The Wild & Beautiful That I Know

What I know

Boxes are best used for storage and moving

not ideas and people

Fear is best experienced in small doses

and reserved for the known

We are meant to dance on the head of a pin,

boldly leap across great chasms

and embrace the raging fire within

Life is to be lived without reservation

experienced with curious daring

and relished with unbridled courage

The world is a wild and beautiful place

This I know.

How many times does fear paralyze us? We fear what we do not know — the contact with an intimate stranger, sharing an idea at work, the forgiveness of an estranged friend.  Instead of living without reservation, we place ideas and people in boxes convinced that the ideas will not work or the person will never change.

The world is a wild and beautiful place where the seemingly impossible happens at least twice each minute. But, our eyes are screwed tightly shut. We cannot see the miracles unfolding in each moment. We fear what may happen instead of meeting life with curious daring. We miss opportunities to connect with another by saying I am hear (here).

I am hear (here)…what would you say? I am listening.

In that moment of connection, we dance on the head of the pin together. Faster and faster we spin gaining speed. Hand in hand we shoot across the chasm into the realm of compassionate living. We land not in a box but in the beauty of the wild where we live without reservation.

Loving, laughing, living we are the gusto of compassion,

Vanessa

Vanessa F. Hurst is Compassion Officer at Intent & Action.  She is an Intuitive Coach, Community Builder, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent &Action and A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com

Compassion & Grief

“How could you leave me?”

“I feel empty.”

“I am afraid at what lurks in the bottomless pit of sorrow.”

Those words or similar ones are echoes of the despair that accompanies grief. Instead of listening to the cries of grief, we run from here to there filling our self with activity. We do anything so that we do not acknowledge the grief that simmers inside of us. But, this grief does not go away.

No matter how much we try to ignore those feelings, the simmering soon becomes a rolling boil. And, much to our surprise, a volcanic eruption of grief bursts into our life. The resulting flow of lava burns the landscape of our being. Our suffering and woundedness intensifies.

Although touching that deep core of grief may seem frightening and overwhelming, we do not have to venture to the chamber of grief magma alone. Hand-in-hand with compassion, we can acknowledge and move through these feelings. Grief is not longer an adversary. It becomes first an intimate stranger and, then, beloved companion. Processing grief often requires a therapist, but a mindful practice that incorporates the 4nons helps to identify and release the emptiness while recognizing love.

Try this: find a quiet place…focus on your breath…don’t try to shift it…just notice your breath…be aware of how your grief is speaking through your breath…notice how your breath flows to places in your body…listen to your body’s cries of grief…listen without attaching to your reaction…

Do not cling to the grief…do not push it away…just be…it is easy to judge the grief as good or bad…this or that…don’t label…just be in the energy of your grief….do not defend your right to grieve…do not justify your need hang on to it…accept your grief for what it is…acknowledge your great loss…become aware of your thoughts toward grief…if you notice words of violence…hatred…anger…despair…allow them to drift away on your breath…be within the grief as an objective observer.

Return to your breath…feel the wisps of compassion that enter with every breath…allow the compassion to flow through you…feel it enter the cracks where grief hides…where grief festers…meet grief as an intimate stranger…someone bringing you a great gift…remembering the great love that you had…recognizing the loss…allow compassion to mingle with the gift…turn to the byproducts of the gift…the angst, the desolation, despair, anger…see them lift from you body…exhale them…

Feel the mantle of compassion surround you…rest within its embrace…feel your suffering evaporate…just be…

Grief is a companion for our journey. No matter how we try to shove it away, it remains until we acknowledge and embrace it. Learn the lessons and celebrate what we lost. With compassion we can befriend grief, learn from it, and heal our wounds.

Vanessa

Vanessa F. Hurst is Compassion Officer at Intent & Action.  She is an Intuitive Coach, Community Builder, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com

The Face Of Compassion

If you could draw the face of compassion, how would it look? Would it be warm and grateful? Sharp and needy? Something else? I discovered the face of compassion in the act of an intimate stranger on an early September morning.

Walking to my car, I found myself enjoying the cooler temperatures that predawn autumn morning. But, cooler temperatures also bring things that are not so enjoyable. Driving to Tai Chi in those early hours, I heard the dreaded ping and saw the low pressure tire icon appear on my dashboard. I knew that there was no time to fill the tires prior to teaching Tai Chi. I trusted that the time between the end of class and next meeting would be sufficient to remedy the problem. 

Immediately after class, I stopped at the closest gas station. Of course, someone was already using the air station. I began focusing on my breath while chanting the mantra, “time enough.” After the gentleman in the SUV left, a man on a bicycle filled his tires with air. 

“Finally, my turn,” I thought as I rolled my car to a stop. Instead of relinquishing the hose, the man with the bike began to fill my tires with air. 

“This air is too expensive to waste,” he told me as filled the first tire. (The price for five minutes of air was $1.50.) We worked together as I removed the caps, and he filled the tires. We finished in what seemed like record time. 

I ask, “Can I give you something for your help?”

He replied, “No, I was just glad to help.” I was humbled. He looked like someone who had not had an easy life. Someone who needed a helping hand himself.

So, I asked, “Do you hug?” And, for a brief moment worried that my words had overstepped some societal boundary. 

“Of course,” he said. 

And, he hugged me with one of those heartfelt hugs that say “Thank you for seeing me. I see you.” The world seemed a little less lonely.

“May you find many blessings in your day,” I said. 

With a hitch in his voice, he said, “I need that.” He hugged me tighter. 

We parted. I went to what I thought would be a difficult meeting. It was not, due to, I believe, the compassionate act of an intimate stranger.

I often talk about the intimate stranger. Someone we may never see again, but who touches our body, mind, spirit, and heart in loving, gentle, compassionate ways. I hope that I touched him as he touched me. My heart strings twined with those of his as we became part of the great weave of community. I recognized anew that we have many opportunities to walk in intimate connection. We have only to open our eyes and respond. 

Connie and Tom, I had one of those experience you have shared. And, it was life altering. I left that gas station parking lot knowing that I was not alone; that compassion flows when we need it. 

Twining with you and you with me,

Vanessa

Vanessa F. Hurst is Compassion Officer at Intent & Action.  She is an Intuitive Coach, Community Builder, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com

Compassion At The Source

Our divine spark, a piece of the extraordinary lies deep in the core of our being. At our conception, the winds of Ruah blow gently on this ember. With each successive puff is glows brighter, becomes more alive. Ruah, the great animator, gifts each of us with wisps of compassion. We wake to the knowing that were born with the ability to be compassionate presence. Sometimes we just forget.

The world is a hard place. It is tough not to lose sight of our open flame of compassion when we are being battered by the gale force winds of suffering. It is equally difficult to believe that those winds have not extinguished the flame. But, no matter how much that spark may appear to be diminished, we never totally lose the glow of compassion’s presence. It waits right where we left it — in the center of our being. This place of compassionate presence can be accessed through our breath.

Our breath is powerful. Through it we ground deeply in the present moment. Our breath guides us to compassion’s transponder. In this place we can hear the ping of compassion given and received. Through the breath we become alive to the soothing nature of this fiery source.
Andy Caponigo in The Miracle of the Breath writes about the “breath behind the breath.” The energy behind the breath is Ruah, the part of the sacred that travels with us in every moment. Every thought, word, and action we share is tinged with it.  On the winds of Ruah ride divine compassion, the originator of all compassion. Our compassion echoes in its fiery kiss. Each time we share compassion with our self and others, we strengthen our connection to this sacred force. 

Our compassion is not some magical affair nor is our connection to the sacred magical. It is what connects us to the extraordinary that exists in the mundane world. Through conscious breathing, we connect with the extraordinary. Try this:

Gentle your breathing…follow it as it flows in and out of your body…feel the rhythm of your breath as it connects with the air around you…notice your exchange…sharing a part of yourself…taking in particles of the air around you…look closely with the eye of your heart…see the twinkling of small iridescent flames of compassion…breath them in…watch as they flow through your being intuitively drawn to your spark of compassion…the twinkles draw closer and closer…feel their gentle caress…feel the puffs of Ruah…the fiery, etheric embrace of compassion surrounds you…your compassion flares as it reaches out to Ruah…recognize the kindred spirit…allow your mind to wander…to be drawn to the compassionate acts given…to embrace the compassionate acts received…to those acts you may not have named as compassionate…remember in gratitude…continue to breathe compassion as you return to your daily life…

The gift of compassion is not a special occurrence. The potential to receive compassion exists in every moment, with each breath. From birth to beyond compassion is our constant companion whether we are aware or not.

Vanessa is Compassion Officer at Intent & Action.  She is an Intuitive Coach, Community Builder, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.
More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com