The Crescendo of Compassion’s Community

Over the past two week — give or take — an extraordinarily beautiful chant has begun to circle the globe. Although the origin of the notes are humble, the crescendo has risen above the mundane and echoes transformation throughout the world. Even those who were jolted awake by that predawn call to action, have joined in the song of community. We are remembering the older unity — we are recognizing that we are all one.

This song circles the globe, permeates its inhabits, and sings with the voice of compassion. This harmony recognizes that suffering is not something that another is responsible for or deserves because of their choices. Suffering is recognized as a natural part of the human condition and as a way to meet challenges and learn life lessons. This compassion song sings us a lullaby not of sleep but of action awakened — it is our right, our responsibility to act in ways that alleviate our suffering and the suffering of others. These actions are the glue of our unity.

Our awakening is not without pain or consequences. In fact, we have been jarred awake with a profound call to action. Jolted from complacency, we no longer ask why. The “why” is inconsequential. Our questions are of how and where. Although we may wish we had responded differently in the past, our actions in the present are what is important. We shape the future with action in the moment. Let’s shape the present with compassion.

What does this mean? Find common ground instead of divisiveness when possible. Learn to let go of those who want to argue. Gravitate to those who work for peace and compassion. Welcome all to the table. And, dialogue with those present. Seek to understand when you cannot agree. Share compassion in big and small ways. Remember that all acts of compassion create a resonance of transformation. 

Recognize that we do not know where our compassionate act ends. It is not necessary to know how many lives are changed or who is changed. We seek not glory for our actions; we seek only to be compassionate change agents. We live curiously, daringly, and courageously in a world of growing uncertainty and unknowning. 

What can you do to form a community of compassion?

• Talk to someone as you wait for you coffee
• Help another put their groceries on the conveyor belt
• Smile at the intimate stranger you pass on the street
• Listen to the suffering of a loved one
• Attend rallies, meetings, marches — however you are called to get involved
• Educate yourself on the evolution of suffering
• Become part of the dynamic, flexible response of compassion
• Practice self compassion daily

We are the change community because we are compassion’s community. And, compassion demands that we see with our eyes and listen with our ears so that we can respond with our heart.

There is a beautiful, wild, ferociously gentle song echoing through the land. Lend your words and actions to its harmony. Be compassion. 

Vanessa

Vanessa F. Hurst is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who interweaves her inner wisdom in all she touches. Contact Vanessa

Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com

Moving Along

Moving right along in search of good times and good news, begins an old Muppet song. The promise of good times and good news is, in certain moments, not enough to have us letting go of those things that just aren’t working. We have this strangle hold on the past convinced that our tight grip will somehow breath life into our shattered hopes and dreams. So sure that that life is the one we should live, we are unable to move along into more life giving places. Eyes focused on the not possible future, we miss the good times that fuel the good news.

How do we loosen our grip and gracefully let go so that we can move along? It begins with acknowledgement of our grief and suffering. It continues with being courageous enough to name our fears and be curiously daring to try yet again. Letting go and moving along means catching the prevailing wind and riding its currents to a place of realizable possibility.

It is almost assured that the process of letting go begins with the identification of the suffering attached to unrealized hopes and dreams. Befriending this suffering brings us to a greater acceptance of what is not working in our lives. When we enter into relationship with suffering, we move beyond our rational mind in order to understand the roots of our suffering and its emotional ramifications. By befriending suffering we learn the lesson it brings and transform its challenge into understanding. Through this relationship with suffering we become strong enough to let go and move along. 

Connect to suffering

focus on your breath…don’t shift your breathing…move in the rhythm of your breath…name your suffering…where do you hold your suffering in your physical body…how does it feel? (use your senses to describe it)…what does your internal monologue say about this suffering (name your judgments/assumptions)…when you are ready:

Begin to breath in compassion…visualize it flowing through your body to the point of suffering…allow it to surround suffering…feel it wash over the suffering as it erodes the hold suffering has on you…even if you are unable to let go of suffering in the moment, affirm your desire to let it go…when you are ready: breath out the suffering

Visualize what you are moving along to…own that image in your minds eye…feel what it feels like…then breath that feeling throughout your body.

Acknowledging suffering and beginning the process of alleviating and learning from it are the first steps in moving along. Dreaming a big dream energizes our curious daring and courage so that we are able to take those initial steps into good times and good news as we live within the possibility of being in the moment. 

Moving Right Along,

Vanessa

Vanessa F. Hurst is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who interweaves her inner wisdom in all she touches. Contact Vanessa

Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com

hope: i. do. not. know

vanessa f. hurst

Hope. A funny four letter word that packs a punch greater than almost anything but love. Hope can lift you to the heights of trusting belief when you are skimming the bottoms of despair. Hope gets us up in the morning, sees us through our day, and kisses us to sleep at night.  

Through out our day and into the next and the next, hope whispers, “It will be okay. I do not know how, but all will be well.” 

What happens when hope is gone? How do we jumpstart the optimism? How do we find a way to believe that we will pass through the tumult and find a world righted on the other side?

i. do. not. know.

Yet, maybe, I do. When hope is barely a flicker, when i cannot feel its warmth or see its glimmer, silence beckons me to be in its presence. I don’t have to do anything but rest in the quiet of my mind. If I can step back into the silence, I clearly understand how to recharge hope…how to take one step and then another and another as I move past the chasm of hopeless and stand fully into the presence of hope.

For within the silence, that tiny whisper of inner wisdom nudges me. Perhaps it encourages me to walk or do something else to boost my endorphins. I might spend time with a friend or engage a stranger in a seemingly meaningless yet compassionate chatter. Or, maybe I simply rest in my despair and befriend it as I am objective, nonjudgmental, non-defensive, and peace filled. 

When these do not boost me into a place of hope, well, on those days, I tell myself it is really okay not to have hope — I name what I am without, don’t stress over the lack, and just am. This very act of compassion often opens my heart to hope.

Hope — that funny little four letter word that comes with so many expectations and dreams and desires. When we have it, all is right in our world. When it is lost, an illusion filled reality crashes down upon us. In those moments, we need to act upon the words of Thomas Merton, “It would be good to open our eyes and see,” to navigate around the dark corners and dead ends that are filled with despair. We need to be like Tagore’s faith-filled bird singing because he knows the dawn is coming even if it is still dark. 

I say to myself, “Maybe I can emulate that bird. Maybe I can open the eyes of my full body. Maybe then I will recognize hope is present in each wondrous thing, in each beauty filled moment. Maybe.” 

Being a little bird in the dark with her eyes open, because, really, what do I or you have to lose? 

Vanessa F. Hurst is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who interweaves her inner wisdom in all she touches. 

Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com

Holding On, Letting Go: Relationship

vanessa f. hurst

“She has been my best friend since first grade.”

“We are celebrating 50 years of marriage.”

“I have worked for this organization for 10 years.”

Some relationships just work. There is an ease to the way that they connect. They withstand the growing pains, personal changes, and tests inherent in the relationship. The partners are able to move within the flow of change. Working together they create a beautiful grain within their relationship. Each plank fits seamlessly tongue to groove.

But, what happen when the joints of a relationship do not smoothly fit together? At times, our words and actions can sand the connections and retrofit them. Other times the connections are warped and the grain so uneven that there is no way to connect in the same way.

No matter how much we try, our authentic self never seems to fit in that relationship. If we do not allow the relationship to evolve, it may implode and the flying splinters lodge deeply into our hearts. If we do not remove the splinters, the wounds fester and our relationship drifts until the final implosion that severs our connection.

I have often been accused of staying in relationships helplessly looking all as the shrapnel lodges into my heart and the heart of my partners. That part of me that wants to get it right even if there is not a way to stay in the static relationships convinces me that the illusion I am living has the potential of sustainability. I fail to realize that as an illusion it is not grounded in reality.

Lately I have shifted my relationship paradigm:  relationships aren’t win or lose, success or failure.  Learning that I haven’t failed but can learn how not to be in relationship is an ongoing lesson for me. Each connection is a dynamic, compassion filled opportunity to transform in this laboratory called life. When I look at my relationships as opportunities to learn, my world shifts. Maybe I need to learn to love freer or not take another’s behavior so personally. Maybe I need to realize that I am okay as I am and that my authentic self really is enough. Each relationship has become an invitation to my transformation and to partner with the other in theirs.

When I shed those spots of doubt-inducing illusion, I pause to reflect. I ask myself, “What do I need in the relationship?” And, I answer honestly. Then, I intentionally listen to the other to figure out what they need. Finally, I ask myself, “What I am able to give and what I am willing to receive?”

After answering these questions comes the difficult part. I need to decide how to shift in the relationship. Maybe that life long friendship becomes an acquaintance-ship. Or, maybe I find another job. Perhaps, I search for a new social group. Or, I decide to spend time on my most important relationship — the one with myself. There are no right or wrong answers. There are only the answers we are feeling in the moment to be our truth.

We gather this information and make these decisions in dialogue with the other. In loving gentle ways we listen. We are both great people who are living loving, compassion filled lives. Sometimes we just get stuck in the lesson we are learning.

Accepting that life isn’t static provides the nudge for us to transform. Because the end result of this discernment is an alleviation of suffering and a relationship shift to either a deeper connection or a letting go.  Our goal is to live in a world of compassion without angst or harm.

Easy? No. Necessary? Yes. Through it all we love and live while growing our constellation of connections.

Vanessa

Vanessa F. Hurst is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who interweaves her inner wisdom in all she touches. Contact Vanessa

Her books are A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships and EngagingCompassion Through Intent & Action.

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com

2017: The Year of 4C

 2017: the year of 4C — compassion, community, courage, and curious daring. At first I was calling it C4, but my intent if for a year of transformation not explosion! When we weave these four together in our intent, our actions create a resilient cord that connects us to our self and others in the here and now.

Compassion resides in our breath. With each mindful inhale, we recognize opportunities to share compassion. This sharing is a result of being aware of what is happening in both our inner and outer worlds. First, we focus on compassion to self as we ask,

“What about myself have I been particularly critical about?” Name it.

“How does this lead to my suffering” Own it.

“What is one simple thing I can do to alleviate my personal suffering?” Do it.

With each self-directed act of compassion, our ember glows brighter as our suffering is released. This light shines inward allowing us to continue to practice self compassion and outward illuminating suffering in the world. As suffering is illuminated, ask yourself,

“What action can I take to alleviate suffering in the world?” Do it.

With each outwardly focused compassionate act, we propel into relationship. These connections may last a lifetime or be minutes long connections. Most are somewhere in between. When we connect through compassionate intent, the stars in our constellation of connections twinkle brightly. The bonds of community grow and strengthen. We more clearly see the members of our tribe and celebrate each person’s presence while recognizing community is not a closed circuit. It evolves and expands with each compassionate action.

Throughout this year of 4C seek out people to invite into connection. Notice how your community and your sharing of compassion evolve.

Reaching out to others and forming community, requires courage. Fear may trigger self judgment in moments prior to our attempts to share compassion. We may fear the reaction of another and question our act of compassion. Courage is the result of acknowledging this fear but continuing to engage others despite it. With courage, we step beyond the boundaries of our fear and venture into uncertainty.

In this journey into the uncertain, courage walks with its faithful companion, curious daring. Through curious daring we expand the wings of courage. Taking flight with courage, we explore the unknown and ride on the thermals of our dreams. Although we may deem something impossible, curious daring says, “why not?” And, courage responds, “Let’s go!” In each act of courage and curious daring, we become the guiding light of compassion for our self and others.

This is the year of 4C. In every moment, vow to be alert to suffering. Each compassionate act draws us deeper into community. We recognize and celebrate the courage and curious daring that impels us into action. We navigate this wild and wonderful, sometimes scary, journey of compassionate connection not by our self, but hand-in-hand with the many people we hold in our hearts.

Vanessa F. Hurst is a Mindful Coach, Compassion Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Author who interweaves her inner wisdom in all she touches. Contact Vanessa

Her books are A Constellation of Connections: ContemplativeRelationships and Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action.

More from Vanessa: www.intentandaction.com