Listening with your Body

I cannot help but be aware of how uncertain the world is. & how my imperfections are flaring. But, then I realize that imperfections will always be a part of me. I believe that it is part of our life mission to prune some of the most uneven imperfections from our garden. In doing so, we are able to adopt a more nonviolent approach to life. This pruning is not easy. In fact during this chaotic time we find ourselves in, it is very difficult. Difficult but not impossible. 

We begin the process by understanding how our imperfections are integral to who we are and how we interact with the world. Those cuttings of imperfection have a purpose. They are the compost used to grow ourself into the person rooted in our soul. Remember: nothing is our spiritual life is without use. 

The first video in this series led you through the process of listening to imperfections — ours and others. That is just the beginning of the journey and a step that I encourage you to repeat over and over again. The more your understand your imperfections, the greater the chance that you will identify what is triggering you and learn to prevent your reaction switch from flipping. As you become more in tune with your imperfections and prune those that are getting in your way, you begin to create a more nonviolent stance. You show up in ways that don’t diminish who you are while forging a path of compassionate presence.

A teacher of mine, Thomas Merton, reminds us that “mistakes are part of life…it is by making mistakes that we gain experiences…the repeated experience has a positive value.” Imperfections are only negatives when we allow them to be. They are tools for learning. They are our teachers and fellow sojourners on our life journey. We have only to listen.

How do we become aware of what our imperfections are telling us? Through full body listening. This way of attending is being aware of all of your senses while noticing how they are speaking through your body, mind, and emotions. Noticing how those sensations are impacting your spirit. 

Let’s practice: Get comfortable. Move into your core. Find a rhythm within your silence. In this moment,  acknowledge the angst.  Let it go as best you can. Feel your peace well up. Rest in your stillness.

• Remember a situation this was triggering for you. Allow the memory to wash over you. Feel what you feel without judgment, shame, or blame. 
• Notice how your body responded to it. 
• What was going on in your mind? Or, what was your self talk?
• Connect to your emotions. What were you feeling? 

Use your answers to create a picture of how you responded and reacted to the situation. Remember, there is no shame or blame. This exercise is a way of understanding exactly what happened. The goal is to increase your awareness of the triggers until you are able to stop the trigger from flipping.  

Are you on the ultimate quest — living into a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred in ways that make a difference in their world. I am available for spiritual companioning. Schedule a get-to-know-me chat. Fill out this form.

Van(essa) F. Hurst is an intuitive, a mystic, and a contemplative. As a spiritual director she journeys with seekers on the ultimate quest — living into a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred in ways that make a difference in their world. She is the author of five books and believes that through our lived experiences, we become the people we are meant to be. Questions? Reach out!

Living in an Uncertain World Imperfectly

In 2018, I wrote the book, “Imperfect in an Uncertain World.” If you do not remember, there was a lot of uncertainty and fear raging across the globe and in the US. Families and communities fractured. This book was an attempt to address some real internal repercussions of what was occurring externally. To put it another way: “Why were we feeling so much personal discomfort and dissonance?” 

It's now 2025 — the way of life in which I was raised is no longer. Looking back I can see where the US culture had these alt right tendencies for much of my 60+ years, but I was either unaware or had just bought into the illusions. By the time I woke up — about 25 years ago — we were thigh high in the muck. 

Like many of you, I am discouraged. Somedays I feel really impotent. How can I be the change that Gandhi calls us to be? That is where my book, “Imperfect in an Uncertain World” comes in. I am going to offer a series of blogs and videos with activities that encourage us (you and me) to dig into who we are. To tether to our core. To act from that tether. 

I don’t have many answers, but I’ve got a slew of questions and plenty of suggestions. I am inviting you to start at the core, your core. How can each of us mine the gold and the shadow and weave them together in ways that has us showing up authentically? 

We are imperfect. The world is uncertain. While we cannot change life’s uncertainty, we can shift how we view that uncertainty and how we show up in the midst of the turmoil. We can see our imperfections not as bad but, once befriended, as the basis of our superpower. Our imperfections power our abilities to act effectively in a chaotic world.

Each of us is being called to a paradigm shift — to radically change how we show up in this world. That shift will make us more authentic, more vulnerable, more humble, and much more durable. 

So, let’s begin.

Get comfortable. Move into your core. Find a rhythm within your silence. In this moment,  acknowledge the angst.  Let it go as best you can. Feel your peace well up. Rest in your stillness.

Deep in your core is an imperfection wanting to be heard. Invite your imperfection to make itself known. 

Step1: Identify this imperfection that is calling to you. Spend sometime fleshing it out. Bring it to life. 

• Recall how this character trait/attitude/ way of showing up negatively impacted you. 
• How is this imperfection causing suffering? Allow your self to feel all of the emotions around this. Remember: this is about you. You need not share this with anyone other than you. 
• Identify the challenge in the imperfection. (If you are not quite sure, that is okay for now. What is important is that you can name the imperfection.
• What have you learned from this time of reflection? 

I find it helpful to write this down. It allows me to better understand. Sometimes writing will trigger other knowings, epiphanies for me.. 

Step2:  Name an imperfection in another. It’s often easier to see the issues with another than with our self. 

• What does the imperfection trigger in you?
• How did you react when you were triggered?
• What did you tell yourself about the other person? The situation? 
• Identify your challenge in the imperfection. Or, how are you being called to be within the experience?

Step3: Using the experience in Step2, name the imperfection that is being triggered in you. Use the questions in step1 to better understand how your imperfection is part of the schism. In this, come up with one way that you can change. Not the other person, not the situation — you are changing you.

These steps are a practice of better understanding you. You can practice all three steps together; you can practice step1 by itself, you can practice step2 and step3 together. Do not practice step2 by itself. It will only add to triggering your own imperfections and widening the schism.

This is the foundational practice. I will offer other practices that will help you to strengthen the foundation from which all of your thoughts and actions and words are triggered. 

Are you on the ultimate quest — living into a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred in ways that make a difference in their world. I am available for spiritual companioning. Schedule a get-to-know-me chat. 

Van(essa) F. Hurst is an intuitive, a mystic, and a contemplative. As a spiritual director she journeys with seekers on the ultimate quest — living into a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred in ways that make a difference in their world. She is the author of five books and believes that through our lived experiences, we become the people we are meant to be.

 

You Are Here: Let’s Begin

We knew it was coming. Can’t say that I am shocked or even surprised by what is unfolding. What does surprise me — in a simply wonderful way — is the response of so many. The responses are about accountability and solid facts. If you are not one of them, that is okay. While we are all “here,” we are responding to that here in a different way. What’s important is that we show up where we are and work from there.

So, you are here. Now what? Let’s start with the what-not-to-dos: Don’t deny, minimize, or stuff what you are feeling. That leads to a potential pressure cooker explosion. The emotions come out sideways. We do or say things that we regret later.

I don’t know about you, but creating a mess that I need to clean up is not on my list of preferred things to do. Instead of denying, minimizing, or stuffing, own what you are feeling, dive deep into the messiness, allow yourself to feel it. Simply: name it. Don’t blame it. Don’t shame it. 

Honestly be with how you are. That is the first step.

Let’s practice: allow some of those tumultuous thoughts and feeling to rise to your being, breathe in, breath out, connect to your core. Don’t be concerned about all the uncertainty that is rising. Focus on the calm that emanates from your core. As you breathe, you might go for a walk (sometimes my walks help the angst leach out of my body). Or, you might sit in the quiet. Do something that will take you out of the sensory overload and into a place where you reconnect to you. 

As feelings surface, surrender into them. This is not an act of desperate giving up. It is a practice of curious exploration. As you surrender you no longer cling to the emotions, but flow through them as witness. Notice any body sensations, what your mind is saying, what emotions are lurking underneath the initial feeling. Your curious exploration is a time of noticing — nothing more, nothing less. 

Don’t despair if this doesn’t “work” the first time. If you are too tangled in the emotion. You may need to do this over and over again until you better understand the emotion and it lifts out of your being. 

What’s next? After neutralizing the feeling — or at least diminishing its impact — ask yourself one thing that you can do to make a difference. This one thing may not be an external. If fact, it may be an act of self care. In caring for yourself, you begin to heal the world. 

If you cannot surface anything, talk to a friend or friends. This is not a complaining session, but a time of mutual support and creative brainstorming. Together name something that you can do to make a difference. You may find that as you practice this letting go, you discover the courage to edge further and further toward your boundary and beyond until you are doing things that make a difference to not only you but to the world. 

Van(essa) F. Hurst is an intuitive, a mystic, and a contemplative. As a spiritual director she journeys with seekers on the ultimate quest — living into a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred in ways that make a difference in their world. She is the author of five books and believes that through our lived experiences, we become the people we are meant to be. 

Reach out to me:  hurst.vanessa@gmail.com  vanessafhurst.com 

A New Year’s Blessing

2024 will soon be a wispy memory. 2025 is here! It will be a year filled with transformational energy and uncertainty. One things is certain was we move into the New Year: we have nothing if we do not have each other.  Community and relationship is so important now. So, hand-in-hand, let’s dive into the new!

As I write this, I remember being younger…you know that time when using paper money and coins was a thing? I would be so excited to get that first new shiny penny each year. A new penny symbolized bright hope for me. I’ve long since transitioned to Apple Pay, so most pennies that I find are littered on the ground and are often battered and grungy. I’ve discovered that I don’t need those bright shiny pennies for hope any more. There is  magic and hope in those battered pennies — the stories it could tell!

Where is my hope this year? I am beginning my 10th month of community ministry certification and a year of building a spiritual direction practice. What have I learned in 2024? To channel Margaret Wheatley as she reminds us that “relationship is all there is.” I have been living into that more and more as I explore this leg of my journey and help others explore theirs.

Life is scary and uncertain. Lots to grieve; lots to find joy in. No matter where we find our self, this year, we are called to connect, to enjoy one another, to stretch outside our limited boundaries, to reach out without any expectations. A year of opportunities:  a chance encounter with an intimate strange. A fleeting connection that  changes you. Engaging and deepening a relationship. Connecting with nature.  All of these connections, and more, are reminders that we are not alone — that we are in this together. 

I have never been so ready to begin a new year. To let the year 2024 slip into my past. To gather what I have learned into my rucksack and enter 2025 poised to find ways to make a difference. I want to show up and support those in my circle. To widen my circle. To take risks and appreciate the possibilities. I hope that you are poised to do the same.  

Thank you for being in my circle — for allowing me to journey with you, for challenging me to step into the margins and leave the constraints of boundaries behind, for being part of my courageous journey into the new. 

#inthistogether, van(essa)

Van(essa) F. Hurst is an intuitive, a mystic, and a contemplative. As a spiritual director she journeys with seekers on the ultimate quest — living into a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred in ways that make a difference in their world. She is the author of five books and believes that through our lived experiences, we become the people we are meant to be. 

Reach out to me: hurst.vanessa@gmail.com  vanessafhurst.com

Moving Through How Could This Be

 

The shell shock has lessened. Maybe you are moving through “how could this be” into “this is real.” This movement through is not into complacency, but in a gotta-roll-up-my-sleeves-and-get-to-work kind of way. Now is not the time for standing still or running away. Now is the time to step up and take a stand. 

What’s next? How do we step up? How do we take that stand? Start small — reach out to friends and family. Not as an act of commiseration, but as a way of really connecting to one another. This is a time to listen and be heard. To defuse some of the angst and recognize that we are all in this together. To engage in what I call contemplative conversation. Although it is a simple concept, it does take a bit to master.

When chatting with someone, really listen to them with the whole of your being. Relax your body into the conversation. Be aware of what the person is sharing while being aware of how that sharing is impacting your mind, emotions, and body. To engage in full body listen is to be fully present. And, that is hard! 

When questions or judgments pop into your mind, gently set them aside. Realize that premature questions or judgments just get in the way of the flow of the sharing and your understanding of what the other is sharing of their experience. 

When there is a pause in the conversation, and there will be; take a moment to gather your thoughts. Allow your comments and questions to rise to the surface. Let your inner wisdom, your intuition, guide you in your response. Share your understanding, your experience. Ask questions. Engage on a deeper level. 

What have I discovered when I converse contemplatively? Instead of reacting to what is being said or leading the conversation in “my” direction or filling the silence with platitudes, something magical happens. We come to a greater understanding of each other and the topic of our discourse.  Perhaps even find a glimmer of light that brings us step by step down this path of new.

The shell shock is receding for all of us.. I don’t have all of the answers; neither do you. What we do have is each other. Through our contemplative conversations we can begin to heal and discover a way forward by connecting individual wisdom to each other and tapping into the wealth of the collective wisdom. 

Van(essa) F. Hurst is an intuitive, a mystic, and a contemplative. As a spiritual director she journeys with seekers on the ultimate quest — a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred. She is the author of five books and believes that through our lived experiences, we become the people we are meant to be.  Reach out to Van for spiritual director or intuitive mentoring. 

Stop Lying to Yourself: Grieve the Loss

 Click on this link, it you'd rather watch the blog. 

Is your internal voice whispering, “It’s not as bad as it seems. Everything is going to be okay. There is nothing that I can do anyway.”  These are the lies we tell ourself. 

I’ve had peoples tell me that they aren’t going to be angry anymore. I’ve spoken with people who are consumed by their anger. Head in the sand or burning it down will resolve nothing. How do we walk the middle ground without being stuck in complacency?

Let’s acknowledge that we are in a space of individual and collective grief. We are tired, fatigued, exhausted. Here are some reasons. Since 2016, we have had three inflection points. The election of Donald Trump in 2016, the Covid epidemic beginning in 2019, and the re-election of Donald Trump in 2024. There’s a lot that percolated during those eight years. I have to tell you, if you are wishing for a return to the time before all this mayhem, it isn’t going to happen.

The most important thing you can do is to stop believing the lies. The first step to living in this new world, is to stop lying to yourself. It is bad; everything might not be okay; there is something you can do. If telling yourself the truth scares you…well, if you are scared, it means that you are aware. The first step to taking action is self awareness.

To be aware is to practice self-care. Take a step back into yourself. Ignite that divine ember within you. See the sparks flare up into your being. They illuminate those parts of you that are paralyzed by your fear.  A huge part of self care is learning what is triggering you.

What can we do? Our self care begins by grieving. Let’s go through Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief. Realize the five stages are not linear; they happen in a spiral. You might have to go through them over and over again. Here are the five stages and how I have gone through them.

• We deny (I refused to watch the news on Wednesday morning. If I didn’t hear or see it, is wasn’t true, right?)
• We get angry (I unfriended so many people on Facebook and raged about those people who had the audacity to vote in alignment with their moral code which was not my moral code.)
• We bargain (I haven’t been here…yet)
• We get depressed (The world can be a dark place of despair. We need not be stuck in it. I remind myself of this.)
• We accept (Okay, we are in a lousy place. How can I live into my values and stand in my power?)

I have not yet gone through these stages in a way that brings resolution. I know that I need to use the power of my emotions to bring me through my grief. For to use the force of emotions is to break this delicate process of grief. To use the power of my emotions is to grieve unapologetically, and that is an act of self care. So in these moments, grieve. 

Let go of what could have been. Don’t isolate. Spend time with your community. We’ve got a lot of work to shape what is. 

Van(essa) F. Hurst is an intuitive, a mystic, and a contemplative. As a spiritual director she journeys with seekers on the ultimate quest — a stronger, more durable relationship with their sacred. She is the author of five books and believes that through our lived experiences, we become the people we are meant to be.  Reach out to her for spiritual direction.  or hurst.vanessa@gmail.com