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| Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net |
We may find our switch flipped, our button pushed, our
reaction triggered. While the person or
situation who served as the catalyst is not responsible for our reactions they
provide the material from which our reaction or response grows.
As the button is pushed, the ire and angst begin to
rise. Before the top is blown off and
the inevitable reaction occurs, what can we do? First, recognize that you are
building to reaction. Second, acknowledge you have a choice to respond or
react. Engage your objector observer by stepping
back into the silence of your quiet mind. In your quiet mind, notice
·
The cadence and tenor of your breath…don’t try
to shift it. Just notice it.
·
How the angst is manifesting in your body
(tightening of your chest, unsettled feeling in your stomach, pressure building
in your head….).
·
The thoughts, beliefs, and judgments running
amok in your mind.
Embrace your objector observer. Instead of allowing the trigger to drive your
next words and actions, just notice the catalyst. As an objector observer does not cling to the
evolving feelings, do not lash out violently, or try to defend your
position. When the feelings threaten to
overwhelm, let them wash over you.
Consciously let go…do not cling to any aspect of the emotion.
The life cycle of an emotion is 90-seconds. The emotion is triggered, peaks, and
dissipates in this short span. For most of us, the duration of an emotion is
much longer. We feed our positive
emotions like hope and love and they continue throughout our lifetime bringing
us balance and joy. The more
angst-driven emotions like anger, fear, and despair, we feed as well. They place detrimental stress on our body,
mind, spirit, and heart. When we
consciously ride the 90-second wave of emotion and not feed it, the anger or
fear will dissipate and the damage minimized.
Perhaps residue of the emotion remains, but its shadow is a faint blimp
on our spirit’s radar.
When the emotion threatens to morph into a reaction,
practice being an objector observer for 90-seconds. Notice what happens.
Practice using memories of reaction-producing situations when you are
alone. It is easier to engage in a group
if you are prepared and comfortable with the process.
During the upcoming weeks (and beyond) use this 90-second
break while:
·
Enjoying a family gathering
·
Waiting in a busy checkout line
·
Talking to a representative at a call center
·
Getting together with friends
Practice any time, any place emotions are running high and
you need to decompress and re-align your body, mind, spirit, and heart. In the practicing you learn what triggers you
and how to shift reactions into responses.
Enjoy the gift of response!
Vanessa Hurst
www.intentandaction.com
www.healingwillow.com
