Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Compassion & Grief



“How could you leave me?”


“I feel empty.”


“I am afraid at what lurks in the bottomless pit of sorrow.”




Those words or similar ones are echoes of the despair that accompanies grief. Instead of listening to the cries of grief, we run from here to there filling our self with activity. We do anything so that we do not acknowledge the grief that simmers inside of us. But, this grief does not go away.

No matter how much we try to ignore those feelings, the simmering soon becomes a rolling boil. And, much to our surprise, a volcanic eruption of grief bursts into our life. The resulting flow of lava burns the landscape of our being. Our suffering and woundedness intensifies.

Although touching that deep core of grief may seem frightening and overwhelming, we do not have to venture to the chamber of grief magma alone. Hand-in-hand with compassion, we can acknowledge and move through these feelings. Grief is not longer an adversary. It becomes first an intimate stranger and, then, beloved companion. Processing grief often requires a therapist, but a mindful practice that incorporates the 4nons helps to identify and release the emptiness while recognizing love.

Try this: find a quiet place…focus on your breath…don’t try to shift it…just notice your breath…be aware of how your grief is speaking through your breath…notice how your breath flows to places in your body…listen to your body’s cries of grief…listen without attaching to your reaction…

Do not cling to the grief…do not push it away…just be…it is easy to judge the grief as good or bad…this or that…don’t label…just be in the energy of your grief….do not defend your right to grieve…do not justify your need hang on to it…accept your grief for what it is…acknowledge your great loss…become aware of your thoughts toward grief…if you notice words of violence…hatred…anger…despair…allow them to drift away on your breath…be within the grief as an objective observer.

Return to your breath…feel the wisps of compassion that enter with every breath…allow the compassion to flow through you…feel it enter the cracks where grief hides…where grief festers…meet grief as an intimate stranger…someone bringing you a great gift…remembering the great love that you had…recognizing the loss…allow compassion to mingle with the gift…turn to the byproducts of the gift…the angst, the desolation, despair, anger…see them lift from you body…exhale them…

Feel the mantle of compassion surround you…rest within its embrace…feel your suffering evaporate…just be…

Grief is a companion for our journey. No matter how we try to shove it away, it remains until we acknowledge and embrace it. Learn the lessons and celebrate what we lost. With compassion we can befriend grief, learn from it, and heal our wounds.

Vanessa

Vanessa F. Hurst is Compassion Officer at Intent & Action.  She is an Intuitive Coach, Community Builder, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.


More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com

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