Listening: Compassion In Action

Across the globe people are starving.  This is not a physical starvation.  It is the starvation of attention — a yearning for someone to really listen to what they are saying.  Please don’t misunderstand me…they are not some group of anonymous people with vague faces.  We are all the “they.”  In some respect, we all have this deep yearning to be heard and responded to.

I have often said, and heard, “I will be a better listening.”  Sounds easy this listening, doesn’t it?  But, we live in a world of impersonal communication: spontaneous texting, social media, and email.  Our interactions become reactions.  In a world where we quickly formulate our interjections, listening is not so easy.  We may only listen after we reacted and wish our reaction had been a response.  Listening may be one of the most difficult activities.

We can learn to listen better.  In fact, a number of tools and programs exist for us to learn and practice our listening skills.  One most powerful tool is the Pause.  With the Pause we stop our rush to reply, no longer focus on what we need to say while the other is speaking, and turn our total attention to what the other is saying both verbally and nonverbally.  The Pause anchors us into the moment.

Have you ever felt 100% of another’s focus on you?  It can feel like a disconcertingly warm embrace — a wordless encouragement for you to speak from your heart.  It is a way of another to give you permission to speak your truth is surprising ways.  When another listens, our words may give voice to what we never consciously realized before. 

As a listener, our body is relaxed.  We assume a wide open stance as our heart connects with the heart of another.  Through intentionally listening, we embrace the other with our heart, mind, body, and spirit.  Without judgment, we create a space in which the need to defend is minimized.  A dialogue of intentional listening and compassionately responding occurs in this safe, sacred space. 

How do we assume an intentional listening stance?  Try this before a conversation:

• Take a couple of breaths to calm and center your self
• Next, using all your senses, imagine what compassion is
• Breathe in compassion until your are filled with compassion’s presence
• Then, using all your senses, imagine what trust is
• Breathe in trust until it enters all parts of your being
• Breathe in your intent to understand the other

As the person begins to speak:

• Breathe out compassion in ways that connect your heart to theirs
• Breathe out trust and further connect your hearts
• Breathe out your desire to understand
• Allow your breath to create a bubble surrounding the two of you

Within this bubble of intentional listening and compassion response, gently listen.  Allow your words to be inspired.  The Pause may occur naturally as silence between the comments of your partner and your response.

At the end of the conversation, slowly inhale your energy leaving the residue of compassion in your wake.  How was that conversation different?

Changing the world, one compassionate interaction at a time.

Vanessa is an Intuitive, Community Builder, and Compassionista, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action

More from Vanessa & Community Building: www.intentandaction.com