we are recharged. 

How can we shine ever brightly? By consciously setting our intent not several weeks from now, but beginning on December 18^th. As the moon grows larger, so can our intent. On December 18^th ask, “What is my intent? How do I want to grow my life? What do I want for myself in 2018?” Then as the moon grows over 14 days, spend time each day focusing on your intent and finding ways to share it in your actions. 

Then on January 1, 2018, when the moon reveals herself in her fullness, affirm who you are and how you shine in a world whose light ebbs and flows amid the shadows of darkness. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017

Being a Mystic: Traversing the Web of All

I had my first mystical experience at the age of 30 months. As I chanted during a Catholic Latin Mass, I was one with the Sacred, the presiding priest, and every person in the pew. I remember feeling the embrace of Divine as I intoned with the priest and answered with the congregation. I felt the melody of divine love that filled with wonder and awe. It wasn’t until my sister elbowed me that I came crashing back into the mundane.

You see, at 30 months, I did not realize that this experience was out of the ordinary. I did not know that mystics were the few in number who lived in communion with the Sacred and regularly experienced wonder and awe. I didn’t understand that my experience of communion — unity with all — was out of the ordinary. A somatic memory of this event was lodged into my being. I promptly forgot about this experience only to have it resurface decades later.

I shared this experience in the forward of my first book. It was then that I finally identified this experience as mystic. Since then I have spent some time glancing over my shoulder into other memories. What have I discovered? That what happened to me as a 30 month old was not an isolated event. It was a true, poignant, unfiltered memory of how my inner mystic connected to all. I had only to open my eyes to recognize how I truly interacted in the world.

Being a mystic is not for the exalted few. It is available to all of us when we open our eyes and see the wonder and awe of the world. When we peer into our life with mystic’s eyes, we see with empathy and compassion. We know with certainty who we are, what our our responsibilities to the world are, and how we are required to interact in the world. 

As a mystic, we connect to the Sacred in everything we do. We travel the web that connects us and all of creation to the Source. We understand the necessity of this connectivity. Using the power of our empathy, our compassion sparks across that web — the whole becomes stronger than any part or any combination of parts. This knowing is foundational to a mystic’s engagement in the world.

For a world that is so connected on a material level, we have forgotten the old unity that connects us to one another through our body, mind, spirit, and heart. The web is weakened as siloed webs are created. Chaos reigns; the web of all unravels. The mystic voice that cries to be heard is falling in a chasm of deaf ears. And, I wonder, do we have to destroy the web in order to recreate it? I do not know the answer to that question. But, I hope not.

What will bring us back to the old unity? It will happen when we see wonder and awe reflected in the eyes of everyone we meet. It will happen when we acknowledge the wonder and awe reflected in all of creation. Rediscovering the older unity will occur when we courageously address our fears of scarcity. When we stop judging and defending, we will find those pockets of peace and calm within the chaos. And, in those pockets we will accept our inner mystic and respond with wonder and awe in each interaction. We will be a daring paradigm of mystics powered by wonder and awe and manifested in empathy and compassion.

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Neural Synchrony™ Facilitator, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion  Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017

In Armor's Chink: The Dance of Beauty & Joy

I woke up to the world dancing with beauty. Before my eyes beauty stumbled as sorrow cut into the dance.  But, beauty was not long without a partner. The melody of joy twined with the broken pieces of beauty. As joy and beauty danced, they wove a peace that no winds of discord could tear. This beauty renewed was woven with vulnerability and honesty.

This Fall I took on a part time gig that continues to teach me a lot about external and internal beauty. We create so much armor to get us through the day. Maybe it is the armor of attitude. Perhaps it is carefully chosen clothing and meticulously applied cosmetics.This armor is any way that we project an illusion that hides our true self from the world. Whatever it is, this armor is the face, authentic and illusory, that we share with the world. 

I’ve noticed that there is nothing magical about this armor; really, it is just a facade. It is a shell we create to protect who we truly are from cruelty in the world. If you look closely enough, that armor has a chink, a thin place. Shining from that thin place, is the authentic yet hidden self we are fearful to show. But, no one can truly hide behind the facade of illusion. When we look closely with our entire being, we see beyond the armor and into the grace and the wounds of the other. 

We are not the beauty of this external armor. We are the beauty built upon our imperfections — those parts of us that make us real. It is our authentic self that softens the wrinkles and the scars. We recognize that whatever supposed external flaws we have do not define us. In fact, those things we view as imperfections are part of our life journey. 

As a beauty advisor, I help people create their external armor, but that is not what I am really about. While I may help choose the best moisturizer or the most appealing eye shadow, I look beyond the physical and really see the person I am assisting. For me, this beauty consulting gig is less about finding the best colors or the best skin care. It is all about helping another peer past their armor and into the true beauty of their authentic self.

Wishing you eyes to see into your armor's chink. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017

Shards of Gratitude Strewn Amid Suffering

Reflections of gratitude glint unexpectedly in unforgiving lands. An unforeseen moment of gratitude shocks us into awareness. Whispers of gratitude remind us to be here now as we find respite tucked into the jagged rocks of suffering. 

It seems counterintuitive that within suffering are shards of gratitude. But, when we acknowledge even the tiniest awareness of gratitude, we receive enough light to navigate the murky shadow-casting space of suffering. By reframing, we find tiny shards of gratitude.

Over the past five years I have become expert in the art of reframing. But, in those moments when I am discouraged and find myself paralyzed by a scary reality, it is difficult to understand that I have a choice of living in suffering or moving beyond the grip of fear suffering produces. In those moments suffering is my what is. 

I do not have to stay in this frame of suffering is what is. I can accept the challenge to see beyond my life circumstances — to courageously see suffering as what is not. Suffering is not who we are. It is a life challenge we navigate. Along this path are splinters of gratitude inviting us to pick them up. With curious daring we piece the shards together. This vessel of gratitude, no matter how tiny, holds life as it is. 

I am not saying that any of this is easy. Some days I’d rather stay in bed with my clowdering cats instead of searching for shards of gratitude. The reality is that no matter how good we are at living in gratitude, we still might find our self mired in suffering. We just cannot seem to get past pain and defeat. Reframing takes limitless courage and the curiously daring belief that this too shall pass [let it be soon].

In moments of despair I remember, gratitude doesn’t make our vessel whole. Sometimes gratitude is a small, inconsequential, and easily missed shard that gives us a new way of perceiving our reality. With trust and awareness, we see the healing light glinting off that shard. Often that reflection of gratitude is enough to trigger the energy to try one more time — to be courageous and curiously daring as we prepare to meet the challenge of suffering. 

Even a spark of gratitude turns our suffering upside-down. In the reframing we discover what truly is. Our reframing does not banish the suffering; rather, we learn the lesson and meet the challenge inherent in our suffering. We befriend the suffering as we discover its purpose. Through gratitude we heal those parts wounded by suffering.

Sometimes suffering refuses to leave; it clings to us. Maybe we haven’t learned the lesson or perhaps there are so many lessons embedded in the suffering we do not know where to begin. After an extended period of perverse suffering, it may get harder and harder to find those shards of gratitude. Do. Not. Give. Up. The shards of gratitude are still there. In their anonymity they might be the only things holding you together during this time of suffering. 

If you cannot find the splinter of gratitude, find someone who can. Then, hold the splinter in your hands. Breathe in gratitude. Allow it to course through your body. Befriend your gratitude for for it moves us through suffering into joy-filled respite. 

In gratitude for each of you who read this blog. You are my shards of gratitude on this day. 

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa @ vanessa@intentandaction.com for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

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Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017

I Dare You. I Curiously Dare You

Have you every noticed on a cloudy day how the colors around you stand out against the dreariness? Although you see the colors as a stark contrast to the gloom, they do not touch your soul. The gloom seeps into everything dimming your perception. In the gloom induced fatigue, even the simplest acts of compassion seem out of reach. 

When the sun bursts through the clouds, it ignites the essence of those same colors. The world brightens. It becomes effervescent. We, and the world, are permeated with laughter, joy, and happiness. We dance to an encouraging rhythm. Boosted by the light, acting compassionately feels so right, is so easy, in those moments. We act upon our intent to be compassionate without conscious thought. 

Moving intentionally to the the rhythm of compassion means that although our compassion might be triggered externally, we no longer need an external light to bring the effervescence of joy and happiness into our lives. When we are aware, the flares of our internal spark change the mundane colors of the world into something extraordinary. And, that extraordinary is the pathway to compassionate action. 

How do we shift from the mundane into the extraordinary? By sharing acts of compassion-kindness. The big acts are often easy. In those moments we alleviate clearly defined suffering. We talk to a friend who is grieving, help someone with a tangible or intangible burden, give money to a charity — these intentional acts make apparent, tangible differences.

But, how do we cultivate a life that is a constant echo of our compassion essence? By engaging in seemingly inconsequential acts of compassion, our spark flares lighting our way. These acts are responses to everyday situations that we may not not even label as suffering. We might not even name our actions as compassion. Not only do the acts hold kernels of suffering but also our engagement alleviates that subtle suffering. Our actions are ones of compassionate respect. 

To define compassionate respect, let’s answer several questions. When have you

• Failed to remove dirty dishes from your table at restaurant that required self bussing? 
• Missed a trash can and let the refuse lay on the ground?
• Decided not to purchase something and placed it willy nilly in the store?
• Talked loudly on a cell phone while checking out?
• Disrupted others with a loud conversation at a coffee shop?
• Didn’t thank someone who had provided a service?

You need not share your answers with anyone else. The purpose of these reflection points is not to shame or blame. Each is meant to raise awareness of opportunities to share compassionate respect.

Questions answered. Compassion challenge offered. As you edge closer to the end of the year,  whenever possible,

• Do not make extra work for someone else
• Show respect by being present to others
• Thank others for what they do for you
• Recognize that you are part of community
• Be a part of community

These simple acts reveal the extraordinary that is present in each flare of our compassion spark. They make differences in ways that you may never quite understand or even realize. These easily definable guidelines power your life through compassionate respect. Take the challenge, I dare you. I curiously dare you to be compassion.

  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017

An Ark Rocking in a Flood of Misunderstanding: Empathy & Civility

Do you ever feel like an ark rocking in a flood of misunderstanding? It seems that we have lost our ability to communicate with each other. We talk over one another or wait until the other stops talking only to share our judgments and assumptions. Instead of listening to understand, we listen to interject. 

Empathy is lost in the flood waters made murky by judgments and assumptions — we no longer look at a person as someone who is real — who lives a life of joy and challenge. Rather, we see the person as an object upon which we heap our judgments and assumptions. Without empathy we provide solutions and judgmental proclamations that have little to do with what is happening to the other and everything to do about our interpretation of their situation. So assured that we know the answer, we have lost our ability to be civil. 

I do not believe that our empathetic heart is lost. It is bobbing about in the waters of misunderstanding. Civility bobs alongside empathy in those murky waters. But, all is not lost. We can rediscover our empathetic heart and civil spirit through intentional listening and compassionate response. When we listen with intent, we are aware of our judgments and assumptions. We see how they inform our reactions. With this awareness comes the power of choice.

Instead of reacting from our assumptions and judgments, our empathetic heart opens wide. Through it we hear more than just words. We see more than just the outcome of the other’s unfortunate series of events. With empathy and civility we genuinely want to know how the other is feeling. Our intent is to empathetically understand the other’s situation and respond to their needs with compassionate civility. Powered by empathy and civility we become compassion’s presence.

Compassionate response is a natural outcome of intentional listening. We take the information gained during listening and fashion our compassionate response. When we are intentional, we no longer struggle to keep our head above the murky water of misunderstanding. We cling to the lifelines of empathy and civility as the murky waters recede. We no longer cling to our misunderstanding of the other's situation. Through a connection of empathy, the other feels heard and seen. 

While we might not be able to resolve the situation that caused the suffering, we are present to the other. No longer alone, the other’s angst and suffering is soothed. As the waters of misunderstanding recede, a landscape sown with the seeds of civility and compassion appears. The world gives birth to possibilities of hope and peace.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa  for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017

From Yes to No: The Power of Self Compassionate

I am no longer a “yes” (wo)man. You know, the person who will do anything for everyone. I am no longer the first volunteer am readily be drafted without thought of how I might be negatively impacted. What happened? I realized how debilitating saying yes when I should have said no can be. 

Once I acknowledged the suffering that I inadvertently caused myself, I reflected upon what it meant to be compassionate. While saying no instead of yes seems counterintuitive to being compassionate, I learned that saying “no” was the most powerful act of self compassion.

Although my shift from arbitrarily saying yes to everything to intentionally discerning where to help was gradual, the need to courageously stand in my own power was emphasized during a brief conversation in which decided not to volunteer. In the past volunteering for the organization had been emotionally draining. Realizing this, I declined to volunteer.

When I decided not to help, my no was challenged. I was asked, “What part of that is compassionate?” My reply? “That would be called self compassion.” I am not sure who was more surprised by those words. At the end of the conversation, I was empowered by my self compassion.

As a result of that conversation, I recognized my transition from being a yes (wo)man to a practitioner of self compassion. I accepted that ultimately the responsibility for my suffering was not triggered by the person who sought my help. Rather, my suffering was rooted in a strong desire to help another regardless of its impact on me. 

In moving away from an unconditional “yes,” I separated my desires from the needs of the person or organization requesting my help. Self compassionate demands that I recognize when helping is life giving for me and when it triggers suffering. I practice compassion to all concerned even when others question my actions.

Living a compassion filled life has created an understanding that in every interaction is an exchange of energy. Before agreeing to a specific task or interaction, I discern how I am energized or depleted by my decision. Thus, my decision becomes about me and what I need instead of my fears about what I will not receive. I realize that compassion asks that we do not give our self away. Compassion requires that we act in ways that balance our outpouring of compassion with the filling of our well of compassion. In this balancing we become a compassionate presence in a world of suffering.  

Vanessa F. Hurst, ms, is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who weaves her inner wisdom into all she touches. Vanessa offers Neural Synchrony™ sessions to assist clients in navigating their life paths with intuition. Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action. Contact Vanessa for keynotes, programs, and consultations. 

Website / LinkedIn Profile / Facebook / Twitter: @fyrserpent / ©2017