The Perfect Storm

We find our selves in a perfect storm of fatigue.  As individuals, within communities, across nations, and throughout the globe, we are experiencing a bombardment of clashing emotions, ideas, philosophies, and events.  With each shock wave, our energy is sucked out.  We are left fatigued.  Collectively and individually we are at a loss at how to fill the vacuum that remains. 

We do fill our self with events like Muhammad Ali week in Louisville, Kentucky.  This celebration of the peace philosophy of Ali offered the opportunity to be immersed in joy, compassion, and serenity.  We also fill this space with the compassionate responses to tragedy.  Helping those impacted by natural disasters as well as supporting all those impacted by horrific events perpetrated by humans soothes our ruffled souls.  Those actions give us much needed respite and an energetic boost.  

Do you ever get tired?  Are you ever filled with fatigue and uncertain how to move forward?  The honest answer for all of us is probably “yes.”  But, there is a way to minimize the fatigue that comes from the constant bombardment of anger and misunderstanding.  Resting in the silence and finding the pathway back to our quiet mind fills us up.  Simply put, we connect to the ground of our being through mindful or contemplative practice.

These practices are used to rest and recharge.  Contemplative practices simply focus our attention in the moment.  We notice what is causing tumult and what is encouraging peace. Weaving formal, informal, and spontaneous practice throughout our day diminishes opportunities for fatigue to take hold.  During these focused times, we are not ruminating on the past or leaping into the future.  We are present to the potential of being the spark that ignites compassion in the self, others, and the world. 

Formal practice occurs at designated times throughout our day.  Perhaps we meditate each morning, spend time writing in a journal during the day, or go for a walk in the evening.  The list of formal contemplative practices is limited only by our creativity.  These times of formal practice create anchors of awareness in our day.

Informal practice happens at any point in the day where we need to stop for a brief moment and realign our self with the present moment.  These practices include focusing on the rhythm of our breath, a brief walk, and identifying three things for which we are grateful.  These practice moments just happen when we listen to our internal voice that says “time to stop and recharge.”  Both informal and spontaneous practices occur in the spans between the anchors.

Spontaneous practice happens in the moment without conscious thought.  It is often a response to someone or something external.  So, we may open a door, compliment someone, or feel the joy and happiness that drifts in our world just waiting to be recognized.  This is the spontaneous recognition of the extraordinary and our response to it — we practice  without conscious thought.  We reap the benefits both consciously and unconsciously.

Theses moments of formal, informal, and spontaneous contemplative practice fill the void caused by fatigue.  Through them we weather times of depletion.  How can we create patterns of practice that lift us from fatigue and into compassionate response? 

Try this:  Take a post-it note and write three words on it — formal, informal, spontaneous.  Carry it with you or place it in a prominent place in your home.  Then for seven days notice when you are engaging in each of these.  After the end of the seven days, notice how you are feeling.

Your answer to “Do you ever get tired?” may shift from “yes,” to “not so much,” to “caught it before it became fatigue.”

Filling the void through spanning the anchors, Vanessa

Vanessa is an Intuitive, Community Builder, and Compassionista, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action

More from Vanessa & Community Building: www.intentandaction.com

What Is This Thing Compassion?

Ask 12 people for a definition of compassion, and you may likely get at least 13 different answers.  Ask the same 12 people what compassion is not, and the answers received will potentially negate many of the responses from the first list.  Each of us lives in our own carefully constructed realities that may be more black and white than we are willing to accept.  Within this polarization lies our views on compassion. 

The definition of compassion is simply a deep feeling of sorrow or sadness for another accompanied by the desire to alleviate suffering.  As individuals, we may respond to this definition by choosing a variety of ways to share compassion in our lives.  Our responses may be similar to the compassionate action of others or they may be unique to us.  Neither is more or less compassion. 

We may also choose to set our intent to be a compassionate presence to our self, others, and the world on our life journey.  Those who have taken a vow to alleviate suffering are called, in the Buddhist tradition, bodhisattvas.  Those who choose to accept the path of the bodhisattva do not have hard and fast rules on how they must express compassion.  They are the presence of compassion, at times anonymously, throughout their day.

When I facilitate Compassion Conversations, I begin by assuring the group that I left my ruler at home.  We are not measuring anyone’s compassion against another’s or an arbitrary compassion standard.  The intent of the conversation is not to judge a person’s compassionate actions; rather, it is to help all those in the conversation better understand their unique, lived experience of compassion.  Individuals are encouraged to discover the depth and breadth of their compassionate action.

Compassion is a lived experience.  By that I mean that each of us decides how our actions alleviate the suffering of our self or another.  It could take the form of alleviating physical suffering — providing a meal for an individual or donating money to an organization that provides foodstuffs to those in need.  We may also listen to the anguish of a friend, family member, or a stranger.  Spontaneously opening a door and offering assistance in the moment are forms of compassion.  Any action that lessens the suffering of another is a compassion filled one.  The best part?  You, yes, you, gets to decide how you alleviates suffering on the Way of Compassion.

So, what is this thing called compassion?  Simply, it is an alleviation of suffering.  But, often we confuse the definition with the action.  Compassion becomes a verb with our actions. 

How does this thing compassion manifest as a verb?  Whoever, however, wherever, and whatever, we feel impelled to alleviate suffering. 

Compassion is a lived experience through which we carve a particular, unique way of life. How are you compassion’s presence today?

Vanessa

Vanessa is an Intuitive, Community Builder, and Compassionista, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action

More from Vanessa & Community Building: www.intentandaction.com

www.intentandaction.com

Even in organizations where coworkers generally work well together, personal agendas can threaten to derail a seemingly stable project.  Worse, team members might not even recognize how their baggage is destabilizing the collective effort.  When individuals are aware of how their personal assumptions and judgments align with the goals of a given project, misunderstandings are prevented and the project runs more smoothly.

Often employees may be unaware of their own agendas or believe that following them are in the best interest of the project.  During these moments honesty, respect, and trust are key to identifying what is stopping the work process, owning personal motives and agendas, and moving the project to completion.

Honesty is double edged.  Each person must be insightful enough to name how their personal agendas, judgments, and perceived needs may be preventing collective creation.  This is internal work that need not be shared with others.  Rather, the understanding of what is getting in the way of working in the group’s collective consciousness is an internal awareness.  Each team member’s intent is to be aware of when their agenda prevents them from working effectively with others.

In times when individual agendas get tangled in with the collective agenda, in order to avoid deeply ingrained conflict, honest is required.  Compassionate gentleness is required to honestly pose questions to others.  With an open mind and an expanded heart, questions are asked in non-threatening ways. 

Perhaps it is believed that someone is unable to move forward because of a personal judgment or assumption.  Or, two people who have diametrically opposed ideas may find it difficult to work together.  Posing questions compassionately encourages non-defensive responses.  The chance of reconciliation and respect increases; feeling threatened or defensive decreases. 

Honesty need not be hurtful.  Speaking with the intent for the good of all requires honesty coupled with respect.  While each person may not agree with everyone, choosing respect creates a bridge that leads to understanding.  Respect unlocks the gateway to collective consciousness.  This is where the true work can be accomplished.  Within the collective consciousness, all members hold unified values and work toward the common good.  Trust of one another is a value in this mindset.

Another aspect of the collective consciousness is the creation of a safe space.  The best work, individually and collectively, occurs when team members feel safe.  Trusting that others will not be harsh or hypercritical is implicit.  What another says is heard is saying differently.  Words that may have seemed hurtful now become critiques accomplished with compassion.  Listening with respect is the norm.  Each member understands and trusts that decisions will not be made haphazardly.

Honestly, respect, and trust create an atmosphere where the effects of personal agendas are diminished and production increased.  Each works toward a common goal trusting that the way to achieve it is dynamic and flexible.  Personal agendas are respected but prevented from derailing projects.

Vanessa F. Hurst is a community builder who works with organizations to identify compassion aspects of their culture and to create a collaborative environment.  She consults with organizations to strengthen relationships with current stakeholders and invites new stakeholders to the community.   

www.intentandaction.com

Arm in Arm, Sharing Our Light

Over three years ago I completed my first stint on jury duty.  I served again about a year ago.  Both times were timely reminders about how we react unknowingly out of our wounds.  From defendant to attorneys to judges to plaintiffs to victims to jurors — each of us carries wounds that are deep and often untended and unknown.  Today I am sitting with the individual and collective wounds that create a polarized and violent world.

From out of those individual wounds trickle the hurt we share unintentionally.  We are unaware of the wounds our words and action inflict on family, friends, and strangers.  We do not realize how this hurt joins forces with the hurt instilled by others.  The trickles combine to become a flood that rushes out into the world impacting others. 

What might begin with the seed of an untended thought surprisingly, to us, blossoms into violent discourse.  We are unaware of how our wounds salted with anger and fears fertilize the seeds of hurt and harm.  We do not understand and, perhaps, are unwilling to own, what we unintentionally grow in the ground of our being.  

During Compassion Conversations©, I have had individuals ask me how we resolve the big issues like the violence perpetrated at Pulse in Orlando, Florida.  Unfortunately, I have no quick fix, easy answer.  I believe that the solution begins in the heart of each of us.  It is our mission to make every thought, every word, and every action articulate the message of

compassion.  And, when we share this message we fertilize the world with compassion.   We grow compassion in ways that leave little room for hurt to flourish.

But, how do we get to a place of compassionate presence?  By being aware of what powers our thoughts, words, and actions, we prevent an outburst of hurt.  When we act in ways that intentionally breathe compassion into the ember of our divine spark, its light is reflected in our wounds.  Aware, we open our self to healing.  We act in ways that heal our self and others. 

Thomas Merton reminds us that everyone carries a flickering light of the sacred within.  He says, “If we could see the pure diamond light within us, we would see the billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of the sun that would make the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely…” Merton knows of no identifiable way to get there — “I have no program for seeing.  It is only given.  But, the gateway of heaven is everywhere.”

In my presentations focusing on compassion, I encourage participants to discover their lived experience.  What is your lived experience?  How can you join your point of light with the points of light of others?  Within this connection, we shine our collective brilliance upon the gateway of heaven.  Arm in arm, as we walk through, we share our peace, our compassion, our message with the world.  No program, just living with compassion one moment at a time.

Arm In Arm, Sharing Our Collective Brilliance, Vanessa

Vanessa is an Intuitive, Community Builder, and Compassionista, and Author of Engaging Compassion Through Intent & Action