Friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, even our furry
friends are part of our intentional communities. Each community is formed with a specific
purpose. We may have certain expectations or be together to celebrate the joy
of being in relationship.
Every so often, when I least expect it, an unintentional
community forms around me. In those
moments the intimate stranger enters deeply into my life. No longer on parallel tracks, we meet for
brief, remarkable moments. This
spontaneous connection is based on a mutuality.
A couple of weeks ago I arrived at my son’s Senior Award
Ceremony. I had prepared to celebrate
this rite of passage alone and with bittersweet tears. I listened to the people in the crowd around
me chatter while being mindful of my solitude.
A woman came to the end of the row in which I was sitting,
She asked, “Is this seat taken?”
I invited her to share the space.
She hesitantly said, “My daughter wanted to sit with
friends, so I am alone.”
Out of my mouth came, “No, you are not. You are with me.”
With those simple words: ice broken, unintentional community
formed. We discovered her daughter knew
my son. As I uttered my son’s name, a
woman in the row in front of me turned around.
We knew one another. Another link
in the circle of unintentional community was forged. Within this unintentional community the
evening passed not bittersweet but in joyous connection with others. The three of us celebrated the accomplishments
of our children together not separate. And, I was reminded of Thomas Merton’s
belief that we could live in a crowd or we could live in community.
Living with curious daring, reaching out to others, is
getting easier for me. I often climb out
on a limb to get a better view of the land.
And, when I connect with others on this no longer-so-scary place, I feel
the grace of connectedness. The spirit of
each person reaches deeply into my heart and the love and compassion within my
heart twines with theirs.
May you enjoy the grace of unintentional community in the most
unexpected moments of your life.
Vanessa
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